“I care about you, Nick. I’d never want to do anything to hurt you…” She pulled her hand back, her face going into her palm. “Everything is so messed up.” Her voice cracked as she whispered the words.
I touched her shoulder, and she looked back up at me, a hint of tears in her eyes. “What’s messed—”
Without warning, she pushed up on her toes, her hands cupping my face, and lips meeting mine. My body filled with warmth, then fire, raging through me like she’d lit a match. The sound of the crashing waves and the whipping wind created a vortex—only room for the two of us inside. Nothing else mattered. No one else existed. Time disappeared.
She wrapped her arms around me further, and I pulled her into me, expelling a moan laden with emotion. How long had I waited for this moment to come again? How long had I hoped it would?
She stepped back, and I pushed her against the palm tree, my hands sliding under her shirt. The warmth of her skin under my palms sent lightning throughout my body.
Was any of it real? Was it truly happening? Her fingers laced through my hair, tugging at it playfully as she nipped at my lips. There was so much unexplored passion between us, so much unsaid. Her hands went to the waistband of my sweatpants, and my heart galloped in my chest. There was no going back.
This was happening. I lifted her up against the tree as her legs wrapped around me. I wanted it to last forever. I wanted this moment to be how I spent the rest of my life. I couldn’t move fast or slow enough. Couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.
It was bad, but so good.
It shouldn’t happen, but I’d die before I stopped it.
I loved her.
I’d always loved her.
Her hands gripped my back, and I wondered if she felt the same. In that moment, nothing mattered.
Nothing but her.
Me.
The two of us. Moving together. Our bodies melding as one; years of love, desire, and passion between us taking shape.
And then, minutes later and all too soon, it ended. We fell apart, gasping for breath, our skin slick with sweat.
Like a douse of cold water, she stepped away from me, pulling on the shorts I’d stripped away. I adjusted my own pants, trying to slow my racing heart as I figured out what to say. What to do. The reality of what we’d done sat evident on her face. There was so much being said in the silence between us.
She put a hand to her lips, taking a step back. “Oh my God. What did we do? I’m so sorry, Nick…”
I reached for her hand, but she jerked it away. “Sorry? No. Don’t be. We should talk—”
Before I could finish a sentence, more tears filled her eyes, and she shook her head. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I have to go. I’m sorry.” She pushed away from me, sand flying up behind her as she ran away, disappearing in the darkness, just a glint of moonlight across the sand and then she was gone. The rain began to fall faster, harder. As if it had held off just for us.
I sighed, lifting my hands to my own lips. Was I even sure I was awake? Had it really happened? I was tempted to throw myself in the ocean to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. Let the cool water confirm what I knew—that I’d gotten what I’d wanted for so long. And that it may have ruined everything.
Instead, I sighed, confused as hell, and began to walk back toward my hut. I should’ve gone after her, forced her to talk to me. But what was there to say? And what if whatever she had to say would only hurt worse?
I shook my head, forcing myself to keep moving. When I reached the stairs of the hut and looked up, I froze.
No.
I squinted, but the flash of white I’d seen in the doorway—the blonde hair—was gone. I hurried up the sand-covered stairs, not sure what to say or do or believe or think. It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be. How would I ever explain this?
When I reached the door, I took a deep breath, counting one, two, three, and slid it open. The sliding glass door felt heavier than I remembered, and I let out a sigh as I realized Megan was still in bed. The sheet rose and fell with her steady breaths. I’d imagined it. Imagined her. She hadn’t been at the door. Watching me. Watching Laura run away. She’d been asleep. I was safe. No longer innocent, no longer faithful, but safe.
I swallowed, the weight of what had happened crashing down on me. The weight of what I’d almost lost. I moved toward the bed slowly, taking steady steps. My breaths were too loud, coming out distraught and haggard. I lifted the sheet gently, one inch at a time, then eased myself in next to her, every move calculated and thought out. Would this be the one to wake her? Finally, I let the sheet cover me, another breath escaping my throat as I listened for her to make a noise.
If she moved, I’d apologize.
If she’d seen, I’d grovel.
If she was, by some miracle, still asleep, I’d gotten way too lucky.
Chapter Eighteen
Andy
How mad at me could she have been? What had I done that was so wrong? I walked along the beach, my legs soaked with the cool water from the tide. Wherever she was, she was avoiding me. That much was obvious. So, it had to be my fault. Something I’d said. Something I’d done. Something the women had said about me.
Was it possible they’d do that to hurt me? I didn’t want to believe it. Try as they might to annoy me, I had to
