“Not long,” he tells me.
I bristle slightly. “Was this your plan all along? To get me into bed?”
“No, no,” he refutes fast. “I always have one in my wallet. It’s a habit since I was a teen. A boy scout always likes to be prepared.”
I doubt he was ever a boy scout, but I let that pass, as suspicion dawns on me. “When did you put it in there, then?”
Grumbler’s brow furrows, then his eyes open wide. “I’ve not fucked since before the accident…” He breaks off, goes to the foil wrapper that’s discarded by the side of the bed, picks it up, and gets a pair of glasses out of his cut. He stares down for a moment, then says, “Fuck.” His gaze comes to me, and the heel of his hand hits his forehead. “How could I be so fucking stupid? This thing’s well out of date.”
“It’s alright,” I start. “I doubt I can get pregnant.”
“You sure of that?” he asks.
“It’s really unlikely, isn’t it?”
He stares for a moment, then chuckles. “With my lifestyle, yes. Probably fried my swimmers years ago with the heat from my engine. Look, I’ll just go get cleaned up. I’ll bring back a cloth.”
He disappears into the bathroom. When he’s gone for a few minutes, I suspect he’s taking some time to think, as I do myself. It’s impossible, isn’t it? But what if it’s not? How can I, at my age, have a baby and bring up a kid? Grumbler wouldn’t want a child, that’s for sure. Technically, he’d be old enough to be its great-grandfather.
It’s ten minutes later as told by my bedside clock when he returns with the promised washcloth and, after cleaning me up, disappears yet again. This time, he’s back immediately. He climbs into his side of the bed, lies back, then holds out his arm in invitation.
I hesitate just for a moment, then snuggle into him. He smells wood-smoky—there’s a background tinge of cigarette, all wrapped up in the masculine pheromones of sweat and sex. The combination is heady, just because it’s him.
“If you’re worried there could be an outcome of tonight, there’s the morning-after pill. I could go and get it for you.”
“You want me to take it, in case?”
Grumbler shifts me until I’m half lying on him. “Been thinking, babe. And not just now. Nah, thoughts have been creeping up on me. I never wanted an old lady, couldn’t see the point. Now I know it was just because I hadn’t met the right woman as yet. I’d decided earlier that you were mine, and that I was going to claim you.”
“You decided, huh?” I should be annoyed, but the way he’s said it makes me feel warm and protected instead, and my objections are more for show than genuine.
“I decided. Yes.” He’s unrepentant.
“Because I let you into my bed?”
He sniggers. “Nope. Plenty of women would do that. But not many would talk to me, or that I’d like it when they did. We’ve got a good friendship going, babe, from the day we first met. Told myself I came here to find out details on the photographer so I could track him down, when I hadn’t even explored other options. If I’m truthful, I jumped at the chance to see you again even if I hadn’t admitted that to myself.”
He’s right. We have been friends. Not for long, but long enough that I know we do click. The way he is with Alicia, had impressed me. He’s shown a patience with her that I wouldn’t have expected, and I can’t forget he was the one she’d run to when she couldn’t face me.
“I’m uncertain what you’re saying.” He said claimed, but what meaning does that have for him?
“That you’re my ol’ lady. In my world, that’s as good as being my wife.”
“Did we get married? I don’t remember it.”
“Funny,” he replies. “But yeah, I’d put a ring on your finger, if that’s what you need. It’s happened fast, but life’s too short not to go after what you want. And, I decided that before I came to your bed, darlin’. Before I’d even tried you out.” He winks.
I bat at him with my hand. “Before?”
“Before I knew we were more than compatible in bed. Before, well, before my carelessness left us with possible consequences. You asked me if I wanted you to make sure there were no ramifications from tonight? Surprised the heck out of myself when I came down on the side of chance. Might be the lifestyle I lead, living on the edge, but hell, if you’re pregnant, it is what it is. Never expected to have kids, never was against the idea either. It just never came up. You pregnant? Well, I’m not sure it’s for the best. I’ve got my best years behind me, and, while I’m too much of a gentleman to mention your age, it would take a toll on your body. So, I think it’s for you to make the choice, and I’ll be right here by your side whatever you choose. And here for a baby, if one exists.”
“It’s highly unlikely, Grumbler.” A baby? At my age? Grumbler’s right. It would take a toll on my body and for a very long time. Having a baby ties you down. “Kids aren’t easy, Grumbler. They’re hard work. They—”
“Shit, puke, scream, and grow into teenagers. Yeah, I can guess. But if I have to, I reckon I could change a diaper. I’m used to handling shit.” He nuzzles the top of my head.
He’s leaving the decision to me. I couldn’t ask for more. But just how involved would he want to be with a baby? Would I end up on my own when Grumbler found it too hard to deal with? I should be looking forward to the time when any infant in my future was
