I gulped. ‘God. No.’
‘Cos I saw you in the summerhouse the night of the party.’
‘We were just talking. I don’t really remember, to be honest, anyway. The point is, if there is something he has on his mind, it’s only fair he shares it with you. Tell him he has a couple of days to mull it over and then he has to be square with you. Life is too…’ I stopped myself from saying the final word. I hated it, I hated admitting that life was too short when I had experienced how short it could be. ‘Life should be spent with the person you know loves you as much as you love them. I can see you love Steve a lot and if he doesn’t love you, then he needs to make that absolutely clear and not mess you around. Do not let him mess you around,’ I said and got back up and carried on cleaning the fridge.
Karen let out a long sigh.
I had just picked up the spray gun and was about to clean the final bottom shelf when I heard her softly say, ‘Thank you, you’re a good friend.’
I felt something swell inside of me, a sort of gratitude. I knew I hadn’t felt the same closeness with Karen as I had with Sophia and even Mini, so it felt good to know I wasn’t just a source of her continued grievance.
I was just thinking of something suitably friendly to say back to her when the doorbell rang through the hallway. I looked at Karen.
‘I can’t go looking like this,’ she said. Sophia would still be in bed – she didn’t seem to rise before nine these days. I had no idea where Mini was.
‘Right,’ I said and I went to the door. Don’t do it, I heard the words from my past. But I would do it anyway, to be on the safe side because the uncertainty of not knowing who was behind the door had made my mouth go dry, so I unlocked and locked six times before I opened the door and found myself face to face with Will. I must have exhibited a myriad of expressions as I tried to fathom why he was here before 9 a.m. on a Sunday. I knew I must have looked like hell on a stick and that, oh my God, I lifted my hands and saw I was still wearing the Marigolds. Will began to laugh. I realised how much I had missed that laugh and that smile. It had been over a week since I had last seen him.
‘Very fetching. Have I caught you at a bad time? You didn’t have your hand down the loo or anything?’
I laughed, despite myself.
‘No, not quite that rank, just giving the fridge a once over.’
Will sucked in his breath. ‘Well, as riveting as that is, I wondered if I could drag you away to join me for a coffee at the new artisan place in town. I was headed there myself – they do great coffees and pancakes, so I’m told.’
‘New artisan place? I haven’t heard of it.’
‘Trust me, it’s real. I wouldn’t make it up just to pull you into the streets this early on a Sunday morning.’
I heard a scuff on the floorboards behind me and I threw a glance over my shoulder. Mini was standing wide-eyed with a wry smile in duck-egg-blue cotton pyjamas, her hair tousled up on her head.
‘Hello,’ she said in her most angelic voice.
‘Oh, hi there, I’m Will.’ Will gave a quick wave. ‘Sorry to disturb so early.’
‘Don’t mind me,’ she said unable to stifle the giggle that came out as she scooted off towards the kitchen to gossip about me to Karen, no doubt. But Karen would be in no mood for gossiping about men.
I looked around awkwardly to make sure no other house mates were loitering where they shouldn’t be.
‘I just need to, um, freshen up. I’ll be five minutes, do you want to…’ I gestured towards the house.
‘No, no,’ Will said firmly. ‘I’ll wait out here, I’m enjoying the fresh air.’ He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around enthusiastically.
I widened my eyes and gave a small smile.
‘Okay, great. Gimme five.’ I closed the door and immediately ripped off the Marigolds. What must Will have thought of me in them?
I raced up the stairs, dropping the Marigolds on the way. I knew I would need to perform the full repertoire of behaviours after the shock of Will turning up unannounced. I brushed my teeth, counting to thirty-four even though I was sure I had done them already.
The bedsheets hadn’t been stripped, so I ripped off the day-old sheets and threw them in the corner. I swapped my T-shirt and leggings I had put on this morning to have a good cleaning session in for light-blue skinny jeans and a baggy white T-shirt. I sprayed on some deodorant, ran a brush through my hair, rubbed some tinted moisturiser into my face and applied a little lip gloss. Will said there was a chill to the air, so I pulled on a grey chunky cardigan. I took a deep breath. There were a few pound coins on the bedside table, so I quickly lined them up, then closed and locked the door to my room six times before letting myself out. It was the most behaviours I had ever performed in such a short space of time, and I felt full with satisfaction. Nothing bad could possibly happen now.
Once downstairs, I tried to bring my heart rate down as I took slow breaths. I had already gone over the promised five minutes. I opened the door and saw Will leaning casually on next door’s front wall, his hands in his pockets. I stole a look towards the top-floor window and saw the flicker of a blind.
‘Come on,’ I said as I began walking at speed.
‘You
