“I’ll make you a deal. You go on a real date with me. we dress smart, dinner, movie and I’ll clean it ready for the date.” Date? An actual date?
“Um Logan , I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I mean I know we just spent the day together and it was great, really it was. But there’s that ..... Um..... Thingy..... With your family arrangements, and to be honest I’m not really in a place where I’m ready to be on dates yet. I still have some things in my head to concentrate on. Does that make sense?”
Great I pretty much just told him I’m mental. He just stays stood in front of me but moves a little closer and puts his hands on my waist. I can feel ten bolts of lightening coursing through my body at the connection. Yeah I need do figure that out too.
“I get it, really I do. But I already told you not to worry about my family stuff. I’ve got it under control. And your stuff in your head, I want to help you through it. But it’s fine. I’ll bring the car round in the week and you can just help me wash it.”
He smiles and tugs me closer to him. I think I’m starting to lose the feelings in my legs. It’s a good job he’s holding onto me. I felt so confident talking to him two minutes ago, now just because he’s holding my waist and staring at me I can’t seem to think straight.
“Oh” is all I manage to get out. It’s like he knows he is having an effect on me, and he gets a mischievous glint in his eyes. He bends down to my ear and grips my waist a little tighter.
“A date with me, or wash my car with me.” He whispers in my ear. He stays there though. His lips just a millimetre away from my skin. I feel his breath on my neck and it’s sending pleasure all through my body. All I manage to do is nod my head. He chuckles.
“Yes to a date?” He whispers again. I shake my head side to side I hear him sigh and he moves one of his hands to the back of my neck and pulls me closer to him. His one finger moves slowly on my neck. Tracing an invisible line from my ear to my collar bone.
“You sure?” He says even softer than before. Over the erratic beating of my heart, I’m surprised I hear him. I nod my head and he inhales deeply. Did he just smell me?
“Ok, I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” He places a kiss on the top of my head and I have to stop my self from gripping his shirt and pulling him in for a proper kiss. But right now, somehow my head is still over ruling my heart. And I have to listen to it while I still can.
“Bye Logan.” I take a few steps away and start walking up my porch steps.
“I’ll bring the buckets you can bring the sponges.” He calls back to me with a smile. But I can see in his eyes he is disappointed. I hate that I have given him that look. That I’m the reason he’s disappointed. But it’s just better this way.
I have to save myself somehow.
“Ok” I say and nod back at him as he moves to get in his truck. I stand and watch him drive away and give a little wave.
I feel disappointed with my self. It really had been a perfect day and I think I just spoiled it. But in the end I know what’s going of happen.
He’s already told me what his future holds and it’s not me. It’s some other girl. I’m going to be the one who’s left crying and heartbroken. And I don’t think my heart can take much more.
I just can’t take that risk.
◆◆◆
A horn honks out side and I say bye to aunt Sara. I walk to the car and I’m greeted by a wide eyed Amber with a huge grin on her face.
“Well, well, well, I have to say I’m a little hurt you didn’t tell me. But, tell me the details and I’ll forgive you. I mean it is Logan we’re talking about after all!”
She claps her hands together excitedly and starts to make her way towards school.
“What are you on about?” I say, I have a clue now that she has said Logan’s name, but I don’t know how she knows.
Do I even want her to know and make it into something it’s not. She passes me her phone and shows me a photo on there. It’s of me. Me and Logan to be exact. It’s taken from Saturday night. When we were sat in the coffee shop. He’s holding my chin gently and looking into my eyes. It looks as if we are about to kiss or just finished kissing. It’s gives my stomach butterflies just thinking back to that moment.
“Oh. It’s really not what it looks like” she gives me a look and raises her eyebrows.
“Uh huh, honestly I don’t mind you didn’t want to come to the party because you had plans with Logan. But you could have told me. So is he good? Tell me?” she asks jokingly. Only I don’t think she actually is joking. I think she really does want the details. But the truth is there isn’t any to give.
“How did you
