“He shouldn’t have been touching you. And whispering in your ear. In my family, that’s a big enough reason”
“Well then your family is crazy. And I’m not in your family. That’s not a reason Logan. You can’t do that. It’s not even like we’re together. But even if we were it doesn’t..... We spent a few days together. That doesn’t give you the right to.....” I can’t even form a single sentence and I’m glad my aunt isn’t here to witness our conversation.
He interrupts me again.
“I know and I’m sorry. I just lost it. And you’re right, my family are crazy. But just forget about them and everyone else. Please forgive me.” He has taken hold of my hands and is gripping them in between us. Holding me place.
“I accept your apology Logan. But it’s really not me you should be apologising to. I don’t have a black eye and split lip. You can’t just go around punching people.”
“I know. I have issues and I’m trying to work them out, really I am. But just spend some more time with me. Just us. Like at the weekend. Get to know that I’m not like that.” He takes a step closer to me again so my face is almost touching his chest. I have to look up at him meet him eye to eye. I shake my head. I get a dull ache in my chest.
“I don’t think I can do that Logan. I thought there would be a justifiable reason why you did what you did. I defended you. But it doesn’t make sense.” I can practically feel my heart disagreeing with my head. My body just wants be back in his arms, being held, but my head tells me that he is a predator. Dangerous. But I’m sure that’s part of the appeal to my body. Every girl wants a bad boy really, don’t they?
“You can, please don’t say that. I would never ever hurt you. I couldn’t. Please Alexia, I just need time to show you. I know that you feel something between us. It’s there, it’s real. You can’t tell me you don’t.” He’s pleading with me, and his hands have moved to either side of my face so I have to look at him. And I can feel my heart tugging a little more.
“I feel something that I can’t explain yes, but I don’t know you. Not really. What I do know is that this morning you got angry for no reason and hit someone. I don’t think I can take the risk that the next time it could be me.” He’s shaking his head at me and drops his hands.
“It was for a reason, and how many times do I have to tell you, I would never hit you. It goes against everything that I am.” His words are getting louder now and he starts pacing back and forth. He runs his hands through his hair. I feel like we are breaking up, which is odd because we were never together.
“Well what was the reason. Tell me Logan, because I don’t understand. You’ve known me a month. You don’t attack some other guy over a girl you’ve known a month! This is crazy!” My voice is raised now.
“It’s not crazy, I promise I can explain but I can’t do it right now.” He says in a gentler tone. He’s stopped pacing and is just stood still looking straight at me. He’s moved onto the porch steps so we are at the same eye level.
“Then you need to leave Logan. We should just go back to the way we were before this weekend.”
Even saying the words has caused a real ache in my heart. There’s nothing dull about it this time. I can almost feel myself starting to cry. This is crazy. I shouldn’t be this affected by this conversation with him.
I don’t understand.
“I can’t do that Alexia.” he says walking back up the steps.
I start walking backwards to move away but he just keeps coming, stalking towards me. Logan is the predator and I am his prey. I can feel my heart rate increasing, and what takes seconds feels like it’s taking hours. He hasn’t taken his eyes off me. He hasn’t even blinked. I can see his eyes have turned a darker shade of green than usual. I know I should be starting to panic now, but I can’t. My stomach is too busy doing somersaults and I fear my heart is about to beat out of my rib cage.
My back touches the house. There’s no where else for me to go. Logan has continued to walk as close as he can to me and places his palms flat on the wall either side of my head. Blocking my escape.
“Why not?” I manage to whisper, not sounding anywhere near as strong as I would have liked.
He bends his head down and rubs his nose along my ear. He moves further down and places little kisses on my neck and back up to my ear. My body feels like it’s on fire. He moves his one hand to clasp it around the back of my neck. And touches his forehead to mine. I don’t think I can look him in the eye without exploding so I close my eyes. I’m sure he can feel me shaking. My whole body is. And it’s not with fear. I’m not sure how I’m actually still standing upright. He
