“You wanted me to go. I’m giving you what you want. So get off my ass.”
“You scared I’m going to kick your ass?”
“No.”
“Then what are you scared of?” Ed demanded, his fists still in front of his face. The set determination on Ed’s face, the way he held his shoulders, every line of his body, told Sammy that Ed was ready for a real fight.
“Fuck. Everything.”
“What?”
“Every fucking thing, okay?”
“What?” Ed blinked. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Aren’t you afraid? Isn’t that why you took off without a fucking word to anybody? Don’t tell me you’re not.”
“I…”
“Just be honest. You’re fucking terrified.”
“Stop acting like we’re alike. We’re not. We’re…”
“What’s your number?”
Ed’s shoulders slumped, but he didn’t lower his fists. “I told you. I’ll go when they call me.”
“What is it?”
“My birthday is the eighteenth of February. Eighth in the draft order.”
Sammy winced. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know.”
“What’s yours?”
“January eighth. Three-hundred and forty-first in the order.”
“Well,” Ed sneered, “that’s just great, isn’t it?”
“Fighting with me isn’t going to change anything.”
“What will?”
The question stopped Sammy. They stared at each other for a long beat before he finally said, “Nothing. Nothing is going to change this. This shit…all of it…is out of our hands.”
“Then what the hell are we supposed to do?”
The corner of Sammy’s mouth lifted. “Be smart enough to get out of the rain, maybe?”
“Yeah.” Ed released a shaky breath. “Yeah, maybe that would be a good start.”
Chapter 3
The second time they wedged into the back of the station wagon, Ed didn’t have any thought of leaving again. The cold had seeped through his flesh, spreading like icy spider webs, until his joints were stiff. Even though they were sitting in the middle of the desert, he was quite sure he’d never be warm again. Goose bumps covered his arms, and it was all he could do to keep his teeth from chattering. He had a jacket in the backseat, and there was an old blanket, but neither one of those things would actually be helpful in making him dry and warm. He shouldn’t have left the relative safety of the car, but the thought of Sammy wandering off into the wet night drove him out of the station wagon.
“You should get out of those clothes,” Sammy murmured, his eyes averted.
“What about you?”
“Maybe I should, too.”
“It’d be easier if I drove a van.”
“We’d probably not be in this situation if you drove a van.”
“Maybe I should buy a van in Wendover.”
“It might be cheaper than a new alternator.”
Ed smiled a little and pulled the wet shirt over his head. It slowly peeled from his skin, the rough material dragging over his nipples. The windows were already starting to fog up, and Sammy mimicked him. Though they were both shivering, Ed knew that if they pressed their bodies together, the heat would overwhelm them.
“I’m sorry about your face,” Ed said, tossing the shirt over the seat. “That didn’t come out right.”
“It’s okay. I hit you first. How’s your lip, by the way?” Sammy leaned closer and touched the corner of Ed’s mouth with his thumb. “Did I hurt you?”
“It hurts a little.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have grabbed your shoulder. It’s not a…it’s no big deal.”
Ed spoke without looking away from Sammy’s face. His eyes were both swollen—courtesy of Ed’s head—and his mouth had finally stopped bleeding, but it was stained pink. He had no doubt that Sammy planned to kiss him, but this time, the thought didn’t send him spiraling out of control.
“Yeah, but…who else would be grabbing my shoulder out here? I was angry and…”
“And I made you that way because I was a jerk.” Ed leaned closer. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it.”
“I know you didn’t.”
“Did you mean what you said to me? Earlier?”
“Everything I told you is true. I don’t know if that’s the answer you wanted to hear.”
“It is.” Ed smiled. “I think.”
Sammy returned his smile. It wasn’t as carefree as it had been before. And it would probably never be that carefree again. But it was still one of the nicest smiles Ed had ever seen. Even with the traces of blood on his teeth and his swollen lip. A drop of water caught on his skin, and Ed wiped it away, smearing it across Sammy’s pink lip. Sammy didn’t seem to be breathing, and Ed couldn’t remember the last time he filled his lungs with air. He was drowning in the middle of the desert.
There was only one reasonable thing to do. Without taking his much needed breath, he touched his lips to Sammy’s.
The number of people he’d kissed in his life was no more than a handful. And most of those caresses had been shy, fumbling, and awkward. This was shy, fumbling, and awkward. It was half meant as an apology, for the way he had behaved earlier. And it was half of a question. Fortunately, Sammy responded with an answer. His lips parted, and the taste of copper on his mouth didn’t deter Ed from sliding his tongue against Sammy’s.
A moan resonated through both of them, and Ed couldn’t tell where it had originated. Only that he felt it deep in his chest. Sammy wrapped his arm around Ed’s waist, pulling him until their bodies were flush, their naked chests cold and hot against each other at the same time. Ed’s soaked jeans felt even more constricting on his hips as his cock stiffened, and he didn’t know how he was going to escape them. There wasn’t enough room in the back to kick free, and the material was clinging to him, and the zipper dug into the tender skin at the tip of his cock.
I should have done this earlier. I should have been doing this for years.
All those long hours he had spent on Sammy’s family farm would have been far more bearable if he had had this waiting for him.
