I open the front door and rain wets my face. The light from the water fountain lights up the dark sky. Glancing up, the rain falls freely from the sky. The black pavement is beautiful. Memories of my mother barge into my mind. We had to do a lot of stuff behind Papa’s back because he wouldn’t allow her to have a lot of freedom. He hated we used to play in the rain and he would complain about us getting the floors wet. I miss Mama so much especially around her birthdays and holidays.
Devious stands there with his hands in his pockets staring outside. I want to keep her memory alive as much as possible, even though, Papa didn’t give two shits about her, it doesn’t mean I didn’t care about her.
“Oh, stop being such a baby, and get in the rain.” I say to him, tugging on his arm.
“Fine, but if I get sick, I’m bending you over my knee giving you a spanking.”
“You need to pick another form of punishment because I like spankings. You have to dance. Besides, germs make you sick, not rain.”
He grabs me by the waist pulling me close, like we were dancing at the restaurant the day of Enzo’s funeral. This time it is different. This time he is different. His blue eyes brighten and the cool drop of rain continues to lick our skin. It’s so beautiful. He’s so beautiful. Fear slithers in my bloodstream and doubt and fear makes its way into my brain. He’s still in love with Shelby and I don’t want to love him. I lie my head on his chest and he rests his chin on the top of my head. Being in this moment with Devious mean everything to me. He means everything to me.
“This is the most awkward shit I’ve ever done,” he says in my ear.
“Well get used to doing awkward shit with me for the rest of your life.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he says, and I smile at his words. I try not to think about the what if because our lifestyle is dangerous, and I know anything can happen to us. I want to find something wrong with our situation and why we can’t have a great love life. Devious tells me all the time Enzo and his wife were a happy couple. Very happy, and Nonno was happy with Nonna. It’s why Nonno tells me stories about how he loved her.
I stop, glance at Devious, his dark hair sticks to his forehead and the rain stops. My heart stops beating. He stops dancing, cups my cheeks, staring into my eyes.
“Do you still love her? Is it why you haven’t said it back?”
“Good way to kill the mood, Roselyn.” He takes a step back, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“I’m serious,” I say on his heel as we enter the house. Our clothes soak the floor and our shoes squeak. Devious starts to remove his shirt and pants, tossing them to the floor.
“Why the fuck do you think I’m still in love with Shelby?” Disgust butchers his words and he wrinkles the corner of his mouth.
“You didn’t say it back.” My voice grows louder.
“You didn’t say you love me. You said you think. ” He shoots back.
“Well? Do you love me?” I shoot him a glare. I’m not going to put my all into this relationship on the whim of him not loving me. Mama tried to win over Papa’s affection and I already followed in her footsteps of falling in love with someone who is abusive.
“Of course, I do. I started to fall in love with you when we were in Santorini.” My heart grows little wings and wants to fly away, but I try to school my features, hiding my excitement.
“Do you miss her?” I fold my arms across my chest, rocking back and forth on my heels.
“Yes. I was with her for thirteen years.”
His words sting. They really do. He shouldn’t miss someone who hurt him the way she did.
“If she was alive, who would you choose, me or her?” These questions feed into my insecurity, but I don’t care. I need to know he’s all mine.
“Are you jealous of a dead girl?” He lifts his eyebrow.
“Answer the question,” I snap.
He wrinkles his nose. “You. I will always choose you. ”
He stares at me with anger in his eyes and balls his fists, but keeps them to his side. “Why are you picking a fight with me? So you can have a reason to continue to book your flight to London?”
“What? How did you know about it? Why were you snooping through my stuff?”
“I wasn’t. I saw your email.”.
“You were going to leave me, that’s why I wanted you pregnant, Roselyn. So you can’t leave me. I’m scared you’re going to leave me any chance you get.”
“I did think about it, but I changed my mind because I wanted to be with you.” I exhale. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Gunshots rings from outside and Devious rushes me upstairs to a bedroom then he peaks out the window.
“Stay in this room, do not leave here until I say otherwise.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The Irish mob is attacking us.”
He leaves the room and I lock the door behind him.
Devious
THE FRONT DOOR FLIES OPEN, and Cashel’s soldiers’ burst through the door. I knew this day would come, but I didn’t expect it to happen so fast. Cashel comes into view, wearing his all green suit. His auburn hair is in a high ponytail and his green eyes burn with anger.
“Where is Maya?!” he screams at the top of his lungs.
I have my gun aimed at him and he doesn’t flinch or move. My heart beats rapidly.
“She’s in good hands at the moment. Getting fucked by one of my biggest clients,” I lie, smirking.
He grinds his teeth and his face turns the color of blood as he grabs his gun, aims it at me, and starts firing shots. I
