“I can never guarantee how any pregnancy will proceed,” she responds honestly. “Taking into account your age and its toll on you, as well as the possible genetic problems with a baby, if you don’t want to continue, it won’t be a problem. This will have a major effect on both your lives.”
She’s not kidding. Of course I had worries when I was carrying Alicia, what mother doesn’t? But it had been a smooth pregnancy, and an uncomfortable but not difficult birth. What I hadn’t done was stress out for nine months about whether I’d made the right choice and expected nothing other than a healthy baby at the end of it.
“My job,” the doctor leans forward, “is to give you all the facts. You’ve both got a lot to think about. You could look at this as an unexpected blessing, or the outcome of a mistake you didn’t expect to make with ramifications you can’t live with.”
Grumbler raises his fingers. “Is there a risk to Mary? Could it affect her health? Could she…”
As his voice trails off, the doctor looks sympathetic. “Carrying a baby isn’t easy, even for a woman much younger. Yes, there will be a strain on your heart, Mary, as well as on your back. You will need more monitoring than you did with your daughter.”
“You’ve given us a lot to think about,” Grumbler states, reaching over and squeezing my hand. “In the meantime, while we’re thinking it through, are there any dos and don’ts? Can Mary ride on my bike?”
Dr Woodward laughs. “Yes. Just avoid anything too strenuous, have a good diet and take the vitamins I’ll prescribe. Listen to your body. If you get tired, rest, if you’re fine, get on and enjoy life. Stressing out and worrying won’t be good for any of you.”
I think I’m in a daze as I exit the hospital carrying my bag of vitamins. Both of us remain silent until we’re in the car.
“We need to talk.”
“Too fuckin’ right,” Grumbler grumbles. As I start to bristle, thinking he’s going to tell me the pregnancy can’t proceed, he surprises me. “Look, Mary. I know you loved Dave and that I can’t replace him. Don’t want to. I want my own space in your heart which is big enough for us both. But I don’t want to hear one more person call you Mrs with a name that’s not mine. Next time we fuckin’ come here, I want you to be Mrs Winslow.”
I gasp in air, then splutter out, “Did you just ask me to marry you?”
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” He shakes his head, then, cautiously looks at me, his eyebrow raised in challenge. “So, what do you say?”
We’ve got a heap of issues to work through. We could decide to go ahead with the pregnancy and lose the baby and have to deal with the grief. We could decide there’s too much risk involved and end any possibility now and always live with the regret. But as I look at the handsome man sitting next to me, I know I can get through anything with him beside me.
So what answer can I give, but throw myself into his arms, and sob out a yes?
When Dave died, I never thought I’d find happiness again. Loneliness had driven me to go looking, but in the wrong direction as it turned out. I’d never have given a biker a second look, or not one that wasn’t to ensure he wasn’t heading in the same direction as I.
He might not be the smoothest talker in the world, his manners might be gruff, but he’s the man I want in my life.
When he finishes ravishing my mouth, I pull back, holding him at arm’s length. “I love you.”
“Kinda guessed that,” he smirks, “with you having my kid and agreeing to wear my ring on your finger. But, if we’re into big declarations, I love you, too.”
I can give as good as I get. I roll my eyes. “Kinda guessed that,” I reply.
Chapter Forty
Grumbler
Jeez, where does the time go? It’s been four weeks since we handed over Devon, and the days have flown by. On the personal front, things couldn’t be better. Mary and Alicia have moved into my house, with the result that it’s become a home. It feels warm and welcoming every night when I return. Almost daily, I notice little changes, a vase of flowers here, a throw cushion there, each addition being an enhancement.
I’d bought the place so long ago with dreams I’ve long since forgotten. I might have had to wait almost a quarter of a century, but it’s all come together now. I love having my two ladies there, and they in turn have settled in well. Which, on Alicia’s part might have a lot to do with the small car I’d bought for her. Oh, and the thousand dollars I’d passed on to her—her share of the money I’d got out of Devon.
I’m slowly coming to terms with the idea I might become a dad, and I’ll be fucked if I don’t like it. The only cloud being, neither Mary nor I can get our hopes up. Nature might put an end to our dreams any day now. It’s going to be a long seven months. It’s a tough situation to deal with, but I’m determined to be her rock, to be there for her whatever the outcome.
The hardest part is not hovering over her, trying to ensure she doesn’t do too much. A smile curves my lips. Last night, she chased me out of the house with the fucking hoover when I tried to take over. I hadn’t gone far, just to the barn I’m fixing up so I can work on bikes at home. I have a need to be close to her, even though I might drive her crazy at times.
How did I, a wizened biker who thought the best of his life was over, end up with
