Finally, I had to set her off of me and I was going to get up. She didn't want to have any talk about the fact that she needed to sleep.
“Come on, Frank. Stay up with me like old times.”
I groaned inwardly. I knew that the old times were not always that great. I had gone to bed next to her several times, and she had slept soundly. I had been unable to get a wink of sleep. I guess it was going to be like old times, because there was no way I was going to be able to sleep with her next to me. She wanted to lay together, and I knew that it would be torture, pure and simple. If I couldn’t have all of her, being right next to her was going to be the pits.
Because I could never tell Amber no, I laid down on the bed and she snuggled up to me. We kissed a couple more times, but I had to stop it. I had too much desire and not enough control. A dangerous mix. The only saving grace that I had was that it didn't take her long to get to sleep. I was thankful for that, considering that there was no way I was going to bed that evening. I fully expected to be wide awake when she woke up. I had to hope that she would be as turned on then as she was now.
I knew that she very well might not be. Even though it had been years and a lot had changed, I still knew Amber better than I knew any other person, definitely any other female. If she remembered half of what we talked about tonight and what she had said to me, I had a feeling that she wasn't even going to look at me in the morning.
Sadly, I was right, but even more so than I realized. I woke up alone in the bed. No note, no nothing. Amber had just taken off and I knew why.
Damn it!
6
Amber
I was completely mortified. As soon as I woke up, I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't in the bed I was supposed to be in. I had a hangover that was really horrible, so it took me a minute to fully get myself together. Once I realized that Frank was next to me, I immediately looked to see if we had clothes on. He did, although his shirt was off, and I took far more time than I should have looking at his rippled abs and huge biceps. That was definitely something different about Frank. He had never been so big before, so manly.
I couldn't focus on that right now, not when the conversation that we had the night before and the way I had been acting came to mind. I can't even think about it without feeling mortified. Once all that came back, I realized I had to get out of there. There was no way that I was going to be able to face him this morning. Not after everything that happened and everything that I had said. I think at some point he had asked me if I was still a virgin.
It was just so embarrassing. As stealthily as I possibly could, I got out of the bed and wobble-walked toward the front door. Somehow, I remembered the layout of the place, even though it was new to me. Some parts of the night I wish I could forget but getting out of there without running into something in the predawn hours, definitely came in handy.
He had given me a ride there, but it wasn't that far from the funeral home. That's where my car was, and I walked over there in ten or fifteen minutes. My head was pounding, but I tried to ignore it. Instead, I was searching my memory for anything that would explain what happened. Why had I shamelessly thrown myself at Frank? I know that I had thought about him through the years, more than one time for sure, but coming on strong like that had never been my style. Now thinking back, it was just embarrassing, so it was hard to imagine me doing something like that. I knew I had, but I wished I hadn’t.
The more I thought about it, the worse it became. I was really building it up in my mind, and I couldn't believe some of the things I had said. More than that, what kept ringing true over and over again was the fact that not only had I practically thrown myself at Frank, but the truth was he had turned me down. Again.
I was so frustrated as I drove back to my grandad's house. It took me several moments to realize that he wasn’t going to be there when I got there. Such an odd feeling to have, especially after going to his funeral the day before. I knew he was gone, obviously, but right then when I was needing some comfort in familiarity, all it did was make me miss him even more than before.
Sure that all of my plans of staying and turning his place into some kind of fashion house were done with, I had to rethink my whole strategy. How could I stay here now? I was never going to be able to face Frank again. I was too embarrassed. There was no way that I was ever going to see him again. I was just going to have to come back on the weekends and go through his things in my spare time. It was silly to think that I should stay here. I had my whole life in France and Chicago. I was already spread too thin. I didn't need a whole other destination to worry about.
Within about twenty minutes of getting home, I decided that it wasn't going to be my home. Hampton was no longer the place for me. There were too
