His eyes shone with something like delight. She’d thought he was handsome from the start, but now he was literally making her go weak at the knees. She’d given up all hope of that ever happening to her – and yet it was. She also knew that it was a sincere, deep-rooted feeling, from a man whose heart wasn’t given lightly.
There were no guarantees in life, but she was as sure as she could be that, this time, this love would not be snatched away again.
The chair scraped as he rose from the table.
‘Please,’ he said, reaching out his hand.
She allowed him to pull her to her feet, draw her into his arms and hold her close. ‘Last Christmas, I vowed I’d never trust someone, or love someone, or risk my heart ever again. And yet …’ He held her tighter. ‘Here you are, against all the odds. I think I’ve loved you for a long time now, but I refused to allow myself to accept it. I built my walls higher and higher and tried to keep you out. I gave myself excuses, I searched for any reason not to trust you or open myself up again.’
He stroked her hair.
‘Jay. I wish I’d been honest with you from the start.’
‘You had no obligation to. I was so … thorny. Why would you share anything with me at all? Still, I couldn’t keep you out or fight against how I feel for you.’
She had to smile. ‘You make me sound like some kind of invader, crashing into your life.’
He laughed. ‘No, you’ve done nothing – nothing except be you. And being you is more than enough and way more than I deserve.’ He held her face in his hands. ‘Can we start again?’
‘I’d rather build on what we have.’
She wasn’t sure who kissed who, only that it was the deepest, sweetest kiss she wanted to last forever. A little breathless afterwards, she said, ‘I don’t think there’s any point you going all that way home in this terrible weather, is there?’
Jay nodded enthusiastically. ‘No, I agree.’
She nodded her head. ‘It might be safer for us to huddle together for warmth on my sofa before you venture outside.’
The next morning was Tuesday and Lottie was awake early. With Jay, all her worries had been set aside for a few hours. However, now, her thoughts were all for Steph.
‘I’m afraid I have to go.’
‘Work?’
‘No. It’s Steph. She’s getting the results of her scan today and I promised I’d go with her to see the consultant. We’re hoping it shows the all clear.’
Jay held her. ‘I hope so too. Please let me know how it goes?’
‘I will. What will you do today?’
‘Me?’ He smiled. ‘Oh, I think I’ll find something.’
With that mysterious statement, and another kiss, he let her go.
While she drove to pick up Steph, Lottie debated with herself whether to tell her sister she and Jay had finally got together. On the one hand it would distract her sister, on the other, was it something that should wait for a happier moment? If that happier moment came. Lottie fought down panic. What if she there was bad news? More aggressive treatment? No treatment? How would they help the girls to understand? How would they tell their parents?
The joy of her time with Jay evaporated, but at least she now had someone she could share her own worries with. Someone to support her, who understood her fears and who, she sensed, would always be there for her and never run out.
That thought gave her the renewed strength to be positive for Steph’s sake.
An hour later, Lottie found herself sitting on a chair outside the consultant’s office, waiting for the door to open and find out the answer. Would Steph be smiling or grim-faced? Lottie would know in an instant.
The time stretched on. Ten minutes, twenty, half an hour and just when Lottie felt she might scream with tension, Steph emerged.
Oh God, she had tears on her cheeks. Lottie could see them glistening. She jumped up, grabbing her bag as the door shut behind Steph and she walked slowly forward.
Lottie hurried over to her. ‘Love …’ she murmured.
‘I-I’m OK. It’s gone. They can’t find anything …’
‘Oh God.’
‘Can w-we get out of here?’
‘Mmm …’ Lottie let out a breath and found her eyes full of tears. Her shoulders shook and she grabbed a handful of tissues from her bag.
It wasn’t until they reached the car park that they both gave in, hugging each other and sobbing with relief.
‘I am so so happy. I’m so relieved.’
Steph lifted her face to the sky. ‘I am going to be OK!’ she shouted.
‘This calls for champagne!’ Lottie said. ‘For you, anyway. I’m driving so maybe I’d better bring it over on Christmas Day.’
‘Look what happened the last time I had some! I put my foot in it with you and Jay!’
‘Ah – I have news about that.’ Lottie remembered that she’d also intended to tell Steph about Nadia and Jay. With all the chaos, and worry and excitement of the past few days, she hadn’t got round to it. Although it was her own relationship with Jay she wanted to focus on from now on, she didn’t think Jay would mind her explaining what had happened to Steph.
Steph wiped her eyes and they widened. ‘What news?’
Lottie grinned. ‘Jump in the car. I’ll tell you on the way home.’
After she’d taken Steph home and they’d had a cuppa and given the twins the good news, Lottie went back to the Bothy and she and Jay headed up to the fells with Trevor. It was a crisp winter afternoon, the fell tops
