“I don’t want to be a woman who changes the men she’s with. I’m not right—”
“Stop, please,” he begged. “That’s not what this is. I promise, it’s not. You’re not trying to change me. This is a fault of mine and I’ve known this. That wasn’t what happened this time. We all change from being single people who then adapt to being a couple. That’s what I need to do better, but that’s not why I hurt you so much.”
“No, that did,” I confessed. “That was the start of it. That you kept ignoring things when you used to be attentive and notice everything. You missed so much—”
“Mel told me,” he mumbled as he moved closer. “I’m damn near oblivious to everything, love. Except you. That’s what you can’t seem to fit in your head. I paid attention to you always. I don’t pay attention to the idiot coeds or Campbell. That was my fault because it hurt you. That was what I missed, but I don’t care about them and their prattle.”
He gave me a moment with that and I nodded. That was what I’d missed of it. That was different than my trying to change him. I’d adjusted to be in a relationship too. It was all logical and fair.
“I’m not leaving. I won’t leave, no matter how many times you push me away or say no,” he stated firmly, his voice cracking.
“That’s not healthy or—”
“As long as I can still see love in your aura when you look at me, I am not giving up on you, Tamsin Vale. I am not giving up on us.” He pulled out his phone and tapped it several times.
OneRepublic’s “Let’s Hurt Tonight” came on, and then he hugged me. He kissed my hair as he wrapped his arms around me so every inch of us was touching.
“I won’t leave you again. I wasn’t leaving you before. I just needed time. I’m sorry it seemed like I abandoned you,” he whispered in my ear. “I understand why it did. I don’t blame you for thinking that. It was my fault. I was coming back. I could never leave you, my sweet fairy. Never. And I won’t now. I’m yours. I’ve always been and I will always be yours.”
I didn’t know what else to do but dance with him.
When the song was over he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, his tears salty on my lips. He didn’t push past that, pulling away and letting me go.
I grabbed his arm and quickly gave him the rune. “Put your blood on it and the dogs will come. I don’t know if we can work things out but losing you, you dying because of me, would kill me too. Promise.”
“I promise, my sweet fairy.” He swallowed loudly. “I’m sorry you regret today.”
“I d—”
“You do,” he whispered. “I saw it in your aura.”
“I don’t know what I feel, Julian.”
He studied my aura and relief filled his eyes. “Well that is true too. I know you don’t lie to me, but you’re always on a roller coaster. Thank you for being honest with me.”
“I’m sorry what we did implied more than I thought.” Man that sounded stupid.
“I guess it really didn’t, and I just assumed it did. I don’t have much more experience than you do, and I’ve always been the socially inept dork, love.” He cupped my cheek and gave me a sad smile. “But even if it hurt you for an instant, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that. No matter how much it meant to me, how much joy I felt being with you again, I’d make it not happen so it didn’t hurt you.”
Damn him. It was so, so hard to remember why I couldn’t be with him when he said things like that, acted as he did earlier. And I didn’t mean the sex—though that counted too—but back to being my doc, who paid attention and fought for me, loved me.
“I’ll leave you to make the call you need. If you need help, you know how to reach me. I’ll answer. I’ll always answer.”
But you didn’t before when I needed you.
I swallowed loudly and nodded, not saying my thoughts, even though he probably saw it in my aura. That was one of the big trust issues I didn’t know if we could ever repair. Maybe I wasn’t old enough to truly know if time healed all wounds.
Taking a few moments to compose myself, I sat down and tapped my phone several times to connect to Geiger.
“Tamsin, what can I do for you this fine Saturday?” he greeted.
“I need you to pull the trigger on the plan we’ve been discussing,” I answered with a sigh.
He was quiet several moments. “You’re sure we’re there.”
“I think we’re past there, but something happened today where I don’t think we have a choice. We need to make them all fight amongst themselves to give me more time, or they’re going to start making more alliances to come for me.”
“Tell me.”
So I did. I obviously left out the sex with Julian part, but yeah, I told him what I’d walked in on and how it’d all played out. How the head of the Craftsman family attacked me right there in the arena to illegally take me to warlock elders without any justification and to sell me for his council seat.
To say he was shocked was a slight understatement.
Furious was another way to describe it for sure.
“I will inform the other partners that the plug is being pulled. Everything else is ready?”
“Yes, the transfers are all prepped on our end.”
“There will be losses, which is why the—”
I sighed. Heavily.
Then he did. “What did you do, young one?”
“Something I haven’t even told the others when I told them
