Why weren’t they doing the same for me?
Why didn’t they like Emily?
I wiped a hand across my face as a raindrop hit it. The wind had picked up, whipping my clothes wildly. Wherever she was, she needed to come home. I was starting to worry. I’d been walking back and forth between the relaxation center, checking the spa, the library, the theater, the gym, the kitchen, and then back to our hut.
Manu told me the forest was too dangerous to walk at night when we couldn’t see the path, but if she didn’t turn up soon, I was going in there. I wouldn’t leave her. I couldn’t. Whatever I’d done, I’d make it up to her.
I heard something in the distance, and I looked left. The shape of someone moving near a clump of palm trees caught my attention. I froze, watching carefully and trying to make out where the noise was coming from. Who is that? “Em—” I stopped when I realized it wasn’t Emily. But there was a woman…
I could see the flash of white in the clump of palm trees, different than the first glimpse I’d seen. Two people. What the…? I heard her voice on the wind, when it wasn’t blowing fast enough to drown out all other sounds. What is she—
I stopped in my tracks, refusing to walk a step further. It wasn’t possible.
No.
Nick’s hands were wrapped around Laura’s legs, holding her up, her back against a tree. I squinted my eyes, sure I was seeing wrong, but even in the moonlight, I could see the embrace. The kiss. Her head to the left, his to the right. Upon further inspection, I noticed the clothing strewn about in a heap on the sand.
No.
My heart sank, my breathing catching in my throat. How would I ever tell Brad? How could Nick have lied to me? How could this be happening?
I sucked in a sharp breath and walked away, torn between wanting to stop them, wanting to get the image out of my mind immediately, and wanting to get away as quickly as I could before they could see me. The stress of the situation had my heart pounding. I was angry, confused. Everything I thought I knew was called into question. Nick had just told me a few hours earlier that he was over Laura, so why would he lie? And how could he look Brad in the face knowing the lie would destroy his world?
I took a step further, toward the water. I should’ve said something, confronted them, but what was there to say?
I needed to do something, but who should I go to first?
Nick, to be lied to again?
Laura, to demand the truth?
Brad, because he was my best friend?
I couldn’t catch my breath, my head pounding with impossible options as I pushed forward, walking along the shore and kicking sand as I went. It was a mistake to come. To bring these people. Emily and I were falling apart, and now this? Now I’d have to break my best friend’s heart? Should I wait for the vacation to end? To say anything now would ruin the trip for everyone. But to wait would ruin it for me. I’d never lied to Brad—about anything—and I didn’t want to start now.
As the wind picked up again, new rain droplets hitting my face, I caught a glimpse of someone moving up by the huts. Several yards away and in the dark, I couldn’t make them out, but I knew it had to be Laura as she ran past where Nick’s hut was. I needed to talk to her. I had to know the truth. She had to know I knew she’d been lying.
I picked up my pace, moving toward her quickly. “Hey!” I yelled, keeping my voice low. I didn’t want to wake everyone up, but with the noise of the wind and the crashing water, she couldn’t hear me. I moved faster, but I’d lost her; she’d ducked into the shadows of the huts. Maybe to the safety inside.
Had she seen me? Did she know? Was that why they broke apart? I spun around, looking for Nick. If they knew what I’d seen, what would they do? As I spun, something in the water caught my eye.
Something moving in the water.
No, not moving.
Floating.
I swallowed, stepping closer. Was it a fish? It was too large.
The dark mass floated toward me, just an unreflective bump in a sea of white ripples, rising and falling with the tide.
My throat went tight as I moved forward, letting the water meet my ankles and then my knees.
No.
As it grew closer, it was unmistakable. I reached for her, touching the hair I’d once loved to see piled atop her head. The hair I’d played with when she laid in my lap. I gripped her arm, staring at the hand I’d held in the car. The air around me felt like it had turned to Jell-O, as if everything was happening in slow motion. My vision blurred, my thoughts jumbled. The cries escaping my throat were animal-like as I pulled her to me. I flipped her over, staring at her face in the moonlight.
No.
“Emily, please, no. No. Emily?” I patted her face, shaking her. Trying to press my lips to hers in the ever-moving water. Another scream escaped my throat as I dragged her to shore, my body shaking, fighting against the current and the waves and the growing storm around and within me. Nothing felt real. It was a nightmare come to fruition. It wasn’t possible. We weren’t moving. I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save myself.
It wasn’t possible. I wanted to let go. To drift out to sea with her.
No. I couldn’t give up. There was still a chance.
“Emily!” I screamed, the sound of the ocean soaking up my voice like a sponge.
No one could hear me.
No one
