He reacted like I’d slapped him, turning away from me. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths before looking at me again, tears in his eyes. “Who?”
“Craftsman. I don’t—it just…” I trailed off, hating how cliché I sounded and not able to do it to him and make things worse.
“You made up with Craftsman and had sex? That’s not cheating on me, agra. I knew your feelings for him and said I’d accept your decision.”
I blinked at him. Yeah, he had. I shook my head though. “We didn’t make up. I don’t know—I… I didn’t cheat? No, I cheated.” I backed away from him. “I need a shower. I’m dirty.” I fled to the bathroom, closing the door behind me and turning on the water full blast hot. I pulled everything out of my pockets and yanked off my clothes.
Moving under the water before it had even warmed up, I immediately started scrubbing. I was so focused on getting clean of the proof of my betrayal, I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone anymore until he touched me. I let out a good and proper yelp, but all he did was hug me to him.
“You didn’t cheat, agra,” he whispered. “You would never cheat on me. I still love you and we’re fine. You love Craftsman and I knew that. I knew part of you belonged to him. I knew you were going through your first real breakup with the first man you truly loved, and it’s normal to fall off the wagon or whatever happened.”
“I don’t know what happened,” I repeated.
“But you consented, right? You agreed?” He sighed in relief when I nodded. “That’s all that matters. I’m not upset at all.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I confessed turning and hugging him, clutching onto him with all I had. “I don’t ever know what I’m doing, Darby. I just…”
“You miss him. I know. Hell, I miss having him around, and I wasn’t in love with him. He fit well with us, but he messed up and shattered your heart. That didn’t mean you stopped loving him. It’s okay.”
“How are you so cool with this? How do you have all this wisdom?”
He sighed again and kissed my hair. He moved us a bit in the water, and it made me realize it wasn’t scalding hot anymore, so he had to have adjusted it. “I’m honestly shocked you didn’t fall off the wagon sooner. That’s not a slight against your willpower, but just how much you love him. The rest… I watched it all play out. I had a front row seat for how much he crushed you before we broke up.”
“I love you,” I whispered, hoping it didn’t sound hollow right then.
“I love you too. We’re fine. You’re going to be fine too.”
I was completely relieved until something hit me. “Wait, I might still have cheated on Lucca.”
He flinched, but then relaxed. “I doubt he will feel that way. You guys aren’t even official because his father is a nutfuck. He knows you love Craftsman too. I’m sure it will be fine.”
Well, that was one of us.
11
I felt bad for completely ruining Darby’s plans for the rest of the day, but we did end up back at my house. Lucca had figured out something was up and had tried to contact me, but I’d been too worked up. Once we’d gotten there, and food, I’d texted him and snuck him there with a portal.
“I need you to sit across the room from her, just in case,” Darby stated before I started. “I think it’s not going to be a big deal, but just in case, you’re an Alpha bear, and you’re not mated.”
Lucca sighed. “And we’re known for having serious tempers.” He cleared his throat. “Did you make up with Craftsman? He was looking for you and seemed desperate in a different way than I’ve seen him, like you were slipping away from him, not already gone.”
“We didn’t really talk,” I muttered, rubbing my neck. “Um, we didn’t make up.”
“Ahhh, you had ex-lover sex and now you regret it,” he muttered.
Was that what I’d done? I sighed and wiped my eyes. “I don’t really know what I did. I don’t know what I can say about the situation I walked in on first, but it was bad, and that was the catalyst. I blinked and it was happening.”
“And after?”
“I felt dirty,” I choked out. “I cheated.”
“You didn’t cheat, kitten,” he whispered as he came over to me. He knelt down in front of the chair I was sitting in and moved his hands over my knees. “You didn’t cheat. Don’t say that. You’re not a cheat. We knew what you had with Craftsman might not be done. You made sure we knew. This is all complicated, and our lives aren’t calm.”
“This wasn’t some random guy, agra,” Darby added. “If you went off with Juan, yes, that would be cheating. Yes, that would hurt us. This is Craftsman. He and Hudson go in a different category, and we accept that. All you need to worry about is what you feel and handling this how you need to.”
“Wait,” Lucca cut in, looking towards the garage. “Someone came through the portal.”
A few moments later, Mel came into the kitchen… With Hudson.
Huh?
“He’s about to freak out, and I’m saying as a dragon, I get it. Please, just give him this pass and hear him out, talk with him. You want this quiet, and he’s trying to respect your wishes. He came to me and asked what he should do as he’s losing control. This was my idea.”
“Um, okay?” I glanced at Lucca and Darby. “Is this okay?”
Darby agreed, looking
