I reach over to the desk, giving her a stack of divorce papers.
“I’m not going to leave you broke. I’m giving you five thousand dollars a week for the rest of your life and I’ll still cover your Nonno’s medical bills and expenses until he passes away.”
“No, Devious. Please don’t do this.” Tears run down her cheeks and my eyes water, and I wipe them away.
“You need to live your life the way you want to and not tied down to someone like me. I can’t give you what you want.”
“You’re what I want. I don’t care about my freedom; I don’t care about my dreams. All I want is you.”
We’re silent for a while and she stares at me with fear in her eyes.
“You’re a bird who wants to spread your wings and fly and I’m the monster who wants to rip your wings so you can’t fly.”
She wraps her arms around my shoulders, and I accept her embrace, resting my chin on top of her head.
“I want the good and the ugly of you Devious. I don’t want you to change. I know what kind of man you are and I’m okay with it. Please, don’t break my heart.” I shed one single tear and it fell down on her hair.
Her tears wet my shirt and we stand like this for what seems like forever. Closing my eyes, I inhale deeply. She smells like brown sugar and cherries. My favorite smell. She breaks from our embrace.
“Be free Roselyn. Do what you love. And if you don’t fall in love with anyone else, you can come back to me,” I tell her. She stares at the divorce papers and I kiss her forehead. “I used to say love is the final form of forgiveness but it’s not. Letting go of the person you love, to give them what they want is love. Holding onto you is not love.” I lean down, kiss her long and hard, then I pull away. “Goodbye, Roselyn.”
Roselyn
I stand there in shock, tears falling down my cheeks. Devious leaves me alone with the divorce papers. I grab the divorce papers and run my finger on the cool paper as my tears dampen the black ink of his name. This is not fair. Life’s not fair. He wants to let me go, but I don’t want to be free from his cage. I want to be his little bird. Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I dial Marla’s phone number and she picks it up in the third ring. She’s the only friend I can call on and I know she’s Devious cousin, but I need someone to talk to. She doesn’t owe me any loyalty.
“Hello?”
“Can you come pick me up?” My voice breaks. “I need a place to stay.”
“What do you mean?” I hear her turn down the music in the background.
I try to find the words to articulate what I’m trying to say but my mind draws a blank. “Please. Come get me.”
I tap the red button and rush to our bedroom. I go to the walk-in closet and toss clothes onto the suitcase. I can’t believe Devious would do this to me—to us. After everything we shared. After everything we have been through. Our relationship was toxic, but there was still love. My chest aches as my hands tremble like leaves on a tree.
An hour later, Marla strolls into the bedroom and she gives me a hug.
“What happened?” She wraps her arms around my waist, using her thumb to wipe away my tears.
“Devious broke up with me. He wanted to make sure I want to be with him.”
“I’m sorry, Roselyn. I think he’s scared you’re going to end up hating him for trying to keep you with him.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” I say, using the back of my hand to wipe my tears. I fell in love with the devil. It doesn’t matter to me who he was because I saw the real him. Not the just evil side, but the good side.
“I need a place to stay. Can I crash at yours until I find mine my own place?”
“Of course.”
I drag my suitcase behind me and we make it to the living room. Devious paces back and forth with one hand rubbing his forehead and the other holding his cellphone. His eyes meet mines, and we stare at each other, with unspoken words between us. I try to study every inch of his face. Remembering who I fell in love with. Sorrow laces his face as he frowns, and Marla says something to him in Italian and he responds back.
“I’ll be in the car,” I tell her as I go to the garage, then I dump my suitcases into her black Mercedes. As I climb into the seat, I strap my seatbelt over my body. Exhaling, I allow my tears flow down my cheek freely. Twenty minutes later, Marla gets into the drivers and puts the car in gear, driving off into traffic. Rain sprinkles on the windshield.
“You know what we need to do?” She clicks her blinker, getting into a turning lane.
“What?” I ask, not taking my eyes off the road.
“We should travel the world together.”
“Why out of the blue you want to travel?”
“I think since you’re divorcing Devious, then it would be a good idea to follow up on your dreams.” She taps her black paint nails on the steering wheel. “Plus, Devious encouraged me to convince you to do it. He wants you to be happy.”
I don’t want to follow up on my dreams because I don’t want it without him. If I had known love would be like this, I would
