It was a long drive from the northern Lake District to Kendal but they decided to take the scenic route. Every turn of the road brought a fresh panorama. The mountain tops were all white with snow, and even the lower fells had a dusting of snow on them. Their drive took them past Thirlmere with its dark pine-covered slopes and over the high pass at Dunmail before Grasmere came into view, with its church and Wordsworth’s cottage just outside the village.
A while later, they stopped for coffee in the bustling little town of Ambleside in the heart of the Lakes. Jay had mentioned his parents lived there and found herself imagining which of the cottages straggling up the fellside might be theirs. Finally, they reached Kendal, with the girls fidgeting in the back, desperate to be unleashed on the shops.
Kendal was hardly Oxford Street, but its main street held intriguing shops selling everything from luxury lingerie to pots and pans. The old buildings mostly dated back to the eighteenth century, with coaching inns and cafés tucked away in cobbled alleys.
Steph already had a dress and Lottie had found something in one of the boutiques in town. Steph treated herself to some dangly earrings and they bought some extra decorations that the girls couldn’t resist.
With lunch in the town’s famous chocolate shop, it had been a fun and relaxing day for everyone, but Steph was looking tired. Lottie didn’t like to keep on and on asking how her sister was. She hoped Steph would tell her if she was concerned about anything. However, while the girls were choosing some Christmas chocolate from the display to give to their teacher, she took her chance.
‘Are you OK?’ she asked.
‘Fine.’ Steph smiled, then shook her head. ‘Except, I’m not really fine.’
Lottie’s stomach turned over. ‘What’s the matter? You haven’t had any more symptoms?’
‘No. I don’t think so but every ache or pain, any tiny thing, makes me think that it’s come back. I can’t help it and although my Macmillan nurse said it’s normal to worry, it doesn’t stop me from being terrified if I feel sick or that something’s not quite “right” even though I know it’s probably only the effects of the treatment. Still, I’ll know soon enough.’ Steph toyed with her teaspoon. ‘I finally had the letter yesterday morning inviting me for an MRI scan to double-check the cancer hasn’t spread anywhere else. The scan is December eleventh and then I have an appointment with the gynaecologist before I can get the all clear.’ She heaved a sigh. ‘If I get the all clear.’
‘You will. I know you will,’ Lottie exclaimed. ‘I want to magic all your worries away but you can always tell me anything. If you want to talk, or simply rant and rave or cry, I’m here. You do know that?’
‘Hon, of course I do but sometimes I just need to curl in a ball and cry and I don’t want to pile my fear onto you every time I have a little wobble. You have a life too, and it makes me happy to see you living it. My nurse said I can phone or email any time too. I don’t know what I’d have done without her.’
Lottie rested her hand on Steph’s. ‘I’ll come with you to your scan and appointment.’
‘No, please don’t. It’s a busy time for you.’
‘Shayla will understand,’ Lottie said firmly.
‘I’ll be fine, honest. If I change my mind, I’ll let you know. I won’t know anything on the day of the scan, anyway, but I might need some moral support when I go to find out the results.’ Steph gave her a stern look. ‘Now, please, can we talk about something else? Like this party and whether you and Jay will get together properly?’
‘I haven’t seen him since Wednesday, not properly,’ Lottie said. ‘We’ve both been really busy.’
Steph’s ears pricked up. ‘Why? What happened on Wednesday?’
‘Oh, we just went to the pub with the rest of the Firholme gang,’ Lottie said, deciding not to go into the drama of Jay’s brother and love life. She suspected that Jay wouldn’t want her to share that very personal story even with Steph. They also hadn’t spoken more than a few words of greeting since then and she was beginning to wonder if Jay regretted pouring out his heart to her.
‘Mummy!’ Jodie skipped up to them, interrupting any talk about Jay, which was probably for the best. ‘Come and look at this chocolate. It’s purple!’
‘Purple chocolate? Surely not?’
Myra grabbed Lottie’s hand. ‘It really is. We want to get some for Miss Langley!’
‘You go,’ Lottie said, ‘while I get the bill.’
Steph took the girls to look at the chocolate display, which Lottie knew included some lavender-flavoured treats. Watching them chattering and laughing with Steph, Lottie had a wobbly moment. They were so trusting, so unaware of how fragile life was. Steph was understandably terrified, no matter how much she tried to hide it, and Lottie couldn’t work out if she was looking tired because of the worry or because something was actually wrong. Lottie herself was trying to be optimistic but what if Steph’s MRI scan wasn’t clear and she had to have more treatment – or worse, couldn’t have treatment at all?
She went to pay the bill and reminded herself that they’d all got through
