I gulped, suddenly uncomfortable with hearing Ashton’s story from his grandma. I wanted him to tell me this stuff but he never would. Who wanted to relive these memories?
“What happened to Jenna?” I croaked. Gran released my hand and wiped one of her eyes, catching a tear there.
“Jenna always loved her daddy. He came to visit them on the weekends, and Jenna and Wayne had a really special bond. Those two were thick as thieves.” She smiled at the memory as I sat on the edge of my seat taking in every word. “When things got really bad, five years ago, Wayne asked Ashton to take over the bar because he couldn’t keep up.”
How sad for Ashton. To grow up without your mother and then lose your father to a bottle of whiskey.
Gran smiled. “Despite the rough upbringing, Ashton was always a happy kid. Always respectful and helped me on the farm, looked out for his sister.”
My heart pinched as I waited for that story. How she died. The accident.
His Gran seemed far off in a memory before she shook herself. “Anyway, I think Ashton should tell you the rest, but I wanted to mention it because he wasn’t always like this. And I’ve never seen him so … alive lately. Ever since you came along.”
My heart hammered in my chest at her words.
I make Ashton feel alive.
“Alive with anger,” I muttered.
Gran chuckled. “That’s just his way of working through the emotions he must be wrestling with. He’s never brought a girl home, no matter how many times I’ve asked and threatened.”
What? Never brought a girl home? I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I mean, it’s not like I was his girl. We’d started this morning as business associates and now we were … business associates who had kissed. Whatever that was.
“You’re good for him. Only a fool would deny that.” She patted my hand. “Go on and feed the chickens. We’re having cake in an hour. I just need to frost it.”
Feed the chickens, that’s where Ashton had gone. Why would I go out there with him after he’d all but tried to kick me out? “I think I’d rather stay here.” I gave her a small smile. “Need help frosting?”
Her eyes were kind, but you could tell there was a sadness there. “I’ll bet you got some fancy technique you could teach me.”
I laughed. “Got a Ziploc baggie? We can do piping.”
She nodded, and as I followed her into the kitchen I found myself replaying her retelling of Ashton’s childhood story. What did that kind of life do to a person long term? To have their mother die so young and then have their father become an alcoholic only to visit on the weekends? But as I passed the hallway of pictures on the wall, I smiled. Clearly his grandmother gave no shortage of love to the children; it was evident in these walls. Maybe if one parent figure picked up enough slack, and showered enough love, then the child didn’t really notice everything else that was lacking. It was a nice thought that I hoped was true.
Ashton
I never should have brought Millie here. What was I thinking? Now she was going to sleep in the guest house, the same place I’d snuck countless girls into during my senior year of high school. It was weird and I wanted her to leave. Mostly because she was getting along so well with my family and it made me uncomfortable. It reminded me of when Jenna was alive. Having a female, having someone who called me on my shit … Jenna did that.
After feeding the chickens, I sucked down another cigarette, but halfway through I kept replaying what Millie had said when she asked me to stop smoking. The passion and care in her voice. No one had cared about me like that in a long time. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want it. Getting too close to someone meant I could get hurt, and I literally wasn’t sure I could handle another heartbreak.
Tossing the cigarette on the ground, I smashed it with my boot just as my phone alarm went off.
Fuck.
My anti-rejection meds were in the truck, which was in the shop. Oh well, one day wouldn’t matter. I’d missed a day before. The fact that I was so casual about smoking and missing my meds scared me a little. Did I want to die? If I was being honest with myself…
“Cake is ready,” Millie’s voice called behind me and I jumped. When I turned and saw her standing in the doorway, hair fallen over one shoulder, short sundress blowing in the wind, it was like someone punched me in the gut.
I fucking liked her. Somewhere along the way, even with all the insults and annoying behavior, she’d grown on me. She was a stubborn-ass persistent woman and knowing she had gone through loss like I did … it made us the same, and that scared me the most.
I nodded and she turned to leave before catching herself. “Look, I don’t want to stay when you clearly don’t want me here, so after cake I’m gonna sneak out and call a cab. Your Gran will understand, right?”
Damn, I’d made her feel so unwelcome she was willing to take a two hour cab. That would be over a hundred dollars. What was I doing? I was raised better than this.
“No, she won’t. You promised her breakfast, and I’m looking forward to whatever you cook up.” I rubbed my belly and a small smile graced her lips.
“You sure?”
I nodded. “I’d like you to stay … I just, I’m not used to people…” Fuck, what was I trying to say?
“It’s fine.” She saved me before I could mumble random shit.
With that we walked in silence across the farm and into the kitchen. We sang for Gran, we ate cake, we told stories. Slowly but surely, I was getting to know this woman,
