‘Hang on,’ he said into the phone. ‘Love, are you okay? You’ve been nonresponsive for over a minute, I’m just on the phone to the emergency services.’
‘I…’ I looked around me in the street where a couple of people had stopped and gathered. I looked again in front of me. A tall, well-built man in shorts and black T-shirt, with a blue bandana covering thick dark hair and thin white headphones hung around his neck, was talking on his mobile.
Then it all began to click into place.
‘I fell,’ I said quietly, suddenly more aware of the small crowd forming.
‘Well, technically I knocked you over. I tripped on something and stumbled into you. I knocked you over. I’m terribly sorry. Is there anything I can do, are you okay? I have the emergency services right here?’ He pointed to his phone. ‘Shall I get someone to come out to you?’
I shook my head firmly.
‘No, no, I’m absolutely fine, I promise. Just a little shaken.’
After many more minutes of reassuring the man, who introduced himself as Marcus, that I was okay, I walked the few hundred yards back to the house.
I pushed open the front door and saw Karen, who had been heading upstairs, turn and look at me.
‘Oh, you’re back. Did you forget your purse?’
I stood in the middle of the hallway, unable to say anything.
There was a flash of concern across Karen’s face.
‘Hold on, I’ll get Soph.’ She turned round and went back down the stairs and through towards the garden.
I was still standing rooted to the spot when Sophia arrived and took my arm and gently escorted me into the lounge and onto a chair.
‘Can you get her some water?’ she said to Karen. I could hear Mini’s voice in the background.
‘What’s happened? Were you mugged? Was she mugged?’
Sophia was looking me up and down. ‘You’ve a small scrape on your left arm here.’
Karen came back with the water and gave it to Sophia, who handed it to me as she sunk into the sofa next to me.
‘I guess this means no dinner,’ Karen grumbled. Just as she left the room I heard, ‘She really does need to get some therapy, you know.’
‘Ignore her,’ Sophia said.
‘Maybe she’s right.’ I spoke for the first time, my words sounding croaky and hoarse. I told her about the knock I had received. It was an accident, a jogger stumbling on a crack in the pavement, yet I had felt threat. I had felt danger. I explained what had happened to Sophia, omitting the part where I was back in my past, where angry hands were pulling at my wrists.
‘Well, as long as you’ve not injured yourself too much. But I have been worried about you. I wondered if perhaps, you know, the whole thing with the neighbour’s kid was some kind of, I dunno… I’m no therapist. It’s just after you said he reminded you of your child, I wondered if that was a psychological thing, that you are pushing your maternal instincts onto that kid, because of the resemblance.’
I shook my head; I didn’t know any more. I just knew my nights were haunted by crying and that there was a child next door that no one else had seen or heard except me.
I thanked Sophia for the water and excused myself to go to my room.
My bedroom was stifling hot, so I inched open the window just enough to bring a bit of light relief into the air. Along with the air came a flurry of voices. It was different to what I had heard of late. I peered out of the window and over into next door’s garden to see a woman dressed in a black trouser suit with wild blonde curly hair. She was smiling and heading back into the house. Was that the social worker? They had said that someone would be looking into it for me and they had thanked me for my concern, but I hadn’t expected them to be there so fast. Looking at the expression on her face, she wasn’t showing any concern.
I pulled out my phone and went to Instagram. On my profile page there was something I had never seen before. A small red triangle – it looked like a paper plane – was in the corner. I clicked on it and it took me through to a single message. I gasped when I saw that the name on the message was from lucybest65.
I hesitated for some time, too scared to click it open. I was intrigued to know why she had sent me a direct message rather than reply to my comment on the post, which made me even more nervous. She could be saying something really mean and I wasn’t sure I was in the right mindset to hear something unkind. I finally gave in to temptation. Took a deep breath and clicked on the message.
Now I have your attention. You need to be a bit wiser.
What? I had no idea what she meant by that. Was that a threat? Should I respond with a comeback or ask for more clarification? Was she trying to get me on her side?
I came out of the message only to be notified of more matches on the dating app. I had a quick flick through and began to feel physically sick at the prospect of meeting people and dating. What I needed was
