After helping to clear up the ballroom, he’d headed to the tree centre, churning over what he’d heard about Lottie and Connor.
Helping out Steph and Lottie had stopped him from having any more than the couple of beers and glass of champagne he’d had with dinner. That was, however, the only consolation.
A night that had been fizzing over with promise had turned as flat as the dregs in the discarded flutes. He felt he’d taken one step forward and two back. He’d had a great time with Lottie. She’d looked incredible, felt even more amazing in his arms, and as for that kiss – it sent chills through him even now, in the cold light of day. He’d wanted to whisk her off to his cottage right there and then. It wasn’t only physical feelings she’d reawakened, it was hope and trust.
That prospect seemed very remote this morning.
What troubled him was the revelation about Connor. Now when he looked back, he could see the tension between them. It was obvious that Connor and Lottie had been together, and he had dumped her. Now he was engaged to another woman and allowing Lottie to arrange his wedding. Jesus, if there was an Olympic event for being a tosser, Connor would win the gold with a world record.
If Jay had thought that was the end of things, he could have accepted it but there was an elephant in the room he couldn’t ignore.
The news they’d been so close threw a new and unpleasant light on the moment he’d found them together in the Bothy. Lottie had seemed guilty and upset. Was that because she was still in love with the man? However much of an arse Connor was, Lottie might still have strong feelings for him, and having to arrange his wedding must have unearthed painful memories, and maybe even made Connor have second thoughts too. As Jay knew all too well, feelings for someone you’d loved and trusted could linger way longer than you expected or wanted. Love wouldn’t be dismissed to order, the disappointment – the grief – at the betrayal of a partner was hard to overcome.
His thoughts were interrupted by Kerr slouching into the marquee, holding a large mug of black coffee.
‘Oh God, not a full day of Slade and the Darkness,’ he moaned. ‘I had enough of that last night and why does it have to be so bloody loud?’
‘It’s not loud,’ said Jay wryly. ‘It’s normal volume.’
‘If you say so … um … did you happen to see Lottie this morning?’
Jay frowned. ‘I saw her while we were clearing up the ballroom. Why?’
‘I wondered how her sister is after last night. I never got her number before she took ill.’
‘Oh …’ Jay was taken aback. He hadn’t realised his deputy fancied Steph but he didn’t want to mention her cancer in case she hadn’t told Kerr so he fudged an answer. ‘Um. She’s OK, according to Lottie. I think she’s er – on some medication and overdid the champagne a bit.’
‘Thank God for that. I’ve been worried. She’s a lovely woman.’
Jay almost fainted. This was high praise from Kerr … but did he mean Lottie or Steph?
‘Well, I’m glad she’s OK,’ he said, more carefully. Jay could almost see the cogs turning in his mind.
‘I’m sure Lottie could tell you more about her sister …’ Jay said, amused by his deputy’s attempts not to seem too interested in Steph’s wellbeing. ‘Why don’t you ask her?’
‘I might just do that,’ Kerr said then added quickly: ‘But there’s work to be done, even if I feel like I’ve woken up in a Christmas prison camp where we’re doomed to serve a lifetime of festive servitude.’
‘Prison? This is the season of goodwill,’ Jay said. ‘Come on – smile. The public will be here soon and they’re expecting happy people. Where’s your Santa hat?’
‘Dunno. Must have lost it yesterday,’ Kerr growled.
‘That’s OK, you can have mine.’ Jay pulled his hat off and handed it over.
Kerr looked at it in disgust. ‘It’s too big.’
‘You cheeky bugger!’ Jay was forced to smile.
Kerr laughed then groaned. ‘Ouch, that hurt my head.’
‘Serves you right.’
A couple of other workers shuffled into the marquee, looking like they’d spent the night in a badger’s hole.
He clapped his hands and felt the collective wince. ‘Come on. I know you all partied hard last night and the last thing you feel like is spreading peace and joy but we have a job to do. Drink as much water and coffee as you need to get through the shift, and remember however bad you’re feeling, it was self-inflicted.’ He added a grin, though he felt even less joyful than the staff. ‘It’s not the Night of the Living Dead. It’s Christmas!’
They trudged off, leaving Jay alone with his thoughts again, none of them pleasant.
The reason Connor looked so at ease in Lottie’s cottage was because Connor and Lottie had lived together, shared a home and a bed. The way he’d dismissed Jay was because he was, consciously or otherwise, telling him to back off. Connor still felt that Lottie was his, which meant he might even be having regrets about marrying Keegan.
Did Lottie feel the same about Connor?
He could ask her, of course. He knew how he felt, despite everything. He was in love with Lottie. He should swallow his pride and ask her how she really felt about Connor – and him. If only he had the courage … The problem was that he’d already fallen hard for Lottie and he wasn’t sure he could risk being hurt all over again.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ten days to the wedding
Setting out the chairs in the ballroom on the Wednesday after the ball, the last thing Lottie felt like facing was a wedding run-through with Keegan and Connor. The subterfuge was killing her. Jay had barely spoken to her since Sunday – and she could hardly blame him after betraying
