While Jake is throwing the plates into the dishwasher, I hear a notification chime. It’s Jake’s phone. He left it on the coffee table.
I pick it up and glance down at it. “Hey, it’s a message from your agent. About how well the workout went yesterday. The teams were impressed. Blah, blah, blah.”
I keep reading and then I freeze. The message continues: that whole part about you and the pretty vet getting back together? Worked like a charm. Without that angle, none of those teams would have flown in scouts to your workout. I only wish I had thought of it myself.
I sit stunned, not sure what to say. The whole thing was a rouse? To fix his career. And get sex out of it? The worst part is I probably would have played along willingly if he had asked. Instead, he made it seem like he really wanted me this time.
I guess I’ve always known deep down that the most important person to Jake is always going to be Jake. And what Jake wants. What I didn’t realize was that even if I’m in his life, I’m always going to be in last place.
That’s when I figure out that the room has gone silent. Jake is staring at me, and the smile is gone now, replaced by a look of concern. “What is it, Angie?”
“Oh, it’s Angie now? What happened to babe?” I look up just in time to see the oh, shit expression cross his face.
“What’s happening? What is this, Angie?”
“The rest of the message from your agent, Jake. He said it worked. The thing with you and the blond vet. The scheme to convince the NFL teams that you’ve changed worked like a charm. He says you wouldn’t have gotten any of the scouts here without it. And he says the whole thing was your idea.”
I inhale, trying desperately to fight off the tears that I know are coming. It’s only a matter of time.
“Angie, it’s not like that.”
I stand. “What’s not like that. What are we even doing, Jake? What are we?”
He stands there motionless. I wait, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Like everything else in your life, this was nothing more than a game.” I go to the bedroom to throw on clothes and grab my things.
“Angie, wait!”
“Wait for what?” I ask as he follows me. “You got what you wanted. You’ll probably get an offer. And then you’ll be gone again. You never had any intention of staying, did you?”
I turn to him.
He still stands there not saying anything.
“Thought so. Unbelievable, Jake.” I walk to the door, but then a final thought hits me and I turn around. “You know what? You convinced the NFL teams that we were together and they fell for it. But I really should have known better. The problem isn’t that you don’t know what you want, Jake. The problem is you always get what you want and damn everybody else. Especially me.”
One door slam later, and I’m on my way down the stairs to the parking garage. Tears stream down my face as I clutch my purse.
Chapter 38
Jake
I stand stunned in my own living room. Am I used to fucking up my own life? Hell, yes. But even I’m stunned at how fast I went from happy to dumpster fire. This awful feeling is how my life has mostly felt for the last few years.
No, this isn’t just my normal dumpster fire. It’s dumpster fire at a shit factory which then spreads and takes out everything else on the block.
What the fuck, Jake? I had it all, for the briefest of moments. And then when she asked me what the hell I’m doing, I choked. The perfect analogy of my life without her.
If I thought that leaving without her the first time left a gaping hole in my stupid heart, I know that’s nothing compared to what I’m feeling now. What we had for a while was perfect, it was all I ever wanted.
But what if I do get my job back? There’s nothing else I’m good at, and I’m not the kind of guy who ever thinks about the future.
She’s the last person in the world that deserves to be hurt. And it’s not how I meant it. Maybe that’s the problem. What did I expect her to do? Follow me around forever like she did in high school with nothing in return? Stupid.
C’mon, Jake. You have to be smarter than that. I have to think. So I throw on sweats and go to the place I always go when I have something I need to figure out. The gym.
Chapter 39
Angie
I have a good cry in the car and then I feel better. But then I’m not really sure what to do next. So I decide to go home and change. That has to be first.
After all, nothing could possibly be worse than going to work and having to explain a Jake Mann walk of shame after what I’ve just been through. It would be way too much to bear.
Once I get to my apartment I consider calling in sick, but that would leave too much for poor Gwen to have to do. Besides, once I get home and change I realize that the last thing I want to do is stay home by myself and mope.
Then I get in my car and head to work, watching the buildings and cars fly by as I drive too fast. What is wrong with me? Why did last night feel so perfect? It only made this morning harder.
I fight back tears again, knowing I can’t keep opening myself up to get hurt like this. It’s time to finally move on from Jake Mann. I know that it’s the only way forward for me.
I pull into the parking lot, and as is usual lately, it’s packed with customers. I guess I
