I scrubbed a hand over my face. "Thanks for the reminder. You're supposed to be helping me figure out what to do with this … feeling."
He tipped his head back and laughed. "Honestly, Grace, all I can tell you is that there isn't a rule book to figuring it out. All of us have had different experiences with this one issue. Some relationships take longer than others. Connor and my parents, it was fast for both of them."
"Assholes. They don't even know our struggle."
He grinned. "They don't. But, look at me and Joss, she wasn't anywhere near ready to be with anybody when we met." He shrugged. "So I waited until she was."
This was the part I knew. They were best friends for five years. Five years of him loving her, while he waited for her to be ready for a relationship. That ache was back in my chest, and I wanted to tear it out. Because it was the ache of longing, of the unknown, of feeling like something was missing behind my heart.
"I'll tell you this though," he continued. "Joss said something right after we moved here, when I told her about the curse, and I think there's some truth to it."
"What's that?"
"Well, she made some comment about how maybe it's a Green Valley thing. Any Buchanan who's met their perfect match, they've met that person in town. And people like your parents …"
"They met elsewhere," I mused. It certainly made sense. In a completely nonsensical way. "What about Hunter?"
Hunter was Levi's oldest brother. I didn't know him well, because he was about ten years older than I was, and he'd lived in Seattle with his wife for the last decade. The wife he didn't meet in Green Valley.
"Oh no, my brother's relationship woes are for another time. We're talking about you and Tucker right now."
"There is no me and Tucker," I pointed out.
My cousin sighed, staring hard at me through the camera. "Grace, I wish I could tell you that falling in love with someone the way we seem to is easy, that all the pieces fall into place like they were destined. But it doesn't always happen that way. My experience with Joss was different, but if I could give you any advice, I'd tell you to just … get to know him. Befriend him. Because if he's the man you're meant to end up with, you'll have to get to know him anyway. And if you don't end up with him …" his voice trailed off.
"If I don't, that's probably why it's called a curse, and not a blessing," I said glumly.
Levi didn't say anything, but the look on his face was sad, and I hated that. It itched uncomfortably, that pity coming from him.
After another moment of silence, he agreed with a slow nod. "Probably."
A text banner scrolled down, briefly obscuring the top of Levi's head.
Unknown number: Hey, it's Tucker. If you've still got time tomorrow, would you be able to meet in the morning? I just had a meeting cancel at eight thirty. We could meet at the fairgrounds for inspiration. I'll text you the address if that time works.
Unknown number: I hope you're feeling better.
"How am I supposed to do this?" I whispered. It wasn't necessarily aimed at Levi. Just a general question for the universe about how the hell I was supposed to navigate his presence in my life while I felt like this. And not just that, while I felt like this and he had a serious girlfriend.
"I don't know," Levi answered. "You've always sucked at hiding your feelings, haven't you?"
Helplessly, I laughed. "Thanks a lot."
He wasn't wrong though. Take my very first encounter with Tucker as a perfect example. My emotions had always been big, bigger than most people's. They'd drown me easily if I allowed them to. And the feelings for Tucker Haywood? It was everything I could do to keep a white-knuckled hold of the life preserver.
And tomorrow morning, on an empty fairground, I'd be completely alone with him.
"Befriend him, huh?" I asked.
Levi shrugged. "Maybe it's shitty advice, but it's all I've got."
I said my goodbyes to Levi and stared at the texts from Tucker.
Very carefully, I added his contact information to my phone, under the initials T.A.H.
For some arbitrary reason, I didn't want to see his name pop up every time he sent me a message. Separating him from his name, even on my phone, felt like a small step in retaining my hold on the reality of our situation. I took a deep breath and messaged him back.
Me: Feeling better, thank you. I'll be there at eight thirty.
T.A.H.: Great. I'll bring the coffee. If you like it any other way than black, you're on your own.
"I can do this," I told myself. Then I leaned over and closed up the box at my feet, leaving Rose and her red-covered book in the piles of dust.
I heard heavy steps on the unfolded ladder that I’d climbed to get up there.
Grady popped his head into the opening of the attic. “Talking to yourself?”
I sighed. “A little bit.”
“You okay?”
My head and my heart wanted to give different answers to that question. My brother must have seen something on my face that he didn’t like, because he grimaced.
“Come on, let’s go.”
“Where?” I asked, standing carefully so that I didn’t smack my head on the low ceiling.
“Connor just called, asked if we wanted to meet him and Sylvia at the community center.”
My tortured groan made him laugh.
“What’s wrong with that?”
I stepped over a box and peered at the contents, my eye catching on an antique picture frame that I grabbed so I could hang it in the apartment. The rough edges would be perfect for a picture I need to hang. “That place didn’t treat me well the first time. I walked in the door and found myself volunteered to make out with half of Green Valley.”
“Ohhhhkay. Well, there’s some fundraiser happening. We missed the spaghetti dinner, but some band
