I wanted to tell him not to make me stupid promises he couldn’t keep. I wanted to tell him to fuck off and leave me alone. But I couldn’t with Faith there. I couldn’t say anything I wanted to say, which included irrationally blaming him. I wasn’t sure what I was blaming him for—nothing was his fault. But in that moment, seeing the man I’d loved for what felt like forever holding my daughter after he’d rescued her, but not before he’d left me and broken my soul, all I could see was red.
Fury and anger welled up. Just as I opened my mouth to say something that would likely scare my daughter, Holden spoke again, “Take a breath, Charleigh.”
I clamped my mouth closed and glared at him. I hated that he was intimately familiar with my temper. I hated that he knew I was going to lose it and say something I’d regret later. Not because my words would be untrue, but because Faith didn’t need to hear.
Once Holden ascertained I had a hold on my tongue, he turned to Faith.
“Let’s get you back into bed with your mama.” Faith shook her head, the movement barely there since her face was buried in his neck. “I’m not going anywhere, but you need to get some sleep. So does your mom.”
“You’ll stay?” Faith mumbled against Holden’s throat.
“I’ll stay.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Faith, I promise you I’ll be here when you wake up. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’ll protect Mommy?”
Holden’s eyes snapped back to mine and a look I’d never seen flickered. Then it was gone before I could process it.
“With my life.”
My breath hitched and my throat clogged.
I didn’t need time to process his statement, I needed to unhear the fierce determination in his voice. I needed to forget the defiant resolve in his tone. Those words were spoken to Faith but they were not for her, they were for me. Holden was telling me, without actually telling me, he was planning something. The man standing before me was the old Holden—my Holden. Not the cold, distant, Holden who had been far from my reach for years.
I wanted the faraway Holden back, the one I was determined to get over. The one who wanted nothing to do with me or Faith. I had to move on for me, for my daughter. I needed to build a life for us and find happiness.
This Holden, the old Holden, the thoughtful, protective, caring man, was dangerous. I’d taken one look at him and fallen in love. A single glance in his direction and I knew he would be the man I’d marry. Obviously, I’d been wrong. So very wrong. But there was still one undeniable truth, I’d always love him. It was like a sickness I couldn’t get rid of. Holden Stanford was my other half. From the second I saw him, something clicked into place. I’d never believed in soulmates until him.
Before I had Faith, I’d been willing to fight for him. I’d given it my all and I’d failed. Now, I had to protect my daughter from my dysfunctional heart. I wouldn’t allow her to get close to Holden only to feel the sting of his deflection.
No way. No how. I’d keep Faith safe at all costs.
Tomorrow, I’d thank Holden for all of his help. Then I’d make a plan to extradite him from our lives. It should be easy—he hated me—but the look on his face no longer said revulsion. It said something new and that scared the hell out of me.
Holden walked to the side of my bed, and with his gaze still connected to mine, he kissed the top of Faith’s head before he laid her next to me.
Bastard.
“Get some sleep.”
I pulled Faith closer and she settled on her side with her little arm over my chest, her head resting on my shoulder, and I held on tight.
My girl was home. She was safe. She was physically unharmed.
Nothing else mattered. Not the revenge I’d vowed on the Towlers, not Holden, not my heart, not the battle I had on my hands. Not a damn thing other than my girl.
Then why couldn’t I get the sight of Holden and Faith walking into my room hand-in-hand out of my mind? Why couldn’t I stop the replay of Faith holding onto Holden? Why couldn’t I stop the mental images of how perfectly she’d fit in his arms, from assaulting me?
Why in the actual hell couldn’t I stop loving the man who’d destroyed me?
16
Holden stayed silent and watched as Faith came awake. Mother and daughter had slept cuddled together on the small twin-sized hospital bed. Twice, a nurse came in to wake up Charleigh and check her vitals. Neither time did Faith even twitch at the intrusion. Both times, Charleigh turned her gaze to the corner where Holden was sitting and didn’t hide her irritation that he was still there.
However, Holden ignored her. He’d spent years living under a mountain of regret, years wishing he’d done everything differently, without knowing how or if he should explain to Charleigh why’d he’d done what he’d done. Sometimes, things are better left in the past, but in the hours he spent looking for Faith and the hours he spent after he’d found her, he’d come to a decision—he needed to make things right.
Though, sometime in the wee hours of the morning as he stared at Charleigh and Faith sleeping, his objective changed. He wasn’t only going to make things right; he was going to make them his. Which meant he was going to turn the water under this particular bridge into raging rapids of emotional turmoil. He’d have to confess everything. Six months ago, that thought would’ve made him sick to his stomach. Hell, six days ago, he would’ve rather run away than fess up and tell the truth. Admitting he couldn’t have children was only the tip of the iceberg. There was so much more, things that
