“Can we…..are we done for today?” She sniffled after a while.
“Yeah Liv, we’re done, and I’m working tonight so we won’t train tomorrow, ok?”
“You’re working all night?” She asked, those huge eyes looking up at me with a little worry. I felt it too. It would be the first time since she got home from the hospital that I was working overnight. I had returned to my security job three weeks ago, but only during the day, needing to be close at night, when Liv tended to have the worst panic attacks after nightmares. We took it in turns to be with her, so I didn't always go to her when she was bad, because the others were with her, but it helped me to know I was close if she needed me.
But a talk with my boss, Rob about it all, about my relationship and my fears for her safety had set me right. He had told me that I needed to get back to normal, not just for my sake, but for hers too. He told me how hard it had been for him and his wife, Lucy, after she had been taken and hurt by her ex-husband, and how at first, he had smothered her, so scared she would disappear again. It was exactly what I was doing with Liv, too afraid to ever be further than a few rooms from her. Even when I had been at work, I had bombarded her, and the guys, with texts checking on her.
Rob explained how his smothering had almost cost him everything when Lucy couldn’t handle how overbearing he became, and started pushing him away. I did not want that to happen and knew I needed to find a way to ease off, at least a little. Diving back into my job, which I loved, seemed like the best way.
“Yeah, I have a job that will likely go all night, and into tomorrow.”
“Oh, ok. You’ll be careful though, won’t you?” She almost pleaded, her eyes filled with panic.
“I always am, Baby. You don’t need to worry.” I placed a kiss on her forehead to cement my words. I wanted to kiss her lips, but we hadn't kissed properly yet. I knew that was mostly my fault. I had been standoffish, not wanting her to rush after everything she had been through, and also still worried that I was nowhere near good enough for her. I just couldn’t get past the thought that being close to me would only bring her pain, and I hated that thought. I had to protect her at all costs, even if it was from myself, but it was killing me to stay away. All I wanted was to take her in my arms and claim her as mine, just as the others had.
“I’m always going to worry, but I know you’re good at what you do. I have faith in you.” She looked up at me, and all I could feel was the throbbing in my shorts and the heart thumping need to kiss her.
“Good,” I stepped back, needing space. I crossed the room and started moving the free weights back onto the mat. I had cleared them to make space for us to train. “Kade has promised to be home tonight, and Cole and Maat too. That said I will have my cell at all times, so if you need me, you call and I’ll be here, yeah?”
“I’ll be fine Kyle.” She said with a smile, but I could see her fidgeting, moving from one foot to the other. She looked confused, and maybe a little hurt that I had run from the moment we were having. I hated knowing I was doing that to her, but the truth was, she may be ready, but I just wasn’t.
“Go ahead and get cleaned up. I’ll meet you in the kitchen for lunch, then I’ll be heading out.” I said as I continued to work busily moving free weights.
“O….Ok.” She nodded, then hurried from the gym without another look my way. Fuck, I was such as asshole!
OLIVIA
The rest of the day was uneventful. We all ate lunch together, minus Kade, who, as usual, was working.
After we all helped clean up, Kyle headed off to work with another awkward kiss on my head, and the guys headed off to finish the semester’s assignments. I knew I should be working too, but I just didn’t have it in me that day. I had spent the last month working my ass off to get through the eleventh grade online course. I had spent long hours reading, researching, and writing assignment after assignment, in order to catch up to where Cole and Matt were, and I was getting close. It was important for me that I was at the educational level I should be for my age. I had been determined not to stay behind, and I was getting there, except for biology, which seemed to be a subject I would never really get a handle on. Luckily Cole nailed the subject, and helped me a lot with it.
Sulking, like a child over Kyle’s rejection, I moped into the office and sat behind the desk, daydreaming out of the window, and trying to decide what was going on with the stubborn man who was holding back from me.
I just didn’t get it. Kyle told me constantly that he loved me. He had no trouble holding me at night, laid beside me in bed, or hugging me in his lap in front of everyone. I saw the way he looked at me, especially when we trained, saw the lust in his eyes when he looked me up and down, just as the
