Praying, wishing, and hoping was pointless and it led to nowhere.
“As soon as your mom’s done with her checkup, I’ll get you something.”
“Pancakes?”
Holden smiled.
“Is that what you want?”
Faith nodded and continued with her breakfast order. “With syrup. And bacon, too.” There was a pause, then she snapped her eyes back to his and quickly added. “Please.”
“Sure thing, doll. Pancakes and bacon it is.”
There was another moment of silence and once again Holden felt like he was under heavy scrutiny. The little girl had an uncanny way of making him want to fidget. No one made Holden uncomfortable, but then not many people had the balls to stare him down. Faith did. Which was a weird thing to say about a child, but it was true nonetheless. Like Charleigh, Faith seemed to have an iron constitution.
“You need something, darlin’?”
“You forgot the syrup.”
Holden couldn’t hold back his roar of laughter. “Right. The syrup.”
“You have the same dimple I have when you smile.” Faith’s head tilted as she stared at Holden’s cheek.
He didn’t have a dimple per se, but he did have a small indent, so slight people often overlooked it. Not this little girl, though.
“See?” Faith continued, and tipped her lips up into a toothy smile.
It was there, ever so slight, the same as his.
A dangerous emotion clogged his throat, making his nose sting. He didn’t want to admit it felt a hell of a lot like a possibility, when there was none. But he couldn’t deny it when wishful thinking filled his chest. Then came the excruciating letdown, the knowledge that no matter how many similarities he made up, Faith wasn’t his. It wasn’t genetics that she had flecks of gold in her eyes or an indentation in her cheek, it was simply a coincidence. A lot of people had specks in their irises and dimples in their cheeks.
“You sure do,” he croaked out.
He was saved from further study when the nurse announced she was done and the doctor would be in soon to talk to Charleigh about discharging her.
Unfortunately, that meant while Holden was no longer under Faith’s examination, Charleigh had turned her critical consideration his way.
Mother and daughter had the fault-finding glare down to a science.
“I’m not sure they have pancakes in the hospital cafeteria, sweets,” Charleigh said and arched an eyebrow Holden’s way.
“They don’t have a cafeteria in this hospital, period,” Holden returned. “What do you want for breakfast, Leigh-Leigh?”
Tiny creases appeared on Charleigh’s forehead, warning him she was irritated. But before she could tell him in a kid-friendly version to go fuck himself, Faith spoke.
“Leigh-Leigh? Grandmother and Grandfather call her Charlotte. But she hates it when people call her that. Everyone else calls her Charleigh.”
“I know.”
“You do?” Faith’s nose scrunched, and for a millisecond, Holden thought about holding his tongue. Then he decided he didn’t want to. He wanted Faith to know how well he knew her mother.
“I do. I’ve known your mom a long time.”
“I know that. You’ve been to our house in Virginia.”
“Yup. But I knew your mom before you were born.”
“You knew my dad.”
It was a statement. Of course, Faith knew Holden knew Paul, but it was still a dagger to his heart. A stabbing, piercing pain that had him rethinking his plan to get close to the duo.
Fucking Christ. He couldn’t do it. He thought he could, but he hadn’t taken into consideration that Faith might have questions about her dad. None of the guys had ever mentioned if Faith had talked about Paul—not that they would. Faith and Charleigh had been a no-go topic.
Holden swallowed down the sour taste and answered. “I did.”
“I never met him.”
He heard a choking sound coming from Charleigh but didn’t dare look away from Faith.
“I know you didn’t, doll. And I’m sorry you never had the chance.”
“Grandfather says you can’t miss something you never had.”
Sweet Jesus, Charleigh’s dad is a dick.
“That’s not true. I’m sure you miss your dad.”
Faith squirmed uncomfortably. He wasn’t sure what that meant but he did know he didn’t want to discuss Paul. At least, not until he figured out a way to lock his hatred for the man down so Faith would never know what a douche the guy had been.
Shit. He shouldn’t have even been thinking that while Faith was on his lap.
What was wrong with him?
The man was dead and gone.
Years had passed but Holden still couldn’t forgive Paul for what he’d done. Especially what he’d done to Charleigh.
Not knowing what else to say, Holden’s gaze slid to Charleigh. She stared back at him with a look that said help me—or maybe it said go to hell. Whatever the message, the tears brimming in her eyes were Holden’s undoing.
In an effort to move the conversation along, he rewound to breakfast.
“Are you ready for pancakes, syrup, and sausage?”
“Bacon,” Faith corrected.
“Oh, right, bacon.”
Holden winked and Faith was back to smiling.
“Leigh-Leigh?”
“I’m not hungry.”
Faith leaned in close to Holden. In a horrible attempt at a whisper, she announced, “Mom’s grouchy before coffee.”
“She is,” he readily agreed.
So many memories assaulted him; bringing Charleigh coffee in bed; watching her shuffle into the kitchen, her hair disheveled but never looking so beautiful, wearing a deep frown until she saw coffee was made; Leigh-Leigh kissing him sweetly when he made her a mug just the way she liked it.
Holden could recall everything about Charleigh. Every single little detail. From her favorites, to the freckles on her stomach, to the places she loved to be touched.
“How about we get her some?”
Faith nodded and smiled. Without delay, Holden grabbed his phone off the roll-table that was covered in Faith’s medical records from the night before and dialed Nixon.
“Everything good?” Nix’s tired voice came over the line and Holden internally frowned.
Damn. It was still early and his friend hadn’t left the hospital until late.
“Yeah, sorry, brother, I should’ve checked the time. Go back to sleep—”
“I’m up. What do you need?”
Not for the first time, or even the hundredth, Holden
