Sean leapt out of the armchair and started pacing back and forth on the other side of the coffee table like a caged lion. “A lease paid for by a fat solicitor’s salary from daddy’s firm.”
Tom stood up too. “I’ve had enough of this. More fool me for offering to drive everybody up here. I shouldn’t have bothered.”
Sean stopped pacing and glared. “You wanna make a move, our kid?”
“No, I do not. I’m going outside to get some air. Please move out of the way.”
“And what if I don’t?”
Aaron put his hands on his head. “Please, stop fighting.”
Ryan leapt up between the two of them. Sean’s eyes were all over the place, rolling around like marbles. “Maybe you ought to lay off the powder, Sean. You’re being a right dickhead.”
Sean rarely got nasty with Ryan, and thankfully this was one of those times. Instead of being outraged, he dropped back down in the armchair and shrugged. “Just having a laugh, ain’t I? Calm the fuck down.”
“We are calm,” said Brett. “It’s you that’s—”
Ryan waved an arm to shut him up. “It’s sorted, okay? Let’s just have a good time.” He pulled a sulky face and stomped his foot. “This is my party and you’re ruining it. You’re ruining it!”
Everyone howled with laughter. Even Tom, who had sat back down instead of going outside for air. He reached out to reclaim his beer from the coffee table, but it tilted and fell over as the coffee table’s glass insert hopped in its metal frame. “What the…?”
A sudden thumping sound – like a condemned Manchester tower block coming down – made everybody flinch. A picture frame, featuring a hairy cow, fell off the wall and smashed against the floorboards. In the kitchenette the oven door swung open. Ryan, still standing, stumbled towards the fireplace, only just managing to grab the stone surround to keep himself from falling into the recently lit fire.
What the hell is happening?
The entire cottage shook, white-painted stone walls creaking. Flecks of ancient paint fell from the uneven ceiling.
“It’s a sodding earthquake,” said Sean, a mad grin on his face. “Buzzing!”
Brett braced himself against the arm of the sofa. “I’ve never felt anything like this.”
Aaron called out anxiously. “Ryan!”
Ryan stumbled his way towards his brother, trying to keep his balance as the floor rocked beneath his feet. He was utterly confused, and growing more and more terrified as the quaking continued.
Then the quaking stopped.
Everyone looked at one another.
The only sound was Tom’s beer dripping over the edge of the coffee table.
After a moment, Tom stood up. “Th-That was rather unexpected.”
Sean hopped up, knees like springs. “That was amazing. What a way to remember your stag do, Ryan. A proper earthquake.”
Loobey glanced at Brett. “Was it an earthquake?”
Brett shrugged. “I suppose it must have been.”
“That was horrible,” said Aaron, leaning over his knees and taking deep breaths. “I thought we were gonna die.”
Sean patted him on the back and handed him a fresh beer. “Don’t let it bother you, little man. It’s over now and we can laugh about it.”
Aaron took the beer and managed a smile. “Yeah, I suppose it was pretty cool.”
“It didn’t feel like an earthquake to me,” said Tom. “It felt more like… like an impact or something.”
Brett folded his arms and frowned. “Like a plane crash?”
“We would have heard an explosion,” said Ryan, “but otherwise I agree. It felt like something thumping into the ground outside.”
“Maybe it was a boulder falling,” said Loobey. “We’re surrounded by mountains, right?”
Everyone looked at Brett, causing him to grow irritated. “Why does everyone keep looking at me?”
“Because you’re the smart one,” said Loobey. “You always have the answers.”
“Well, not this time, I’m afraid.”
“Let’s ’ave a mooch outside,” said Sean. “Whatever it was, I wanna see the damage.”
“That sounds like a bad idea,” said Loobey. “It’s getting late.”
“You scared of the dark, our kid? Don’t worry, I’ll hold yer hand.”
“I’m not afraid,” said Aaron, chest puffed out, “and it would be better to know, right?”
“Absolutely,” said Tom. “What if it was a boulder and another one falls during the night and crushes us in our sleep?”
Ryan groaned. “I think we might be getting a little carried away here, lads.”
“I agree,” said Brett. He took his glasses off to rub at his eyes.
“Why don’t we just go take a look,” said Aaron. “What harm will it do?”
Brett put his glasses back on and shrugged. “I suppose it is feeling a little claustrophobic in here. Some fresh air might be nice.”
“You lot crack me up,” said Sean. “Come on, get yer coats. We’re making this party al fresco.”
“I’m freezing,” said Loobey, clutching himself inside his grey woollen overcoat.
Ryan frowned. “Really? You look a bit sweaty.”
Loobey wiped at his clammy forehead and seemed embarrassed. “You try being fat. Temperature control ain’t one of my strong points.”
Ryan wore a scarf inside his Superdry jacket. He took it off and handed it to Loobey. Truthfully, he wasn’t finding it that cold. He’d expected the weather in the Highlands to be biting, but it was only chilly. Having said that, it was September. He could only imagine what December would be like. Would the solar panels around the back even get any sun?
“Maybe it came from up there,” said Sean, pointing to the top of the steep hill that rose behind the cottage.
Ryan huffed. “You just want an excuse to climb it.”
“It’ll give us a cracking view, won’t it? If something crashed into the earth nearby, we’ll definitely see it from up there.”
“He has a point,” said Tom.
“No, he doesn’t,” said Brett. “It’s pitch-black. How much of a view do you expect to find?”
“Oh yeah.”
“We’d have more of a view than we have down here,” said Sean. “I’m going up.”
Loobey groaned. “Seriously? I don’t fancy climbing.”
“Stop blarting. It’ll be a piece of piss.”
Aaron pointed. “There are plenty of places to get a foothold. It shouldn’t be that hard.”
Ryan couldn’t
