“I don’t know…” I said finally, applying sunscreen to my forearms to stay busy.
“You’d know,” she pressed, putting a hand on my arm to stop me. “If she loved you back, you’d know.”
I looked up at her, our eyes locked. A moment in time, a moment of truth. “Yes,” I choked out, the word almost silent on my breath. “At one time, she did. It was brief. Fleeting. Before they were married. Brad had gone to Haiti for two years with his company. They were building a well, or a water treatment site, something… It never should’ve happened. Laura and I were still in school, and she was lonely. It was a mistake.” I swallowed. It felt so good to finally speak about the secret I’d kept to myself for so long. “When he came home, we broke it off. We haven’t spoken about it since. It doesn’t matter anymore. It was a lifetime ago.”
She watched me, her eyes darting between mine as I spoke, soaking up every word I said. When she didn’t react right away, I added. “You can never tell anyone. Please. Laura would never forgive me if she knew I’d told you. If it got back to Brad, it would destroy her.”
Megan nodded seriously, taking the vow. “I’d never tell a soul, Nicky. You know you can trust me.” She leaned forward, pressing her lips to my cheek. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”
“Are you mad?” My throat was incredibly dry as I waited for the answer.
“Of course not. I wish you’d told me, of course, but it was before our time. I don’t have any right to be mad. I just want to know everything about you. And Laura is part of your story. I know that, and I appreciate it. I appreciate her not choosing you, so I could have a shot.” When she smiled, I saw the hint of sadness, and I felt my chest tighten. I hated this. “I love you with every part of my being, and I know you love me back. I will always be here for you, unless you ask me not to be or give me a reason not to be.” She squeezed my hand, then moved to rub my sunscreen in, putting it on my shoulders and the back of my neck. “As long as you are honest and you still want to be with me, I’m here.”
I swallowed, closing my eyes. What did I want anymore? Truth was, I had no idea.
Laura.
I wanted Laura found. I wanted Laura safe.
Anything other than that could wait.
The rubbing stopped, and my eyes shot open. “You do still want me here, don’t you?” She leaned around to look at me.
I took her hand in mine, kissing her fingertips, the taste of the sunscreen on my lips. “You’re the best thing in my life.” It wasn’t an answer, but I didn’t think she wanted to hear the one I would’ve given her if pressed. In that moment, with Laura missing and the truth of what had happened between us all those years ago hanging in the air, all I wanted was the one woman I could never have.
I wanted to tell her the truth—that I’d never stopped loving her, never stopped wanting her. I wanted to scoop her in my arms and never let her go. I wanted to burn our lives to the ground, who cared about the casualties, and start fresh. I wanted to love her the way I always had without having to hide it anymore.
“It’s okay,” she said, a new tear in her once-dry eye as she twisted her mouth to avoid crying. “Laura was your best friend. I know how scared you must be and how confusing it must be for you.”
I froze, my body stiff with fear as I dropped her hand. “Was?”
“Huh?”
“You said was. Past tense.” The blood in my veins was suddenly icy. “Megan, do you know something about Laura?”
A smile played on the edge of her lips. “What are you talking about, crazy? Of course I don’t.”
“Why would you say it like that?” I took a step backward, toward the door, and she followed.
“Like what?”
“Was? You said she was my best friend. Not is.”
“Nicky, you’re acting crazy,” she said, a dry laugh in her words. “Laura is your best friend, of course. I just misspoke. Wasn’t it you that said earlier how I’m your best friend now? I didn’t mean anything by it.” There was a pregnant pause while she waited for me to respond, but I couldn’t. My body seized with panic as my hand made contact with the door behind me. In one quick motion, I spun around, pulled it open, and darted out.
I knew what I saw in her eyes. What I’d heard in her voice. I knew she’d had something to do with it. I knew she knew what happened to Laura.
Who had I brought into my life? Into Laura’s life?
What had I done?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Natasha
Nick rushed into the hut without knocking. When I turned around, thankful I’d just pulled the jeans up over my hips, I was prepared to chastise him, but judging by the look on his face, now wasn’t the time.
“What’s wrong?” Laura. They found Laura.
“I think Megan knows what happened to Laura,” he said, breathing heavily, a hand flat on his stomach just below his ribs.
“What do you mean?” Jaren asked, stepping forward, his expression serious.
“I have to tell you something,” Nick said, his eyes deadlocked with mine. His words sent chills across my arms. “You’re not going to like it, but I have to tell you.” He crossed the room and pulled the windows closed. “You should sit.”
I crossed my arms. “I think I’ll stand.”
Jaren didn’t move either. “Tell us, Nick. What’s going on?”
“I don’t have time to lessen the blow.” His lips formed an ‘O,’ and he blew out a breath. “So, here goes. Laura and I used to be…involved.”
The words ran over me, filling
