That was what it meant to be a mother.
So when the time came, when her daughter’s heart rate dropped and Caleb announced he had to go in, it was simple to say yes. To throw away every plan she’d made. To toss it all off without a single regret and say yes to anything that saved her child. Then she was the one lending Henry strength before Caleb gave her the drugs that would allow him to perform the surgery.
I’m so sorry. Nell, if we could have gotten to the hospital…
But she wasn’t sorry. Regret might come later, and she might look back and wistfully wish it had gone another way, but now only one thing mattered. As the darkness took her, she sank into warmth and believed that they would be okay.
Chapter Eleven
Henry Flanders felt years older, and so young it hurt. Older because that night two days before had been beyond rough. He’d thought he would lose them both, and a black void had opened in front of him.
But then he looked down at the tiny girl in his arms, her chest against his, and he felt like the whole world was new. He’d shed his shirt because Nell had told him their daughter needed to be skin to skin. She’d told him a whole lot of things when she’d woken up and gotten to see their daughter for the first time. He was planning on doing anything she asked of him because that night had been…the worst and best night of his life.
Yesterday had been okay. Nell was still in pain from the emergency C-section, but she was determined to do everything she could to get back on her feet. Holly had come up to the clinic three times a day to take Nell for a walk. Holly had been through it and promised Nell that moving might be painful, but it would save her so much more discomfort down the line.
So he’d watched his wife gingerly move around, trying to recover.
God, if only he’d been able to take that pain. He’d never felt as helpless as he had in that moment when Caleb had told him Poppy’s heart rate had dropped.
The door came open and Caleb strode through, his clipboard in hand. He glanced over at the machines that monitored Nell’s vitals. “Has she been sleeping all right?”
“Yes, but she’s ready to get out of here and go home.” He’d already talked to her midwife, who’d promised to come out as soon as the roads cleared. Until then, Caleb could easily make it to their place. He wanted to give her something…anything.
“She can go home this afternoon. Everything looks good. Little Poppy there is perfectly healthy, and Nell’s moving along nicely. She’s going to want to get off the meds before she’s ready,” Caleb started.
“No, I’m not.” Nell yawned and winced. “I’m going to do everything you tell me to, Doc. This sucks, and I don’t think that turmeric tea is going to take away the pain. But it will help with inflammation.”
“You’re being surprisingly reasonable,” Caleb said.
“Well, I am stapled together,” she admitted. “I’ve thought a lot about the fact that what happened to me wasn’t natural.”
“It was perfectly natural,” Caleb said with a frown. “Was I supposed to let you…”
She forced herself up with a wince. “No. That’s what I’m saying. Without that surgery I would have died, so I will follow the traditional medicine world in this case. I can’t take care of her properly if I’m in pain. The drugs don’t make me loopy.”
“When they do, you’ll know it’s time to get off them,” Caleb said. “About two weeks should do it, but until then, it’s best to stay ahead of the pain.”
“I’ll make sure she gets everything she needs.” And he knew what she would want. He eased out of the chair as Poppy started moving. It was like she knew her mom was awake and she could get where she wanted to be. “You want to hold her?”
That brought a smile to his wife’s face. “Yes. I want to see if she’ll latch.”
“Naomi’s on her way in. She’s the expert.” Caleb moved to the door. “Like all things with this whole parenting thing, be patient. You’ll find your way. Henry, you should go back to your cabin and get things ready for your girls. You haven’t even had a shower in days.”
He hadn’t been willing to leave them. He’d slept on a cot beside her bed. It wasn’t like this was a big hospital where they had a nursery. Naomi and Caleb had taken long shifts, and Tyler Davis had come in to cover when they needed a break. They’d had plenty of help, but this was his family and he wouldn’t leave them for his own comfort.
Without a bit of self-consciousness, Nell shrugged the top part of her gown down and put their daughter to her breast. “You aren’t going to be able to make fun of Michael Novack anymore, Henry.”
Was he really stinky? That wouldn’t do. But he didn’t like the idea of leaving her here alone with Caleb, who was a great doctor but probably would get involved with something else and only check on her and not hover over her like she deserved.
The door opened again and all of his excuses fled. Holly and Laura walked in, carrying some flowers. They would absolutely hover over her. Her best friends would take care of her.
“Hey,” Laura said, beaming. “How’s our girl?”
He would be happy to share her with
