Emboldened, she took him deeper and felt him shudder. Oh, she liked that—but not because it made her feel powerful but because it made it obvious how much she pleased him. She stoked harder, faster, and his hand tightened convulsively over hers as she went deeper with each stroke.
He hit the back of her throat and she almost panicked, but he was still watching her, and she remembered to breathe and swallowed around him. He groaned again and his hand tightened in her hair but it wasn’t painful, not at all, and she took him deeper still as he grew impossibly harder. His hips jerked forward once, twice, and then he was coming in long hot waves as he called out her name.
His hand gentled in her hair, curving around to cup her cheek. Her eyes had been fixed on his face the entire time and now she saw him smile—not smug or triumphant but simply happy. She had started this game with the intention of establishing her control, but she had never experienced anything remotely similar, never felt so close to someone. What had she done?
Horrified, she felt a tear slip down her cheek.
Chapter Twelve
Damn. How had she ended up in tears in his arms once again? John lifted Serena to her feet, then further up, cradling her against his chest before he sat down with her in his lap. She started to struggle free but every instinct told him that she didn’t need to be alone right now. He tucked her more closely against him.
“Hush, love. It’s all right. You’re safe.”
“S-Safe? I’m never safe.” Her voice broke, and the silent tears turned to outright sobs.
Appalled at her reaction, he was about to release her when she turned and burrowed further into his chest, her arms clinging to him with desperate intensity. He rocked her gently, stroking the short silky strands of her hair, and let her cry.
Even though each sob tore at him, he made no attempt to prevent her crying. How long has it been since she’s let loose like this? he wondered. He continued holding her until finally the tears disappeared into a few shuddering gasps. She leaned her head back against his arm and looked up at him. Her nose was red, her eyes swollen, but she was still every bit as beautiful to him. She studied him, her face completely vulnerable.
“I don’t usually cry,” she said finally.
“I believe you. It seemed as if you had a lot of tears stored up.”
“Apparently.” Her attempt at a laugh sounded like another sob.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” she said immediately, then sighed. “But maybe I owe you an explanation.”
“You don’t owe me anything, love.”
“I think perhaps I do.” She looked away from him and he saw her fingers flexing. “I was in a relationship once, when I was very young. It ended… badly and taught me not to trust anyone. It was a valuable lesson.” For a moment, she sounded like her usual slightly sardonic self, but then she sighed again. “As I said, I was young. I was also destitute and without a future. But I had a brain and I had my looks, and I used them both. I did whatever it took.” Her chin rose defiantly. “Including sex.”
When he didn’t respond, she frowned. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“What do you want me to say? I’m not here to judge you, love.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes again. “How can you do that? You always say the one thing that makes me feel better—and worse. Don’t you realize that I was trying to use you?”
“Serena, you didn’t burst into tears because you were using me. You were crying because you know that there’s a lot more between us than that.”
Before she could respond, he bent down and kissed her. Her body stiffened and he was afraid that she was going to pull away, but then she melted against him. He made no attempt to take advantage of her surrender. Instead, he took his time and let her lead the way, her mouth shy, as tentative as if she had never been kissed before.
Perhaps she never has been kissed by someone who truly cares for her, he thought, his heart aching.
The kisses went on and on and she grew bolder, more demanding, but even though his cock was once again stiff and aching, satisfaction filled him. When they finally separated, her mouth was pink and swollen, her cheeks flushed.
“Now what?” she whispered.
“Now I feed you and put you to bed.”
“You don’t want… more?”
“Of course I do.” He ran a finger along her plump lower lip. “Make no mistake, love. I always want you. But I suspect you need some time to think about what’s happening between us. So food and bed.”
She nodded and sat up in his arms, then shot him a shyly mischievous look. “Do I at least get a goodnight kiss?”
“As many as you want,” he promised.
He was as good as his word. After a silent meal, she reached for his shirt and pulled it over her head, then lay down next to the heater and opened her arms to him. He went willingly, and when she raised her mouth for his kiss, he happily obliged. They kissed and looked at the stars, and he even found himself telling her about some of the places that had rejected him. She simply listened and kissed him some more and finally fell asleep in his arms.
She awoke him with kisses again in the morning, but even though his cock was once again stiff and aching and he caught the sweet scent of her arousal, she didn’t try and initiate anything further and neither did he. He would wait until she was ready. He gave her one last kiss and went to get Winston ready to travel.
Serena stared unseeingly at
