‘It’s Seb. He’s in intensive care. It’s meningitis and they’re not sure he’ll make it.’
Chapter Forty
Lottie virtually dragged him into the hall. ‘Oh God, I’m so sorry. Come in, out of the rain.’
It was then Jay realised that his face wasn’t wet because of rain but from tears of shock. He rubbed his hand over his eyes. ‘Sorry. Dad only called a few minutes ago. I ignored all of Ben’s calls … That’s why my dad had to phone me. Oh God, Lottie, what have I done?’
She didn’t hesitate. ‘Nothing, but you can do something now. I’ll drive you to the hospital in the truck. Get your coat.’
‘I – do you really think they’ll want me there?’ Jay seemed frozen. ‘I’m desperate to go but he’s not my little boy. Jesus they must be out of their minds. They might lose him.’
‘Would you want them at your side?’
‘Yes. Yes. Of course!’
‘Then you have your answer. I’ll take you now.’ She held his arms, looking into his face. ‘Come on, let’s go.’
Grabbing her own coat, she herded him out of the door and into his cottage where Trevor was watching them from his blanket on the carpet. Trevor sat up with a hopeful whine.
‘Not this time, Trevor,’ Lottie said, ruffling his ears. She found Jay’s jacket, ‘Put it on,’ she ordered.
Minutes later, Jay was hunched in the passenger seat, staring zombie-like out of the front window.
‘Do you know when Seb was taken ill? Ben didn’t say anything last night,’ she said, steering the truck smoothly out of the gates and onto the public road.
‘No …’ Jay was crushed by the story his dad had told him. ‘Apparently Seb was a bit under the weather last night though Nadia thought it was just a cold.’
‘Oh no.’ Lottie’s knuckles whitened on the wheel.
‘Seb seemed better this morning but then he went downhill after dinner and developed a rash this afternoon. They called an ambulance and it rushed him off to hospital. They must be out of their minds with worry.’
‘He’s in the best hands.’ She steered the truck between the dry-stone walls of a narrow lane that was a short cut to the A road. The wipers swished furiously, barely coping with the rain.
‘What if it’s not enough?’
‘You have to hope it will be. They’ll be doing absolutely everything to save him.’
‘But they might not be able to. You know that, Lottie.’
‘Try not to think the worst. Ben needs you to be strong and positive for him. If something terrible happens, then he’s going to need you to be even stronger.’
‘Poor Nadia,’ he murmured, thinking of the agony his ex must be going through. ‘No one deserves this … and oh God, my mum and dad will be beside themselves with worry.’
‘All the more reason for you to be there to support them.’
It was an agonising journey, made worse by the roads being so wet. Lottie did brilliantly with the strange vehicle, but they couldn’t risk rushing too much and at one point, she had to negotiate through a flooded section.
On the journey, Jay texted his parents and received a reply from his father, saying they were ‘hoping for the best’, whatever that meant. He guessed his dad was putting on a brave face for the rest of the family. Seb was their first and only grandchild, unexpected – and his arrival had split the family apart – but he was also Jay’s flesh and blood, and precious.
Lottie offered to stay, but Jay thought she might be there all night and he persuaded her to go home and get some sleep. He knew he’d have none. When Lottie dropped him off outside the hospital, he took a few moments to steel himself. He didn’t even know if his little nephew was still alive but he tried to hold on to Lottie’s words: his family needed someone to offer hope and strength, and if, God forbid, the worst happened, Lottie was right, they’d need him even more.
When she’d asked him if he’d want Ben with him, if he’d been in the same situation, he hadn’t hesitated. No matter what had happened, he loved them. He always had even if that love had lain buried under an avalanche of disappointment and bitterness.
None of it mattered now. He’d go through it a thousand times again if Seb could live.
Even as he thought it, he realised that bargains like that were futile.
He gave his name at the desk and was sent up to the paediatric ICU where a nurse told him Seb was still critical and showed him into a side room. His parents leapt up from their chairs and his mum flew into his arms and sobbed. His dad stood by, grim-faced, while Jay attempted to soothe his mother, although all he could do was let her cry, and keep saying, ‘He’ll be OK. I know he will,’ while his mother cried herself out.
A couple of hours later, Jay went to get everyone a cup of tea but before he reached the machine, Ben emerged from the ICU. He looked like a broken man, grey-faced, and exhausted.
Jay experienced the worst moment of his life: one that eclipsed the moment he’d found out Seb wasn’t his. One far darker and more terrifying than he had ever known.
He froze before meeting his brother. ‘Ben?’ was the only word he could squeeze from his paralysed throat.
‘He’s turned the c-corner,’ Ben said. ‘He’s not out of danger but he’s responding well.’
Ben’s arms hung by his sides but Jay didn’t hesitate. He flung his arms around his brother and held him more tightly than he’d ever held him before. Ben sobbed like a baby, and Jay let his own tears flow.
‘Mate,’ he said softly, releasing Ben. ‘I’m more relieved than you can ever know but for God’s sake don’t let Mum and Dad see us like this. Go and tell them now, put them out of
