Raiden’s eyes become bigger than I’ve ever seen them. His brows arch, and his mouth falls open for a minute before he snaps it shut and gets a hold of himself. “That’s absolute nonsense,” he says with conviction.
“No, it isn’t! Think about it. Technically, this should never happen. We were once stepbrother and stepsister. It’s wrong. It’s just seriously wrong.”
“It’s not. Our parents weren’t married for very long, and we never thought of each other as brother and sister. Plus, we were kids then. It’s been years and years since we’ve last seen each other before we met again, and our parents haven’t been married for years and years. It isn’t wrong.”
“It is,” I insist, “because even if it isn’t for all those reasons, it’s wrong for a thousand others. All relationships just go to shit. Our parents have proved that to us more than once. I’ve been used before, and it makes me feel like garbage, but even the times I thought it was going to work out, it didn’t. What chance do we even have? You’re crazy rich, and you could date anyone you want. I’m sure even if we kept this up, sooner or later, you’d get bored and decide there are millions of better options out there, and I’d be garbage once again.”
Raiden swivels his legs off the bed and stands slowly. The cat-like grace and power in his body can’t be denied. He tucks the sheet around his waist, and the hurt that flashes across his face is unmistakable. “I’m disappointed you’d say that about me. I know we don’t know each other that well yet, but—”
“You’re going to say you were the one who got dumped, that you don’t actually have a type, and that you could never and would never get tired of me. Blah, blah, blah. I’ve heard all of it before.”
“Yeah, but those guys were assholes. This is me, Zoe. The difference between them and me is that I mean it. I’m not just trying to get in your pants. I’ve never felt this way before. Ever.”
“That’s your dick talking.”
“It’s my brain, too, since technically it controls all the blood flow to every bit of me.”
I roll my eyes and cross my arms. “Look, Raiden, I’m not saying I regret this. I’m saying it’s a good time to stop. Three clear signs are enough for me.”
“That’s just you freaking out and reading into things that aren’t meant to be read into. Sometimes, it storms, causing a tree to fall. Sometimes, bugs bite because it’s the wilderness. And sometimes, guys come too soon. It’s not a sign of anything.”
“You don’t know that!”
“I do,” Raiden sighs. “Because that’s the rational thing to think. Looking for random signs is irrational.”
“But knowing for a fact that like ninety percent of relationships go to complete poop isn’t.”
“So that’s what this is really about. You’re panicking about getting hurt before it even happens. I’m not like those other guys, and I know you can’t just take my word for it because you shouldn’t. But I also know if you gave me a chance, I’d prove to you I’m not.”
“No. Raiden…just no.” I shake my head vehemently. I wish he knew how much this hurts. It feels a little bit like someone just jammed a rusty butter knife into my chest. Butter knives aren’t exactly sharp either, so the sucker would really hurt going in. The rust is just for good measure. “I…I can’t. I just can’t. I didn’t plan on this. It just happened, but I could have stopped it from happening. I should have had more self-control, and I take full responsibility for my actions. I’m not saying it wasn’t good, but I have to be realistic.”
“So, you’re just going to quit before you even give me a chance? Before you even give yourself a chance?”
“You make it sound so bad.”
“Because it is!”
I shake my head again. I have to look away because if I keep looking at Raiden and keep seeing all the wounded pain on his face, I’m going to cave. I’m going to give in, and in the end, it’s just going to hurt both of us. I have to be tough now in order to save a lot of trouble for my future self.
Stay strong, Zoe. Don’t give in. Don’t get back in that bed like you want to. Life is too short to keep getting hurt over and over again.
“There are other things I want to do. I’ve never even told anyone about wanting to be a vet-tech before today, but I really do want to do it. If I’m talking about signs, I might as well use this whole thing as one. I kept putting more schooling off because I didn’t have the money and felt like I didn’t have the time, but I’ll find it. I’ll get loans, and I’ll make time because I’m giving my notice. And no, I’m not going to work for your competition. I was never really serious about that anyway. You know me. I couldn’t do evil things even if I tried.”
“I don’t know. This is pretty bad.”
I grind my teeth and curl my hands so that my nails dig into my palms. Raiden makes me sound a little bit like a monster, and I don’t like sounding like a monster. I don’t want to be a monster. I just know how this is going to end up, and of all the people in the world, I don’t want to hurt Raiden. The R he tattooed into my hip so long ago is practically throbbing. It was a promise—a promise that we’d stand by each other, but not like this. Neither
