Sophia had now become quieter and more sullen and always with a faraway look in her eye. Karen was making occasional small talk, aimed at no one in particular, and Mini was her usual self, if not a little more restrained, I thought, or maybe I was imagining it. I had thought about the pregnancy test a lot over the last few days and after I had seen Steve and Sophia in the kitchen together, I wondered if he had confided in Sophia and it was indeed Karen who was pregnant. It would certainly explain her mood swings.
Sophia sat up and took her glasses off. ‘Hey, how did the call go?’ and even though she had said it quietly, Karen’s ears pricked up.
‘What call?’ she asked and I felt a surge of annoyance at Sophia for bringing up our conversation.
Sophia sat up and pushed her sunglasses onto the top of her head. ‘Regi has spotted some unusual behaviour next door, and so she phoned social services,’ Sophia whispered.
‘What do you mean, “unusual”?’ Mini sat forward, picking up the whispering vibes and following suit.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, silently scolding Sophia who was usually more discreet with things I had told her.
‘Well,’ I began, ‘I have heard a lot of crying recently and I witnessed some quite abrupt behaviour from the mother to the boy,’ I said, keeping my voice low.
‘I’ve never heard any crying – I didn’t even know there was a kid next door,’ Mini said.
‘That’s what I mean. He is never allowed outside, he just hovers on the perimeter of the doorway and his mum drags him inside with such force.’
‘How do you know? How can you see?’ Mini asked.
My heart quickened. I couldn’t tell them I had slipped through the hedge into their garden. ‘I have a pretty good view of their patio from my room. I saw the kid’s feet and the mum shouting and then the door was slammed.’
‘Well, the little brat probably deserved it,’ Karen said, sneezing into a wad of tissue. ‘Bloody kids. I’m never having any. The world is overpopulated as it is.’
I sat up, shocked by what Karen had said. I had been convinced she was pregnant. I had presumed it was all hormones. Clearly, I was wrong and she really did have it in for me. Unless she was playing a game with herself, perhaps some sort of denial. Or maybe she had got rid of it already?
‘Well, let us know when you hear back,’ Sophia said, putting her glasses back on and settling back in her chair.
I felt an unease growing. Everything felt out of sync because of what Sophia had made me share with the other girls. Why had she been so insensitive?
‘Right.’ I stood up, receiving a fluttering of interest. ‘I’m going to cook – I’m going to go to the supermarket and make us all some dinner. Is everyone okay with a stir fry? Meat free obviously,’ I said, paying my homage to their days-of-the-week food schedule.
‘As long as you get prawn crackers and make egg fried rice.’ Karen’s voice still had an edge to it.
‘Well, I’m sure I can manage that,’ I said amiably.
As all the girls were in the garden, I took advantage of the privacy of the hall to open and close the door six times before I left. I had been feeling the effects of the conversation I hadn’t wanted to have with all three girls about the boy next door. I needed the walk to try to alleviate some of the stress and fear.
I trotted down the steps and onto the path. The sun was beating down still, even though it was after five. I started running through a mental shopping list, trying to tally it up with things that I knew I had in the fridge and cupboard. Would I need to buy ginger? There was a nugget at the bottom of the fridge, but was it good enough or was it probably covered in mould by now? I knew I was really trying to distract myself from the thoughts that had started to build up in my mind that I no longer knew where to store. I could feel the past hurtling back towards me like a runaway train I knew I would never be able to stop. It would simply run me over. I was powerless.
Suddenly, as though I had willed it, I was knocked from my feet. I was stumbling to my left, unable to right my footing. As I tumbled to the ground, I could hear voices all around me. Then I felt the force of a hand on my wrist, then another hand grabbed my shoulder. I could smell the aftershave, the scent that was still so familiar after all these years. I opened my eyes for a second and saw the peak of a baseball cap and bare arms in a white T-shirt, exposing firm biceps. I tried to break free but it was no good, the grip was firm this time, the pain searing through my arms into my shoulder.
I could hear a voice, but it was soft. They were asking me something – I could hear the tone, even if I couldn’t quite hear the words, which sounded very far away as though they were coming from another dimension, or a dream.
‘Just leave me alone.’ I heard the words, but I wasn’t sure they were coming from me.
