“Not that I can think of and believe me, if I could think of something, I would tell you.” I turned a bit and pressed my lips to his cheek. “I think maybe we can get past your sins, as you call them. Hearing your voice in my head asking me not to be taken away like I was a toy to you is fading. It was all wrapped together, and I know that’s not your fault. It’s my life though. I’m sorry.”
“Take all the time you need, my princess,” he murmured as he brushed his lips over my cheek. “Just please, please, give me another chance. I will wait forever for you. You deserve it, and not just because I messed up. You’re worth it. I know I don’t deserve it, but I need the hope. I’m having trouble holding on.”
I blinked back tears, knowing exactly how that felt. I knew that feeling down to my soul. Hudson and I might not be the situation with Faerie, but I knew that feeling and lost way.
So I kissed him. It was soft and chaste, but it was a kiss. “I can’t think of a reason I won’t give you another chance. Just not yet. If we keep moving forward as we are, and our trust builds back, I want to.”
“Thank you. Thank you, Tamsin,” he choked out, hugging me to him.
I wanted to thank him too. I wanted to convey that it meant a lot to me that he would try and fight for us… But that sounded like I was doing this to test him, or make him prove something to me for the sake of drama, and that wasn’t what this was. I wasn’t sure I could explain it, but I knew if I could use magic to simply fix any of this, I would.
I didn’t want either of us to hurt.
“Things are about to get worse, and I’m worried how bad they’ll get before I find the help I need,” I whispered, letting him see I needed the hope too. “I think it’s time for the stand, with or without the others, and pray I can find them before I fall.”
“No, come on, don’t talk like that,” he begged, tears filling his eyes. “What happened today? You’ve been so happy lately.”
I swallowed loudly. “They won’t stop, Hudson. They’re reaching out to everyone for any chance to get me. People will take that chance at every turn. I’m going to make a move that will help or blow up. If it blows up, we have to be ready. I need you to be ready, okay? Warn your family.”
He searched my eyes and nodded. “I trust you, but you’re new to this world. Who else thinks this is a good move? You’re always smart enough to ask.”
“Geiger.”
“I’d trust him.”
“I do, but people aren’t acting rationally. It could backfire. In case it does.” I reached out and grabbed his wrist, giving him the fairy rune I had Geiger, ignoring when he winced in pain. “That gives you the power to call upon the fae dogs sworn to me. If the shit hits the fan, you put your blood on it and a portal will open to call them to you. Do not hesitate and we can deal with the fallout, okay?”
“Only if you promise not to hesitate with your safety as well.”
“I won’t, because I think we’re there,” I admitted. “It’s… There’s this feeling of a tipping point. I can’t explain it any other way. I’ve been feeling it all semester. Something is coming, and with the way the councils are ramping up, I can’t help but think it’s not good.”
“Then I’m not going to regret not doing this,” he mumbled before slanting his mouth over mine.
I kissed him back, glad when he didn’t kick it up, but simply let me feel what he was, and allowed me to show him I was there too.
We went back to the others in the kitchen and they all seemed relieved the pin was put back in whatever had been going on with Hudson.
“So what happened with Craftsman?” Mel asked.
“Umm…” I cleared my throat and rubbed my arm.
“You can tell them, love,” he said from behind me, sucking in a harsh breath when I flinched. “So you didn’t forgive me.”
Oh fuck. I wasn’t wearing any of my charms. I hadn’t put them back on after my shower, and that meant my aura muting charm wasn’t on me. I couldn’t make my mouth work to say anything, jumping when he touched me. I spun around and backed away from him, hating the crushed expression that bloomed on his face.
“No, please, please, love,” he rasped, as he came towards me. “Please give me a chance at least. You—we—I thought—”
“Back off, Julian,” Mel said gently, as she moved her hand to his arm and stopped him as I kept retreating.
“I don’t know what happened,” I whispered, hating that was what I kept saying. “You knew you couldn’t take him, but you wouldn’t hand me over. He was going to let them melt your mind, and I know how much you fear that, but you would have done it for me. You tried to get me to run—I saw you loved me. It wasn’t my magic or being a fairy—I just… It just happened.”
“But you regret it,” he choked out.
“I-I don’t—I’m not…” I shook my head and hugged myself. I was fairly sure my answer was yes, and that would hurt him more, so I went another way. “I thought I’d cheated. It’s all jumbled. I can’t settle.”
He didn’t respond, sniffling as he tried to get it together. I knew that without even looking at him. “That’s fair. You’ve been through a lot and today was hard too.”
“What happened today?” Mel
