“Was she?”
He shook his head. “I hadn’t touched her sexually for months before that. If there was a baby, it sure as heck wasn’t mine.”
“She did the same thing to your brother.”
“Yeah. Stupid me, I didn’t see the similarities in our situation until last night.” He sighed, his shoulders sagging. “Anyway, it’s over. All in the past now.”
Except that the past had collided with the present. She drew a deep breath. “Why didn’t you let me know when you got back to town on Friday?”
“Because what you said made sense. I like helping people. God knows, I managed to talk myself into a completely unhealthy relationship and stayed in it for five years, trying to help one person.”
“There’s nothing wrong with helping people.”
Sean chuckled, a bitter sound. “No, I guess not, unless you can’t tell the difference between the emotional high from helping others and the emotional high of being in love.”
Debra stared at him. Not just a rebound affair. I’m tangled in a rebound affair with a man who has a deep, intrinsic need to help others. A man who would have helped me—helped anyone—without feeling a shred of affection or love, just because he’s a good man, just because he’s made that way.
He glanced away before returning his gaze to her. “I came to Havre de Grace, and managed to find a woman and her son who might have needed a bit of a nudge to get their lives into a better place. I provided it, and in return, I’m in a happy place—emotionally and physically.”
“But you don’t know if it’s love?”
“With my track record for rescuing people and strays, who knows? After five years with Romina, I probably needed the affirmation that I could do something right for myself and for others.”
“And I provided it,” Debra completed. The bitterness that infused Sean’s voice had crept into hers.
“It wasn’t deliberate. I didn’t seek you out intentionally.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“I don’t think I can say anything that’s going to make you feel better at this point. I wasn’t ready for a relationship of any sort. I’m sorry I dragged you into my mess.”
Debra sucked in a deep breath. Her voice trembled, but only slightly. “Okay, I get it. What would you like me to tell Aidan?”
A stricken expression crept into Sean’s eyes. “The truth, I suppose.”
“The truth is overrated, especially for a child who has found a hero. I know where we stand, but it doesn’t have to impact Aidan. You want to help? You can, with Aidan. He’s opened up to you. He enjoys spending time with you. If you can keep bringing Jewel over—it doesn’t have to be every day; perhaps a few times a week. I don’t want him to lose his hero and his dog at the same time.” She swallowed through the lump in her throat. “And if you need to pull away completely, do it gradually, for Aidan’s sake. Please.”
“I don’t think we can go back to where we were, evenings at your place, dog training—”
“We can go anywhere we want to, Sean. That’s the beauty of it. You haven’t made any commitment to me except friendship. I’ll even feed you dinner.” Her smile stretched tightly on her face, but she managed to blink back her tears.
“Debra, I—”
“It’s okay. Mistakes happen. We overstepped. I overstepped. You were just looking to help, and I was looking for more. I mistook empathy and compassion for love. You have a lot to give, Sean, and one day, I’m sure you’ll figure out the difference between helping and loving.” She took a few steps back from him, her head held high.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know. Will we…” She cleared her throat. “Will we see you tonight for dog training and dinner?”
He hesitated. “Maybe tomorrow. I’ll let you know.”
“Okay. Is it all right if Jewel stays over another night, or should I have Aidan bring her back to you tonight?”
“Yeah, of course. Keep her there.”
“Okay.” Debra hated that word, but it was all she had left in her vocabulary. Sean had made it clear that there was room for nothing else but friendship, and perhaps not even that. He had given everything he had been capable of giving, but she had interpreted it to mean more than was intended. It was not his fault.
No fault. No blame.
Just a heck of a lot of pain.
Debra spent the next few days serving coffee, tea, and cappuccino with a smile locked in place despite a raging headache and the sharp ache pulsing through her chest. Holding the smile steady when answering Aidan’s repeated questions of “Where’s Sean?” was a great deal harder. “He’s busy,” was the only answer she offered. Sean had stayed away for an entire week, but in her heart, she still hoped that she hadn’t destroyed Aidan and Sean’s friendship, even if she and Sean were done.
She glanced up as the café door opened. She forced the smile into a grin. “Hey, look who’s here, my regular Americano.”
The young man who passed through Havre de Grace once a month chuckled. “Right on schedule.”
Debra proceeded to fill his order. “I could almost set my watch by you, if I wore one. What brings you through town?”
“Oh, I live up near Westchester, New York, but my girlfriend is at medical school in Baltimore.”
“Long distance, huh?”
“Yeah, it’s been tough, but we’re making it work. She’s graduating next month, though.”
“That’s great.”
“Yeah,” he said, but did not sound particularly excited.
Another relationship headed for the rocks. Debra bit her lip. I’m just oversensitive today. Tonight, I’ll go home, and after I put Aidan to bed, I’ll have a nice soak in the bath.
Alone. Like I’ve been most of my adult life.
She ground her teeth. Even at her lowest, she had not given in to self-pity. Now, with a newly fledged catering business and a stronger financial outlook, she
