“I can't just drop everything in my life to come back to my hometown. I had a life before I got that call about my grandfather.”
“Yes, but maybe that call was meant to happen. I'm sorry that Gerald is gone, but I'm not sorry that it allowed me to see you again. It has been so long, and I have missed you more than you can imagine.”
“You didn't miss me that much. You turned me down, again. Why would I want to make that same mistake again? It’s kind of embarrassing.”
She really just didn't understand. I had wanted her so badly last night. I wish that she hadn't drunk so much, because then I would not have had a reason to turn her away. I certainly didn't want one. How could she ever think that?
“You really just don't understand, do you?”
“What is it that I don't understand?”
“Well, for one, you were too drunk last night to even remember us having sex. Do you really want our first time together, after waiting all this time for it, to be something that neither one of us even remembers? I want you to remember every last thing that I do to you.”
I saw her shiver, and I wanted to take that as a good sign. It wasn't a given, I knew that much, but then again, nothing ever was. Before I could really think it through, I pulled her in for a kiss. That was the only thing that I knew would show her exactly what I was feeling. There were no words that could really describe my desire for her. None that I thought would truly suffice, anyway.
“So, is that what you're here for now?”
I grinned and told her that I figured we could at least start with some breakfast first. She thought I was being funny, but I really wasn't. She still had a hangover, and I meant what I said. I wanted our first time to be nothing short of magical. We deserved it.
“How about we get some carbs in you and some coffee, maybe it will help with your hangover. We don't have to do anything right now. I just want to spend some time with you.”
“Don't you have some fancy job that you need to get to?”
I shook my head and refused to even think about work.
“There is no way that I'm going to work right now. Not when the girl of my dreams is back in town.”
She said that I was laying it on thick and maybe I was, but that didn't mean that I didn't mean every last bit of it. She really had no idea how much I was into her, always had been. I didn't even think I had realized. Waking up alone without her had awakened something inside of me. It told me that I didn't want to be alone. I certainly didn't want her to leave. I was going to do anything that I could to make her stay. Whether she knew it or not, this was where she was supposed to be.
We took the breakfast out on the porch and eventually we both started talking about the old days. It was hard not to, especially when both of us were avoiding the conversation that was going to be a little awkward. Last night was definitely a no go subject. I didn't want to upset her. She felt like a delicate flower, and I was trying so hard not to crush the petals in my hands, but they felt clumsy. I was so worried that I was going to say the wrong thing and destroy the beauty in front of me.
“You're different, Frank.”
“In what way?”
She sure looked like she didn't know for certain.
“I don't know, you look at me differently.”
“How do I look at you?”
“Like you think I'm going to run away at any moment.”
I chuckled and had to agree with the assessment. That was basically how I was feeling at the moment. I wanted her to stay and I was worried about what was said. I didn't want to upset her. Before it had been so much more free and open. I didn't have to worry about walking on eggshells. It was certainly different, but I knew that most of the feelings now were of my own creation.
“Can I be honest with you?”
We were back at her granddad's house, and I think both of us were trying to figure out how this was supposed to look. I know that I was acting differently, but it was only because I was worried about chasing her off again. The wake-up call of being alone this morning told me that if I did the wrong thing, she was going to be gone again. I didn't want to go another ten years before I saw her again.
“If we're going to do that kind of honesty, maybe we should start drinking early and go up to our spot. It always seems to go better when we're up there. We can be ourselves and you can stop being so uptight.”
I chuckled at the way she said it, and even though I was a little worried about how this was all going to turn out, the idea of going back in time for a little while was definitely something that I could wrap my brain around.
We went and got ourselves a drink and went up to the attic. It had been a long time since I had gone out onto the roof, but
