‘Will you come with me? Nadia’s still with Seb.’
‘Course I will, if you want me to.’
Ben hugged him again, so hard, it took Jay’s breath away. ‘Thank you for coming. Thank you so much.’
It was early morning before his parents went home for a few hours’ rest. Seb had continued to improve and was out of immediate danger. Jay had texted Lottie with an update on Seb’s progress and asked her to look after Trevor for him.
Now morning was breaking, he decided it would be safe to go home himself. He was exhausted and in desperate need of a shower. He headed down the corridor. He could call Ben and Nadia later.
Ben saw him. ‘Jay, wait!’
Ben thudded up behind him. ‘Please don’t rush off.’
‘Seb’s out of danger.’
‘Thank you for being here for us. It means so much to me. To us – Nadia and me.’
‘You don’t have to thank me. You’re family. All of you.’
Ben patted his back. ‘That means the world to us. This is probably not the time but please hear me out. When I told you to move on, I didn’t understand why you wouldn’t forgive me. Well, I’ve tried to understand and I don’t blame you. I came to accept you’d never see or speak to me again, that I’ve hurt you in the worst way I possibly could. I’m sorry. I can’t undo the past.’ He paused for breath. ‘Like you said, I don’t wish to undo anything I did because that would mean I wouldn’t have Seb. I would die for him, Jay.’
‘I know you would,’ Jay said. ‘I would for you too – and for him if it would have helped. He’s my family.’
Ben was on the verge of tears again. ‘I don’t deserve a brother like you.’
‘C’mon,’ Jay said. ‘I’m only human, mate, and it’s time we both put all of that behind us. I want to start my life again.’
Ben nodded and that ‘big brother’ glint appeared in his eyes, signalling he’d winkled out one of Jay’s secrets. ‘Does this fresh start involve Lottie by any chance?’
There was no point hiding. ‘I don’t know if she’ll have me after the way I’ve treated her. I’ve probably blown my chances, letting all this … crap between us fester and blind me to any kind of future.’
With mock solemnity, Ben laid his hand on Jay’s shoulder. ‘Bro, don’t you think you should be telling her this, not me?’
‘Yes. I probably should.’
Ben hugged him, slapping his back. Jay held him, and his heart soared at the return of some of the warmth and love he used to feel for his brother. He’d spent a long, lonely time in the cold wilderness but he was home now. Almost home …
He thought of Lottie, waiting for his call to say he needed a lift from the hospital – but Jay had other plans.
Chapter Forty-One
Lottie’s heart missed several beats when she saw Jay standing on her doorstep in the pouring rain, until she spotted the smile beneath the dark eyes and pallor.
She let him in, desperate for an update. She’d been waiting for his call but had only received texts saying things were going well and Jay had decided to get a taxi home.
She took him straight into the kitchen, which was warm from the Aga. ‘Any more news of Seb?’ she asked.
‘He’s still doing well and out of ICU. I got back a couple of hours ago and just had a kip and a shower.’
‘Have you had anything to eat?’
He shook his head. ‘Not yet. I wanted to let you know how Seb was and to thank you for taking me to the hospital. I wouldn’t have been safe to drive.’
‘It was the least I could do. Let me make you some breakfast.’
‘Great. Thanks.’
After sitting him down at the kitchen table with a coffee, she got a pack of bacon from the fridge. She guessed he might want to talk about more than Seb but that could come in his own good time.
She turned on the gas under the frying pan, thinking of something undemanding to talk about while Jay collected his thoughts. He looked absolutely done in. ‘I sent the video of Keegan and her reindeer to the twins,’ she said, laying rashers in the pan.
‘Were they impressed?’
‘Of course. They loved it.’
She leaned against the work top while the rashers sizzled, filling the air with a sweet tang.
‘I’m glad.’ He wrinkled his nose. ‘God, that smells good. I’m starving.’
‘No wonder. You’ve had a hellish night.’
He shuddered. ‘I never want to go through anything like that again.’
Lottie added another rasher to the pan for good measure.
‘Is there anything I can do?’ he asked above the hiss of frying bacon.
‘You could slice some bread from the loaf. I’ve had some toast so just do yourself some.’
A few minutes later, she piled crispy bacon onto doorsteps of sourdough and found him a bottle of Daddies sauce. After making herself a fresh coffee, she joined him at the table. It gave her a lot of pleasure to watch him devour the sandwich, and to see the colour returning to his cheeks.
He’d had a massive shock, and coming on top of his row with Ben, it had drained him. The worry had kept her awake much of the night too, waiting on, yet dreading, any news. She’d also wondered how Jay had managed with Ben during the crisis – and what would happen now between the family. Not to mention between her and Jay.
Once every crumb had gone from his plate, and been washed down with a second mug of coffee, he sat back with a sigh. He still looked tired but the tension had been replaced by a softer weariness.
‘Thanks for that. It was exactly what I needed. Thanks for everything, Lottie. I don’t know how I’d have coped without you. I was a complete mess last night.’
‘That’s understandable.’
‘I don’t mean at the hospital.’ He swallowed. ‘I mean after the wedding, with Ben and – and
