“And you? How are you doing with everything that has been going on?” He asked gently. I looked around the room, but we were the only ones in there, everyone else in the kitchen talking and laughing loudly.
“I don’t know Xander.” I sighed, feeling able to open up with him. “Okay I guess, all things considered. I thought seeing him again would break me, but it didn’t. I mean, yes, I froze up a little, but I fought when he grabbed me, and I got away this time, thanks to Keira, so I guess in a way I feel stronger and more confident, but…..” I hesitated as I looked up to him. He smiled softly, encouraging me to go on, and I knew I could. I felt able to spill my worries with Xander because he wouldn’t take them as hard as the guys would. They would just be worried sick about me if they knew the full extent of my fears. They’d go into over-protective over-drive and stress themselves out beyond recognition. I knew Xander could be more level headed. “I’m scared….terrified he’ll find a way to grab me and take me back. I don’t think I could survive that again Xander. Yes I’m stronger now, but to be torn from here, from the guys, from the family….from you, it would destroy me before The Shadow even began his torture and abuse. I’m only stronger now because of all of you. Without this family I’d just be that petrified nine year old again.” Tears were running silently down my cheeks as I spoke and I had to fight hard not to let the deep sobbing rise from within.
“I don’t believe that sweetheart. You are stronger now because you found a way to turn what happened to you into this amazing strength. Yes, the support of this family has made you feel braver and gives you confidence, but your strength is within you and whenever you need it, it will always be there.” He pulled me into a hug and held me close as I tried to rein in the tears. “We are doing all we can to keep you safe Livy. We will all do everything in our power to see he doesn’t ever get his hands on you again, but if anything ever happened, then you should know, Sweetheart, my parents, the guys and I would never ever stop searching for you. We would tear this state, this country…...fuck, the whole damn world if need be, apart until you were back safe with us where you belong. My brothers love you, and they will always come for you, as will I.”
“I know.” I whimpered as I sat up and fought to pull myself together. I knew he was right, my guys would never stop looking for me, as I would them if roles were reversed. My fear though was, that if I were taken and abused as I was before, there likely wouldn’t be very much of me left for the guys to find by the time they got to me, if they ever did. There were only so many times a person could be shattered, and be able retain some part of themself intact.
“Thank you for always being here when I need you.” I said instead, not wanting to talk to Xander anymore about the terrifying ‘what-ifs’. As he had said, they were all doing all they could to protect me, and I was being extremely cautious too. It was all we could do, and we just had to hope it was enough until The Shadow was caught.
“No thanks necessary. I’m always going to be here for you Livy. The guys may have claimed you as theirs, but I found you first.” He joked, making me smile through my tears. “We’re family Sweetheart, and no matter what, you can always come to me.” I sat beside him on the sofa, facing him, him holding my upper arms as he looked down and spoke with such sincerity. It was overwhelming, and I was an emotional wreck by the time he finished his kind words with a kiss on my forehead.
“I’m here for you too Xander. I love you.” I eventually squeaked out through the blubbering mess I had descended into. We embraced and I felt so warm and loved, there with him. He had been the first person to make me feel even an iota of safety the day I escaped. He’d saved me from loneliness and brought me the most amazing family. I owed him everything, and he would always hold a very special place in my heart.
“Everything okay?” Kade’s voice pulled me from my thoughts and I sat up to find him watching us from the doorway.
“Fine.” I smiled to try and reassure him, but he wasn’t having it.
“You’ve been crying?” He pushed.
“I’m fine, really.”
“She’s ok Kade. Breathe, man. We were just having a lovely Hallmark moment before you interrupted.” Xander added.
“Oh, ok. Sorry.” He sighed, dropping some of the stress that had made his face tense when he entered, and replacing it with a smile. “It’s just Mom and Dad want Livy out front.”
“Out front? Like outside?” I asked, confused.
“Yeah.”
“Why? What’s going on?” I stood and moved for the window, but Kade stopped me, walking across to me and stilling me with hands around my waist.
“Just come out and see for yourself Love, please?” He said into my ear, and the sensation of his warm breath on my ear had me shivering and breaking out in goosebumps.
“Come on Livy. Let’s go see what’s going on.” Xander said as he stood and headed out of the room. We followed him to the entry, where we all pulled on shoes and coats, then Kade took my hand and led me out onto the lightly snow covered drive
