I winced and looked at Julian. “Sorry.”
His gaze softened. “I wasn’t going to hide it, love. I know it’s my family, but they’re a threat to you now. I was going to tell Mel and your security immediately. Thank you for trying to protect me even after all I did—earlier and now.”
He waited until I nodded and then filled the others in on what the head of the Craftsman family had been up to and tried.
“This is bad,” Mel whispered, giving me a worried look. “If the council is willing to make alliances with powerhouse families like the Craftsmans that they don’t even like and distrust because they’re fucking powerful just for you, that’s a mother fucking problem, Tams.”
“I know.” I swallowed loudly. “I gave Hudson the rune I gave you and Geiger. It’s time you guys all got them. Izzy too.”
“What rune?” Lucca asked.
“The ability to call upon and command the fae dogs sworn to her if there’s a major situation,” Mel answered. “And I mean major, as in no other option, as it will out her. But also, don’t wait too long to use it, as you have to put your blood on the rune and give them the commands when they arrive. So it’s a bit of a balancing act.”
“They’re pretty damn astute and know what’s what,” I muttered. “When I’ve called on them, they really do know exactly what’s going on and just handle shit, and they weren’t even the ones sworn to me. They’ll come when I call, and I can open a portal to any of the packs who are willing to aid me.”
“Wow, just wow,” Hudson whispered. “Well, I feel a lot better about your safety at least.”
“Yeah, so do I,” Craftsman agreed. “It would suck, and horribly, but you could literally call them all to one fairy estate to protect you while you continue your work in Faerie.”
“That is our last resort plan,” Mel confessed. “People would try to cut her off from food or supplies, but she’s got enough places with land that’s covered with fruit and animals. The hobgoblins would come and feed her plus, she can open portals how no one knows. Plus, supes can’t mess with humans, so there are always ways to play that card. We could make it work.”
“If we have to,” I agreed.
“What is this move you were talking about just now?” Hudson asked.
I licked my lips and glanced at Julian. “It’s against your family. I had a feeling they were going to try for me soon. You don’t paint a pretty picture of them. It’s why I wanted your mom out of the way.”
“They aren’t my family, simply my last name, love. My mum is my family. You are. My da’s gone. Those people are assholes. Do what you have to so you’re better protected.” The slightly begging tone of his voice made me ache to hug him, but I ignored it.
I was too all over the place to make any of those kinds of decisions at the moment.
Clearly, my judgment couldn’t be trusted.
Nor my fucking hormones.
I filled them in and the room was dead quiet for several moments, only Mel having known what I’d been plotting… And she wasn’t a fan. It was too blatant and in your face, when we were used to working behind the scenes and pulling the rug out from under people.
Yeah, well, we were in the spotlight now and sometimes, the best shots were taken in secret. Other times, the best ones were public.
“I don’t get a vote, but if you’re worried about part of it being my family, don’t,” Julian said gently. “I think it’s brilliant and Geiger will keep you safe.”
“Thanks.”
“I would like a word before I leave though.”
“I don’t know that’s a good idea,” Lucca muttered, glancing between us. “I think some space might be better.”
Probably, but the look in Julian’s eyes said I owed him at least that… And I did.
“Yeah, okay,” I whispered. I went over by him, not to be closer, but because he was on the path to get away from the others. I didn’t want to go back to the library, so I thought the sitting room in the other wing could work.
He moved his hand to my lower back and let me lead, keeping close to me. “Thank you.”
I let him into the room and stepped away, glad when he let me.
“I need to hear you say it, not simply read it from your aura,” he rasped. “Did you forgive me?”
I swallowed loudly and somehow formed the word. “No.”
“Can you?”
“I don’t think so,” I breathed, wiping my eyes as I felt the tears yet again.
“You did today for a moment if you let me touch you,” he argued. “At least for a moment. Why can’t we have more moments like that?” He cleared his throat when I flinched. “Not the sex, love. I mean more moments where I’m worth forgiving.”
I shook my head and took a step back. “You’ll leave me again.”
“I won’t.”
“I wasn’t what you wanted and you just… Faded, Julian. You…” Something big hit me and I didn’t even try to stop the tears. “Maybe you weren’t what I wanted.”
“What?” he gasped.
I shrugged. “You warned me from the start that you get lost in your head and forget the world, the people in it. I keep saying you didn’t like what you saw in me and faded away, but maybe it’s me who can’t handle who you are. I didn’t—couldn’t fight to keep you with me.”
“No, you did. You sent me that gift to smack me. You fought and I was—I wanted—that’s not who I am. I can
