“So are you a good listener?” He doesn’t move or make any indication that he understands me. not that I expected him to of course. I carry on.
“I think I’m slightly crazy. This must be the stupidest thing I’ve done in my life. I mean I’m sat here talking to you, a wolf, who may well have killed a person a few nights ago. Although I really hope that you didn’t do that. But I’m sat here thinking that you remind me of someone. Or maybe I just can’t get them out of my head and that’s why I think you look like him. Well not that he looks like a wolf. But just his eyes and your eye colour is similar. Told you. Crazy right? ”
He shuffles a bit closer so now his whole head is resting on the bottom step and lets out a huff.
“So you see, there’s this guy I think I like. No I know I like him. I have this crazy attraction to him that I can’t explain, but he does look like a God, so that could explain it. But he was sort of a jerk, then he was nice and we spent a few really nice hours together, but then this morning he was back in jerk mode. He practically beat up Chris. And when I asked him why he didn’t have an answer. Well not an acceptable one anyway. ′He was touching you′ that’s what he said. I mean who hits someone for that reason. It’s not like he was hurting me. It was only Chris. He’s my friend.” I move back to the sofa, my blanket and drink. I take a couple of sips, then carry on my rant. The wolf just stays where he is, not moving, but following me with his eyes.
“But then after school, he came to see me. He was back to nice Logan again, and he is so sexy, he knows he affects me you know, I’m sure he does. That’s why he did all that neck kissing, I mean how’s a girl meant to even concentrate on anything that’s going on when he does that. And ′because your mine’ what the hell does that mean??? Don’t get me wrong it did feel really, really good when he said it, but does he actually think that? He’s practically engaged to someone else. I’m not his. I’m not a thing that can be owned. By him or anyone. What does he think this is the eighteen hundreds? And I would’ve said so there and then if I had any feeling in my body what so ever that is.”
I’ve gotten up from my place on the sofa and started pacing back and forth, I need to slow down and take a breath. And maybe have an actual person to talk this through with. Someone who can actually give me advice. I take my seat again and a couple of deep breaths. The wolf never once taking his eyes off me.
“Why does he have to have someone else? I don’t understand, but it’s not like I can just come out and ask him can I? No because that makes me look like..... I don’t even know what it makes me look like. But then there’s Chris. I know he likes me. He’s made that obvious. And I do like him. But I think my attraction to Logan is stronger. He’s coming to pick me up in the morning and I really don’t know what Logan is going to do if he sees us arrive together. But it really shouldn’t matter what he thinks. We are not together. He has someone waiting for him. I can’t have him, so he just needs to get this ‘I’m his’ notion out of his head. And I need to get these attraction thoughts out of mine.”
Feeling a new sense of pride that I have come up with my own solution I stand to my feet and start pacing again.
“Yeah that’s it. He’s just gonna have to suck it up and be a man. He can get on with his life and I can do what I came here to do. Finish school. No guys to distract me.” A low slow growl comes from the wolf while he raises his head, making me jump, and bringing me back to the reality that there is an extra large wolf in my back yard.
“Right I think it’s time for my rant to be over before you decide you do want to eat me. You’ve been a great help in letting me vent my feelings, so you can go now.” He sits up and looks at me while I slowly back away to the door.
“You need to go, you can’t stay here. Go find a rabbit and not a human” To which he snorts and stares at me again. I reach the door and slowly let myself inside. He just stays in the same spot, not moving.
I lock the door and head to bed, after going through my nightly routine and getting in bed, the last thing I hear is a howl again. It’s like a lullaby to my ears. I know it’s my wolf. Even though I left him right after he growled I still feel deep within that he wouldn’t hurt me. I don’t know what it is. It sounds strange but there’s a feeling, it’s the same one I had when I was with Logan. It made me feel safe and full. It was there again tonight with the wolf. I never had any intention of spilling my thoughts the way I did. Not that it really matters though, I mean honestly, who’s he going to tell?
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Chris arrives right on time in the morning. I was actually a little nervous this
