I swallowed loudly and finally said what was stopping me. “What if he really won’t, Mel? What if he says I’m not worth putting in the effort for and walks away from me? I can’t take that again after Craftsman.”
“He’s not Craftsman. Hudson has messed up before and earned your trust back. He is an idiot who kept making the same mistakes at higher levels. That’s his crime. He’s shown his loyalty to you. You’ve just been too hurt to see it. Give him the chance to make the amends he deserves to, as he’s proven he’ll earn your trust back.”
I wasn’t sure I could do that, but when she offered the charms, my hand moved on its own and took them. So, somewhere inside of me I wanted to make up with him, right?
Right?
2
I showered and changed before going back to Hudson’s room, at least having enough tact to not show up at my dragon mate’s window smelling like another man… Who he was best friends with and had intimate feelings for they’d acted on a handful of times.
Plus, I’d needed the time to think.
He met me at the window with his arm reaching out to help me in.
“Can I come in?” I asked hesitantly.
His expressions softened. “Always. You’re always welcome in my room and house, no matter what’s going on with us, Tamsin.”
That was good to know at least, even if it hurt that he wasn’t calling me his princess anymore. I didn’t want it, but… It was weird hearing my name on his lips like a slap of what we’d lost. The same with him not speaking in my head. It had been where we’d started, even if skipping so many steps. We could say we’d been casual all we wanted, but we’d jumped ahead in other ways too.
I let out a slow breath after I put up the barrier so no one could hear us or sense me. “I’m sorry about earlier. No matter how upset I am with you or what you’ve done, I would never, not ever, demean you or treat you with such disrespect. In anger, I might not realize how stupid something I’ve done or said comes off, or be too angry to care, but I truly did not mean to hurt you or demean our… Thing.”
He studied me and gave a slow nod, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the wall. “I accept your apology and thank you for giving it. I apologize for snapping at you. I was being sensitive. It’s been hard on me too, and the energy’s been possibly frying me more than you, as dragons are more sensitive to it.
“I don’t know given you’re more powerful magically. Having it suddenly stop was like crashing into a wall, and I…” He shook his head. “It felt like you had to know how much it would hurt me, but I realized after there was no way you could. So, I’m sorry I was harsh in my response.”
“Thank you.” I cleared my throat as I adjusted how I stood a bit. “It’s frying me out, but when it stopped, it was more like stepping under a cool shower when it’s been burning my skin, like too much superhot sun. It was relief, not hurt, so I’m… I’m sorry it hurt you to stop when it’s been nice for me?” I ran my fingers through my hair. “That sounds heartless too.”
“No, I understand what you mean.”
“Good, because I have no fucking clue what I’m doing here, Hudson. None at all. All this mates stuff is super complicated, and it’s hard to dance around. And not just with you guys. I-I love Darby and he’s not my mate and that worries him. I hear how much that worries him, no matter how much he tries to play it off. He thinks we’ll make up and he’ll be out because you and Lucca are together too.”
Hudson couldn’t hide his shock, but then he gave a swift nod. “I’ll talk to Darby. I would never do that or even ask it. He is good for you. He is a good man, and I respect him, especially after how he’s gone after his family and that disgusting network who treat fairies as blood cows. I’ve never seen him treat you like anything but a queen, and I have no objection to him staying at your side as long as you both want.”
“Good, because I won’t give him up, no matter what,” I whispered. “I know we started first, but he… It’s real.”
He gave another swift nod. “I know, and with Craftsman too.”
I let out a shaky breath. “I don’t think that will ever be an issue.”
He swallowed loudly. “I will respect your choice either way. River will have a hard time accepting if you take him back, but I knew your heart was partially his and as your mate, I will deal with that again.”
It took me a moment for his meaning to sink in. He didn’t forgive Craftsman for what the warlock had done to me. Well that was interesting since they’d all acted like they were banding together, working together to get me back.
Something to file away for later.
Right then, I wanted to stay focused. “Mel said I was about to do harm to you I couldn’t undo later, as you’re not a human, but a dragon, and I don’t want that.” I couldn’t meet his eyes then and focused on my feet. “But I can’t just forgive you. I’m sorry. I know
