According to my accountant, I’m in the clear financially for the foreseeable future. So at least that’s one less thing for me to have to worry about today.
I park far away, leaving the close parking spots for the customers. It’s a routine I’m happy with. Plus, I want a longer walk into work. I’m not in any hurry to have to see and interact with people. And yet I don’t want to be alone either.
And so I take a deep breath and throw open the door to my clinic, plastering a fake smile on my face.
Mia looks up at me and does a double take. Her look of concern does not bode well for me faking a good disposition. Oh well, I storm through the waiting room as sweetly as I can manage and then head to my back office. Probably to cry again. Then I’ll see some patients. I’m well aware that it’s a sad to-do list.
I’m not yet to the safety of my office when Mia catches up with me, breathless.
“Oh my God, Angie, you look like hell.”
“Thanks,” I deadpan, “always great to hear that I look awful.”
“No, you look fine. As always. But you don’t look okay. Is everything okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” Not even I believe it, and I’m sure I’m not fooling Mia either. That’s when Gwen catches up to us.
“Hi, boss.” Then she catches sight of my face. “What the hell is wrong, Angie?”
All of a sudden, I’m starting to rethink my ability to see patients today. I wish I were better at hiding my emotions, but in my defense I’m not anywhere close to being okay. And I have no idea how to say it, so I push forward into my office.
Mia and Gwen give each other side-eye and then both of them push and shove their way trying to get into my office first.
I throw myself heavily in my comfy office chair. “Well, if you two are in here with me, who is checking people in and seeing patients?”
They both cross their arms and look at me.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong,” Gwen says.
Mia nods. “Me too.”
I guess they have me over a barrel. And unlike Jake, I know that they are friends and that they aren’t in here looking to take advantage of me. They look legitimately concerned.
“Fine. I broke up with Jake.” Then I think about it for a minute and that’s not exactly what happened. I found out he was the asshole I thought he was before, and he just stood there like an idiot instead of convincing me otherwise, and I stormed out.
So the idea that I broke things off is an oversimplification, but it’s not entirely inaccurate. Now I’m giving myself a headache just thinking about it.
Gwen shuts the door to give us a little bit of privacy. “What? Why?”
“I guess I thought he had changed. And I was wrong. He was using me. To help his reputation, to get a new NFL team interested in him. Something like that. It was a plan. A scheme. Not a relationship.”
To be fair, he was helping me with my business too. I thought he was being nice. Turns out it was an unspoken quid pro quo that cost me a lot more than I was prepared to pay.
“No,” Mia says, shaking her head, “I don’t believe it. I mean, I saw the way he looks at you.”
I smooth my hair with my hand and try to force myself to breathe in and out. “Well, you can believe it because it’s true.”
“That jerk,” Gwen adds, “I’m really sorry, Angie.”
“Thank you, guys. It means a lot. It really does. Now if you’ll just give me a few minutes to compose myself, maybe I can still be of use in the office today.”
Gwen narrows her eyes at me. “You sure you shouldn’t just go home?”
“No, I want to help. Be there in a few.”
Thankfully, the two of them file out of my office, giving me a few minutes to process the events of the morning. Damn you, Jake Mann.
Chapter 40
Jake
This time I get to Salt Life first. I’m early, way early. Before they even open early. I pull up a barstool and stare at the televisions, but of course they’re not turned on.
So I swivel in my barstool to see the ocean view. It’s peaceful, watching the waves roll onto the shore and seeing the tree branches sway with the breeze. I listen to people walk by having happy conversations and kids screaming joyfully.
It’s funny. I always come here and drink and talk and watch the games, but I never look at the view. It’s peaceful.
“Hi, Jake.” The voice comes from behind me, inside the bar. It’s old Bill.
I swivel back around to face him. “Hi, Bill. How are you?”
He thinks about it before he answers. “Better than you, son. You look like somebody ran over your dog and then backed up and did it again.”
“Yeah,” I say, “that about sums it up.”
“You meeting the boys here or drinking alone?”
“The boys are coming,” I answer, trying to force a weak smile.
Bill shakes his head at me like he knows the answer to every mystery in the world. He’s not obnoxious about it though. He always lets you find the answers yourself.
That’s all in the past, though. He can’t solve my problems anymore. In the past my problems were about football and schemes and blocking. Bill was a player in the league briefly and then he had a stint coaching college. Whenever there was something on the field I couldn’t figure out, I’d come here. To see Bill. And he always helped me out.
“You know I don’t open for another half hour, right?”
“I guess I’m here to think more than drink.” It’s not entirely true. I plan to get blind stinking drunk tonight. I even uber’d here instead of driving.
Bill heads a few feet under the roof covering and starts pulling chairs off of tables
