“You haven’t forgotten. It’s all still right here.” She rested her hand over his heart. “You just have to clear away all that bad stuff to let the good stuff out.”
This time, the noise from the hallway was an unmistakable sniffle.
His mother smiled. “You have some very good friends.”
“They have their moments, but right now I kind of want to hurt them.”
She patted his chest. “Let’s get some food into you to soak up that whiskey.”
He watched her walk toward the hallway. “Mom?”
She turned.
“About Marsh.”
“What about him?”
“You should call him. He was pretty devastated when you kicked him out.”
His mom tilted her head quizzically. “Are you defending him?”
“I think I finally understand him.” He suddenly understood a lot. Like how wrong he’d been when reading that damn book. All along, he couldn’t relate to AJ because Noah thought he was too much like Elliott. A selfish asshole who abandoned his kid. But he’d been reading the story all wrong. Elliott wasn’t AJ. Noah was. A scared, broken man who was so terrified of losing the things that mattered to him that he instead lashed out and pushed those things away. He’d been trying to make up for his past mistakes with his money, paying off houses and college tuitions because he didn’t know another way to apologize.
He was Beefcake, biting and clawing out of fear. Pushing people away before they could abandon him.
His mother stared at him so intensely that he squirmed. “He wants to be a good man,” he said. “But he only knows one way to do things. He will need help to change, but I think he can.”
“Hitting you was unforgivable.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
She smiled. “Are you playing matchmaker?”
“I just want you both to be happy.”
“One thing at a time,” she said. “Let’s take care of you first, and in the morning, you can go say all the things to Alexis that obviously need to be said. Then maybe I’ll call Marsh.”
“Deal.”
* * *
The next time he woke up, it was four o’clock in the morning, and the guys and his mother all stared at him with bleary-eyed panic.
He sat up in bed. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Dude, she’s going through with it,” Mack said. “We have to go.”
“What are you talking about? Who’s going through with what?”
“Alexis,” Colton said, as somber as he’d ever seen him. “She’s going through with the surgery.”
His mom dropped a stack of clothes on the bed. “Get dressed. If you drive fast, you can get there in time to see her before she goes in.”
Noah grabbed Colton by the front of the shirt. “Tell me you can drive fast.”
CHAPTER THIRTY
The room was cold.
Alexis tied the thin straps of her gown at the shoulder and held the rest of it closed with her hands. The material was crisp and clean. She shoved her clothes in the plastic bag the nurse had given her. Then she climbed into bed and tugged the blanket over her bare legs.
There was a knock at the door followed by Candi’s tentative voice. “Can I come in?”
“It’s open,” Alexis called.
Candi wore one of her oversize university sweatshirts and a pair of black leggings. Her eyes were tired, her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail.
Alexis and Candi spoke at the same time.
“You ready?”
“Is Elliott ready?”
Alexis laughed. “You go first.”
Candi approached the bed. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Good to go. Elliott?”
“He seems good. He keeps trying to make us all laugh because we’re all nervous.”
Alexis reached out her hand. “Everything will be fine.”
Candi’s eyes shimmered with tears as she let Alexis wrap their fingers together.
“Hey,” Alexis squeezed. “No crying.”
Candi smiled and shrugged. “I can’t help it. I’m sorry. My father and my sister are about to go into surgery together.”
Alexis waited for the normal resentment at the word sister. It didn’t appear. “We’re in good hands, Candi. It’ll be over before you know it.”
Cayden walked in next, shuffling nervously. “Can I, uh, can I come in?”
Candi tensed and darted her gaze back and forth between him and Alexis.
“Sure,” Alexis said.
He gulped. “I’m sorry about how I’ve been treating you. About everything.”
Alexis tilted her head. “And you feel bad because I might die saving our father’s life?”
He blanched.
Alexis laughed. “I’m just messing with you.”
Cayden’s face blazed red. “I deserved that.”
Alexis didn’t disagree because, yeah, he did. It would take a little longer for her to forgive him than even Elliott, because at least Elliott was willing to own up to his mistakes. Cayden dug into his pocket and withdrew a folded piece of paper. He handed it over. “She made you another picture.”
Alexis opened it. It was a scribble of wavy lines in red, yellow, and blue. At the top, someone had written, To Aunt Alexis.
“It’s a rainbow,” Cayden explained. “I can hang on to it for you, if you want.”
“No,” she blurted. “I—I want to keep it.”
“When this is over, I hope we can—”
“Maybe.” Alexis cut him off because she was afraid of what her emotions would do if he finished the sentence.
He nodded. “I’ll, um, I’m going to go back to Mom. She’s kind of a mess.”
“See you on the flip side.”
He blinked again and then left the room.
“He’s trying,” Candi said.
“I know. So am I.”
Candi did that nervous lip-biting thing. “So, Noah . . . ?”
Alexis felt another kick in her chest. She shook her head but had to breathe in and out before speaking. “I don’t think he’s going to forgive me for doubting him.”
“But he loves you.”
Tears burned her eyes. “I hurt him too badly.”
“I don’t believe that,” Candi said, resting her hand on Alexis’s arm. “I promise you. He will be here.”
* * *
Noah had thought the worst
