Mateo.
He’s standing beside the officiant, back straight, hands clasped in front of him, head held high, in a gorgeous tuxedo. And he’s grinning, bright white teeth against golden skin, grinning like I’ve never seen him.
This man takes my breath away. He already owns my heart, I don’t need the air. He’s everything I need. Love, breath, life. He’s standing there, watching me and I’m watching him, pulled toward him like gravity and it’s everything I dreamed it would be and more.
I barely notice Claudia, Gemma and Jocelyn smiling and sniffling to one side of him, nor do I see Mateo’s groomsmen, Alberto and Warren, not even when Josh leaves me to stand beside them.
All I can do is gaze into Mateo’s dark, shining eyes and feel every ounce of blood in my veins throb with big, real love.
“We have gathered here today,” the officiant says in English. “To bear witness of the love between Mateo Casalles and Vera Miles, to see God bring them together in holy matrimony.” He goes on before switching to Spanish and repeating the same thing all over again for the Spanish speakers in the crowd.
I’m not listening. Mateo isn’t either. He’s holding onto my hands, staring into my soul and making a home there. I’m nervous, shaking a bit, afraid to look at the crowd, worried how I might look, wary of the cameras that click away and yet his eyes hold me in place. They soothe my fears. They fill me with love until the world fades away.
It’s like this for the whole ceremony. I know the minister makes a few jokes, people laugh, Mateo and I smile in response, but really we’re smiling at each other at how lucky we are to be here.
And then it comes time for the vows. We wrote our own and I’m so nervous I can barely remember mine. Thankfully mine are short, for this very reason, though I have no idea what Mateo’s will be.
I clear my throat, it feels thick and muddled, and square my shoulders.
“Mateo,” I tell him, my voice quivering. “When I first came up with the idea that we should do our own vows, I regretted it moments later. Because I knew that no matter what I said to you, it could never express the way that I really feel. It could never tell you what you truly mean to me. And, well, I knew you’d come up with something a million times better.” I grin and pause and as I had hoped there are a few chuckles from the crowd. Everyone who knows Mateo knows what an emotional, sensitive and romantic man he is. I’ve got nothing on him.
Still, I continue. “So I’ll only say that I love you, more than I can ever tell you or show you, more than I can even understand. It’s this love for you that governs every thing I do, every thought I have. It controls me, moves me, in the best possible way. Because I’m beyond lucky to love you and have your love and I promise that no matter what happens, through good times and bad, I will do whatever I can to be the best wife I can be, to honor our love and commitment. You’re mine and I am yours and nothing will ever change that.”
Beside me I can hear Claudia sniffing loudly and I try and drown the noises out of my thoughts because I’m close to crying, my voice nearly breaking up over those last words. Jeez, this whole vow thing was harder than I thought it would be. I’m not the best at public speaking but at least I managed to say everything I meant to.
“Vera,” Mateo says, watery-eyed, and just my name on his lips nearly makes me crumble to my knees. He holds my hands tighter, strength and warmth flowing through me. He clears his throat. “Vera, I also feared this vows, mainly because I would have to say them in English and we both know how things get…lost in translation sometimes.” He looks briefly to the crowd. “One of my very first English lessons with her was to learn that getting buzzed had nothing to do with bees.” The audience titters at that and even I giggle at the flashback.
“But I decided it would only make my English stronger, to stand up here in front of friends and family and tell the world how much you mean to me. And to tell you, because even though I know that you know how I feel, it can’t hurt to hear it again.” He takes in a deep breath, his eyes latching onto mine again. “Vera Miles, from the moment I first saw you I knew that we were fated to belong together. It was never something I understood before that moment, the concept of fate, that there was something written in the stars. But then I looked at you, into your eyes like I’m doing right now, and I saw the stars. I saw us in them. I saw a whole future I never thought possible. And throughout the ups and downs, the endless challenges, the setbacks and fears, I never stopped thinking about that, believing in it as I believed in my love for you. That we are meant to be. That thought alone got me through many trying times, as you can imagine, yes?”
I nod, the tears welling in my eyes already and threatening to spill over.
He continues. “But I’ve come to realize lately that it is more than just a love written in the stars. Our love is the stars and beyond. It’s the universe and galaxies and the endless eternal. You see, the way I feel for you Vera is big. A love so big that it humbles me. A love too large for our hearts to contain, a love that exists beyond this world, out in the stars. We are
