There was silence. Long, uncomfortable silence. “Mil … what are you doing?”
My heart raced in my chest. I was starting to forget how this whole thing had started. I’d come here to meet Ashton, hear Colin’s heartbeat, and leave. Now I’d moved into Ashton’s apartment building, started working for him, promised to save his bar, and kissed him.
What am I doing?
“I like him,” I blurted out.
“Millie. No.” Her voice was full of compassion, not condemnation, which made tears prick my eyelids.
“I know. It’s fucked. I need to tell him but … it’s not because he has Colin’s heart. I mean, that’s why I came here originally but—”
“But what, Millie? Of course it’s because he had Colin’s heart. You feel a connection because he’s carrying around the only living thing left of your dead husband.”
Her words were harsh but I needed to hear them. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know, but the chemistry he and I have…”
“You sound confused,” Julie said. “You didn’t kiss him or anything, right, Millie?”
I chewed on my lip. “One kiss.”
Julie sighed. “Did you call your therapist?”
I groaned. “Fuck my therapist! He’s going to charge me two hundred and fifty dollars to tell me everything you’re telling me now.”
Therapy was great in the beginning, but then it became repetitive: “How does that make you feel? How can you change your thinking? How this and how that?” If I wanted to be asked a bunch of fucking questions I’d tell my problems to a five-year-old.
“Okay,” Julie said. “Just don’t complicate things further. I think you need to tell Ashton about Colin, then you can decide if you really like him for him.”
She was right. “Okay. I will. I’ll find the right time and tell him.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
I nodded. “If the truck isn’t ready after breakfast, I’ll take a cab.”
“Night, Mill. I love you.”
“Love you too.” Julie was my ride or die. I trusted her judgement on this.
Jumping into the shower, I soaped off all of the river water, our kiss, the snake, all of it. Julie was right, I was confused. Ashton was alive because of Colin, and that made me feel close to him. That was why, right? Or because behind his eyes I saw a wounded man that reminded me so much of myself that I wanted to fix him and take his pain away. Neither sounded very healthy. Maybe I was confused, maybe Colin’s heart made me feel some attraction to him … but I didn’t think so, because every time I felt attracted to him I wasn’t thinking of Colin.
Fuck.
After showering, I put on Ashton’s clean white shirt and black boxer briefs.
Bad idea.
Bad.
They smelled so good. They smelled like him and whatever cologne he wore. Earthy and spicy and sexy.
Screw this day. I was going to go to bed, wake up and make his gran a five-course breakfast and then get the hell out of here, go back to the bar and tell Ashton everything.
Stepping into the bedroom, my eyes tracked some movement on the bed before a shriek tore from my throat. A blur of feathers flew at my face and I stumbled backward out of the room and slammed the door.
Chicken. There was a fucking chicken on my bed.
My heart pounded in my chest, hands shaking as I texted Ashton.
Me: There’s a chicken on my bed. Help.
His reply was instant.
Ashton: LOL. Be right there. Don’t cook it. Probably Tinkle. Gran’s favorite.
Don’t cook it. Ha ha. Very funny.
A minute later, Ashton walked in the front door and stopped dead. His eyes raked up and down my body causing heat to pool between my legs.
It’s just because he has Colin’s heart. I’m clinging to the past, I told myself.
“Did you open a window or something?” he asked, shaking himself from his trance.
I nodded. “It’s nice out.”
Ashton chuckled. “I need to fix that screen. I’ll be right back.”
He opened the bedroom door and his gaze fell to the foot of the bed. “Tinkle, you little shit!” Ashton lurched forward and scooped the bird up in his arms. Walking over to the window, he chucked the bird out and slammed the window down.
“Shouldn’t he be in the coop or something?”
Ashton nodded. “Gran lets a few free range. They eat ticks and other bad bugs.”
Oh. This city girl clearly didn’t know shit about farming.
My hands were still shaking. “I need a drink,” I joked. “Scared the shit out of me.”
Ashton ran a hand through his hair. “I keep the fridge pretty stocked when I visit. Want a beer?”
I sensed a make or break moment. Say no, he would leave and I was safe from whatever this was becoming. Say yes, and we were having a drink together at eight p.m. and God knows what else would come of it.
I tucked my hair over one shoulder and smiled. “Depends what kind you have.”
Was I flirting? Why? I couldn’t help it. Ashton was intoxicating, alluring, magnetic. I was so royally fucked.
“Are you a beer elitist? I get a lot of those in my bar. Sometimes I pour them a bud light just to be an asshole.”
I laughed. “You do not!”
He nodded. “I most certainly do.”
He walked over to the fridge and opened it, looking back at me. “Let me guess: Hefeweizen?”
A grin pulled at the corners of my mouth. “How did you know?”
He shrugged. “Designer purse.”
I rolled my eyes as he handed me a beer. A Budweiser.
Laughter pealed out of me as I popped the lid and took a swig.
Shit beer, but it would do the trick.
My eyes fell to the small loveseat sofa and a needlepoint embroidered pillow there.
There was a tiny red fox with the words: Look at all the Fox I give underneath in black lettering.
I chuckled. “Gran?” Somehow I just knew.
He nodded. “She sells them at the farmers market in town. People go crazy for them.”
Unsure what to do, I sat down on the small loveseat sofa. “Must have been exciting to grow
