Stunned silence came from the other end of the phone. "Well, that's because it's not."
"It is," I wailed. "It's real, it's so real, and apparently it's a misogynistic curse that's only easy and obvious for the men in this family, and I'm freaking out, and he has a girlfriend, Mom."
"Okay, okay, take a deep breath, please. No panic attacks when I'm a thousand miles away and can't help you."
At her soothing tone, I did as she asked. In through the nose, out through the mouth.
"Good," she said. "One more, Grace."
The last one came out on a gusty sigh, and I heard her laugh.
"Tell me what's going on, baby."
The red book stared up at me, the only piece of something keeping me from rocking in the corner. I felt the overwhelming urge to grab it again, rub my fingers over the cover like a talisman, to see if it would bring order to my disorderly thoughts.
Then I told her everything.
I told her about my arrival into Green Valley, and meeting Tucker, the festival planning, the hike, and then meeting his girlfriend. His stunning, southern belle girlfriend who looked perfect in pink. It came out in choppy sentences and messy rambles, but she listened to all of it without judgment. When I finished telling her about the journals, and Rose, she sucked in a deep breath, then let it out, almost like she was breathing through her own panic attack.
"Damn."
I laughed. "Right?"
"And he calls you Angry Girl?" I heard her smile through the phone, loud and clear.
"He does." My chest hurt thinking about it. It hurt because I wanted nothing more than to hear him say it, because he wasn't afraid to call me that, he wasn't afraid to call me on how unforgivably, unspeakably rude I was to him the first time I met him.
"Oh, honey. I wish I could help you more, but I'm not exactly sure how, you know? Your father and I were not some fated, perfect match. There was no love at first sight magic with us. We were just … two people who never should've gotten married." She sighed. "So, if what you're saying is true, it wasn't true for me and your father."
And I knew that. They didn't hate each other, there was no ill-will or horrible fighting. There was apathy. The inexorable knowledge that they were far, far better apart than they'd ever been together. Which did not help me, as I tried to wrap my head around what I did or didn't feel for Tucker.
"I know, Mom."
She cleared her throat. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but have you talked to your cousins? Or your uncle? They certainly seem to … buy in, so to speak."
"Uncle Robert and Aunt Fran are in Nashville, but I could ask Connor or Levi."
"You know that I struggle to believe that any of this has a basis in reality, but even if they can help you make sense of it, maybe you should try."
I sank back in the chair and pulled my legs up to my chest. "Yeah, maybe I will. I have to talk to someone about this before I meet with Tucker tomorrow."
"Let me know what happens, okay?"
"I will," I promised.
"I love you, Grace. And I miss you."
I closed my eyes, wishing desperately that she was still a forty-minute drive away from me, so I could curl up on her couch and talk this out. "Miss you too, Mom. I'll call you later."
"And tell your brother thanks a lot for letting me know he made it in one piece," she added.
I was smiling when I hung up, which was probably her intention. But the smile didn't last long, because I had a feeling that my cousin Levi would only affirm what I already knew.
I was so incredibly screwed.
With the time difference, it was probably just past dinner time where he lived with his girlfriend Joss in Seattle. As a trainer for the Washington Wolves, Levi worked crazy hours during the season, but he'd probably be done by now.
Hopefully.
Tapping out a text, I didn't even care how dramatic I sounded.
Me: This is a "911, you better answer your cousin because she's about to lose her mind and you're the only one who can help her" kind of call.
It went through to his phone, and within five seconds, he started calling me.
I breathed a sigh of relief and answered. "Hi. Thank you. I'm hanging up and switching to FaceTime because I need eyeball to eyeball for this."
"Ohhhhkay then," he said.
When we reconnected, he was smiling into the camera. Levi could have been tossed in with me and Grady as a triplet. We had the same tawny colored hair and goldish green hazel eyes, the same wide smile. But at the sight of my face, his smile dropped. "Green Valley not treating you well?"
"Tell me about this stupid curse."
Understanding softened his face. "Ahh. I see."
"Did you know that there's only been one other Buchanan woman born in the last five generations besides me? Did you know that?"
He scratched the side of his face. "Ah, no. I didn't. I thought you were the only one."
"Yeah, well, there was. And she had to deal with the same bullshit that I've been dealing with since I got to this bullshit town with its bullshit family love curses."
Levi's mouth curled up. "Love at first sight isn't so fun, is it?"
"Ha," I burst out harshly. "Oh, get this … Buchanan women? AKA Me and Miss Rose Margaret, we have hate at first sight. Hate!"
His eyebrows bent in a confused 'V'. "Seriously?"
"Seriously."
I told him the story. He listened carefully, with hums of sympathy and surprised widening of the eyes and a grimace when he put two and two together about Tucker and Magnolia.
"Yeah, they've been together forever. Since the summer before senior year of high school, I think."
"Great," I muttered.
"And your dad works for Bobby Jo, doesn't he?"
"Sure does."
Levi whistled. "You've got a mess on your hands, that's for damn
