Which was fine with me because I didn’t want him to.
Now I’m walking down one of Robinson High’s halls by myself, totally single, and Brayden’s nowhere around me. That shouldn’t bother me—after all, it never did before—but it does. It bothers me a lot.
Yeah, I’m totally horrible at doing this friend thing. Why did I think I could do it in the first place?
And that’s exactly what I ask Lora when she sits across from me during lunch.
“Do what?” Her eyebrows crease as she steals one of my chicken nuggets. “Why do you look so bleh? What happened?”
“Why did I think that I could be friends with Brayden?” I clarify for her. “It’s not working, Lora. I can’t see him as a friend!”
She pauses with the chicken nugget halfway to her mouth. “Wait, is this you finally admitting that you like him?”
I swallow, hard. “I didn’t say that.”
“You basically did,” she states in a matter-of-fact way, “unless you’re back to hating him again…but I find that hard to believe.”
“I can’t like him, Lora,” I huff, crossing my arms, “look how things turned out last time.”
“Lame excuse,” she says, eating the chicken nugget. “You guys were just kids, Megan—are you seriously going to base your relationship choices off what happened in middle school? If you like the guy, admit it already, there’s nothing wrong with you liking him!”
I purse my lips. “What about Beth?”
“What about her?”
“Well, clearly she’s interested in him,” I state the obvious, “and he seems pretty fond of her too.”
“Because he’s thinking about helping out with the rummage sale?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. “That doesn’t mean he likes her, Meg. In all honesty…I think he likes you.”
My pulse quickens at the thought, but I know better. “Yeah, I doubt that.”
“Seriously?” She gives me an annoyed look. “I felt like a flippin’ third wheel during lunch yesterday. What guy dotes that much if he’s not interested? And did you not realize how close he was sitting next to you?”
Of course, I realized it. How could I not?
“But, Lora—”
“Even if I’m wrong—which isn’t very likely—and he doesn’t like you, he still deserves to know how you feel,” she cuts in. “He told you the truth about what happened back then, and you need to tell him the truth about your feelings now.”
“I didn’t say that I like him.”
She offers a slight smile. “You didn’t have to. We may not be in middle school anymore, but I can still tell when you’re crushing…and you are definitely crushing on him.”
I don’t think I’ve been that obvious.
“What if he doesn’t feel the same way, Lora?” I ask, throwing a hand up. “Do you know how awkward and embarrassing that’s going to be? No, telling him the truth is a horrible plan. I just need to distract myself from any and all inconvenient feelings until they decide to go away.”
“You know how ridiculous that sounds, right?” she deadpans with a loud sigh. “Megan, just talk to him. Please? I’m begging you. And if it goes badly, I’ll shower you with chocolate…okay?”
I don’t offer any kind of response though. Why? Because I don’t want to tell Brayden that I might—POSSIBLY—like him.
It’s very simple, really.
“Okay?” she repeats herself, waving her fork in front of my face. “No more excuses. No more pretending. No more wimping out.”
Yes, to more excuses. Yes, to more pretending. And a MEGA-yes to more wimping out.
I prop an elbow on the table and rest my head against my hand. “Why couldn’t he just stay in Flemingsburg?”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Or why couldn’t I just be interested in someone else?” I continue to muse. “Robinson High is full of better options for me. I couldn’t find one other guy to crush on?”
Granted, most guys are already taken. Especially the cute, nice ones. Like that Liam guy.
“Megan—”
“But what if he’s not taken?” I ask out loud. “Why would he go out of his way to talk to me if he had a girlfriend?”
“What the crap are you even talking about? Who are you talking about?”
“Liam,” I reply, widening my eyes at her. “Remember that guy I mentioned from Kyle’s soccer game? His younger brother is friends with Kyle?”
“Uh…” she trails off with creased eyebrows. “I don’t know. Maybe? What about him?”
“He’s the perfect way to distract myself from having feelings for Brayden,” I state in a matter-of-fact way. “Not only is he cute, but we made some small talk, and I think he could totally be interested in me.”
I just need to find a way to bump into him again. The only problem is that I haven’t seen him here at school besides that one random time outside.
Ugh.
I really don’t want to start eating outside…
“Why do I bother giving you advice?” Lora grumbles, eating some of her mac and cheese. “If you think your crazy idea is better, fine, but that means you can’t keep whining to me about Brayden.”
“Well, considering my crazy idea is going to work,” I start, unable to keep myself from sounding smug, “I won’t need to whine to you anymore.”
“Whatever you say, Meg,” she verbally waves me off, “whatever you say. So listen, Holt asked me out yesterday. That’s why he wanted to talk to me during lunch.”
That dweeb! Didn’t I tell him to be patient?
She clicks her tongue. “And I told him I’d think about it.”
I blink at her. “You told him what?”
“Yeah, I know,” she says with a slight laugh, “but…I kind of miss him, Meg. And maybe a date will help me decide if I want to get back with him or not.”
I eye her suspiciously. “You’re not just saying all this
