It shouldn’t be this hard.
“So, Brayden,” Lora says after a few moments of awkward silence, “do you miss…Flemingsburg? Did I get that right?”
Maybe the awkward silence would’ve been better.
“Yeah, it’s Flemingsburg,” he drawls with a slight laugh, “and uh…I miss it, I guess. I made a couple of good friends there, so I definitely miss them, but I never really got attached to the town itself.” He drums his fingers on top of the table. “Probably because I’ve always considered Sierra Heights as my home, ever after living in Michigan, which is why I’m glad we were able to move back. I missed being here.”
Did he—did he just glance at me? Out of the corner of his eye? Sure, it was a brief moment, but I couldn’t have imagined that…right?
Was he implying that he missed me? Am I one of the reasons he’s glad they moved back?
“That makes sense,” Lora replies, eating one of her crackers, “don’t you think so, Meg?”
I must look zoned out.
“Absolutely,” I agree with her, “it totally makes sense.”
Well, didn’t that sound intelligent…
“Hello, all,” Holt’s voice joins the conversation, along with the rest of his annoying self. “Lora, can we talk for a sec?” He nods toward another section of the cafeteria. “Over there?”
She scowls at him, and he lets out a frustrated sigh. “Please, Lora?”
To my surprise, she actually stands up. “I’ll be right back.”
Noooooooo! She can’t do this to me—not AGAIN. But she does. And now it’s just me and Brayden…sitting at this table…next to each other…by ourselves.
“Well, this feels like déjà vu,” he comments in a humored tone, “huh?”
“Yep,” I reply with a nod, “definitely déjà vu.”
Except, this time we’re not sitting across from each other, he’s RIGHT next to me. And last week I flat-out hated him, but today I’ve had “being attracted to him doesn’t mean I like him” on repeat as much as possible. Why can’t I just still hate him? That would be easier than balancing our “friendship” and my attraction for him.
But no, he had to go and apologize—and fix things between us—making it impossible for me to stay hating him.
“Where’d ya go?” he asks, nudging my arm with his own. “Did the déjà vu hit you that hard?”
“Not exactly,” I reply, forcing out a laugh, “I was just…thinking.”
“You’ve got my attention,” he drawls with an interested eyebrow raise, “thinking about what?”
You, of course. Lately, it doesn’t seem like I’m capable of thinking about much else.
Will I admit that? Oh, heck no.
“Stuff.” I offer a careless shrug. “Nothing exciting.”
“Sounds kind of suspicious,” he says, looking unconvinced, “are you keeping secrets from me, Meg?”
Oof, that teasing glint in his eyes…
“You are, aren’t you?” he asks, a slight smirk on his face.
Did he just move in closer to me?
Get a hold of yourself, Megan.
“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not,” I tell him, tilting my chin up. “I’m not admitting anything.”
Wow, I have no idea how I managed that response.
Mental high-five.
“All right, all right,” he laughs, leaning away from me (because YES, he really did move in closer). “Clearly, you’re a steel trap and I’m incapable of convincing you to spill all your secrets, so let’s change subjects…yeah?”
Oh, thank God.
“Okay,” I say, relaxing a little bit, “what’d you have in mind?”
“Well, I’m sure you already know that your mom convinced my mom that we should have a housewarming party to meet more of the neighbors,” he drawls, snatching one of his chips out of the bag, “and considering you probably have more experience with housewarming parties compared to my 0% of experience, I’ve gotta ask: is it as awful as it sounds?”
Mom convinced Mrs. Knight to have a housewarming party? When? And why the heck am I just finding out now?
Being in Brayden’s house again isn’t a good idea…
“Meg?”
“Uh…” I trail off, trying to focus on his question. “The food is usually the best part, to be honest. The neighbors are usually nosy and ask tons of questions when they’re not trying to snoop around the house.”
He proceeds to wince. “So, it is as awful as it sounds.”
Ooh! Maybe he’ll convince his parents to change their minds about it…
“At least you’ll be there though,” he muses, now looking at me, “I’ll just avoid all the nosy neighbors and hang around with you instead.”
Or he’ll suggest that.
Chapter 20: Let Me Cheer You Up
When I asked Mom last night why she didn’t tell me about the Knights’ housewarming party, her excuse was that she hadn’t even added it to the family calendar yet. Then she wanted to know if Brayden mentioned the party to me. Since she already knew the answer, I didn’t bother telling her. Who else was going to tell me about it?
And Brayden’s little “I’ll just hang around with you instead” comment has been replaying in my head nonstop. There’s no way I’ll be able to handle spending that much one-on-one time with him. However, part of me is…intrigued…at the thought? I mean, he basically said he’d rather spend time with me instead of anyone else that’s going to be at the party. How can I not be intrigued?
It’s wrong, I realize that, because I’m not looking at this situation from a “we’re friends” viewpoint—but I can’t help it! Seeing Brayden as a friend is way harder than I expected it to be, and I keep remembering details from when we were “dating,” which just makes things worse.
This morning’s middle school memory was of the first time that we held hands. We had been walking down one of North Ridge’s halls, and Brayden grabbed my hand so he could tug me out of the way before I collided with some girl
