Brett erupted into laughter. Loobey was smiling, too, and he clapped his hands in joy. “I love it. Gets me every time.”
“Yeah, well, anyway…” Ryan felt his cheeks growing red. “There I am, in a ball on the ground, screaming for dear life, when I hear someone hissing. The goose is honking like a maniac, but slowly it starts to back off. I finally dare to look up and there’s this gorgeous brunette staring down at me. She has a rolled-up magazine in her right hand that she used to bat the goose around the head to save me. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life, but she never made me feel silly about it for a moment. I remember her shouting at the goose to “fuck off”, like it was a goddamn mugger after my wallet.” He shook his head with a smile, remembering it like it was yesterday. “She helped me over to a bench and rubbed my back until I stopped hyperventilating, and then she took me to have a cup of tea for my nerves over at the burger van by the factories. I never went to that sodding lake again, but the rest is history. Sophie literally saved my life that day.”
“I doubt the goose would have killed you,” said Brett, tears in his eyes from laughing. “It was probably defending its young; they’re highly territorial. When you stopped to catch your breath, it must have felt threatened.”
“Trust you to take the goose’s side,” said Ryan. “Anyway, my point is that I’ve loved Sophie ever since the moment she fought a goose for me.”
Brett’s laughter disappeared and he appeared confounded. “Then why—”
The front door rattled and Sean peered in at them through the broken window. His eyes were gone, but somehow he seemed to see them anyway. The grin on his face was obscene, and without a word, he reached in through the broken window and let go of something.
A bird took flight, swooping towards Loobey on the sofa. He managed to grab a cushion and shield himself just in time. The bird was tiny but clearly infected by the fungus – a ball of dark green fuzz swooping through the air. A flash of blue might have been the bird’s original colouring, but it was no more than a patch.
The bird swooped again, this time aiming for Aaron. Instinctively, Ryan leapt across the room and slapped at it. He missed, but it caused the bird to redirect its flight and miss Aaron. The whole while, Sean cackled with laughter at the broken window. Green fuzz had replaced his eyes, but he knew the peril he had caused them.
Brett slashed at the air with a knife, but the bird was too small and too fast. Several times it almost collided with his face. Loobey batted the bird away with the cushions, screaming like a little girl. It flew silently, making no sound or showing any signs of anger or fear. Yet it was relentless in its aggression, continuously swooping around the room and trying to collide with their terrified faces.
The bird dove at Ryan. Ryan ducked. Ever since the goose attack, he had hated birds, but never had he been afraid of one so small. Would one peck be enough to infect him? One scratch?
Nearby, Aaron scrambled between the sofas and threw himself over to the console table where he grabbed the lamp. The plug pulled away from the socket as he yanked it by the wire and the glowing bulb turned dim.
Brett shouted a warning as the bird swooped around and dove at Ryan a second time. This time, Ryan was already crouched, which left him unable to go lower or move aside. There was no way he could avoid the bird.
Aaron swung the lamp by its cord. Through miraculous luck, or uncanny accuracy, the bulbous lamp base struck the bird in mid-air and knocked it to the ground, where it thudded against the floorboards and started twitching. Immediately, Ryan straightened up and stamped on it, adding its guts to the sloppy mess already coating his trainers. “Pass that on to the goose, you sonofabitch.”
Brett hobbled towards the front door with his knife. Despite their earlier conversation, Ryan couldn’t bring himself to object. “Sean, if you can hear me – if there’s any part of you left – just leave us alone. We won’t let you infect us, do you hear me? I’ll kill you if I have to.”
Still peering in through the broken window diamond, Sean’s face distorted, his grin stretching right across his ruined face. Rancid flesh and brown liquid oozed down his cheeks. One of his ears had slid right down onto his collarbone. “It’s too late, Brett. It’s too late for you.”
Brett lunged with the knife, stabbing it through the broken window and trying to sink it into Sean’s face. Sean stepped backwards casually and walked away, leaving behind his words.
It’s too late for you.
“What the hell did he mean?” said Loobey. He began patting himself down, pulling up his sleeves and examining himself. “Are we infected?”
“He’s just messing with us,” said Brett. “Stay calm.”
But Loobey didn’t stay calm. “You already said we could breathe it in. What if it’s inside me?” He leaned forward on his knees and started taking deep breaths. “I can feel it. It’s in my lungs. I can’t breathe.”
Ryan hurried over and started rubbing his friend’s back. “It’s all right, Loobs. In and out, slowly, okay? Everything is fine. You’re fine.”
Loobey sucked in air through his nose and let it out through his mouth. “This is so messed up. Seriously, how is this happening? How?”
“Like you said, someone has to be the shit statistic. We’re the one in a billion
