There were no kisses, no sweet words betweenthem. But he nearly ripped her wedding dress from her, threw her onthe bed and took her hard and rough. They'd slept then in themiddle of the night he'd done it again, the same way.
Was that how a marriage was supposed tobe?
What had happened to the gentle man she hadliked so much?
She'd been way too naïve since her motherdied early on.
But she'd lost her temper by mourning andswore she would not let him touch her again. And because she was soadamant, Jim lost all interest in her.
Had she expected too much? Did all womenfeel this the first time? He'd been so brutal, hammering himselfinto her and not a word of love or caring. It was a brutalawakening. She expected more of him, but she should have known. Hisfamily were pretty backward people, except they bragged about hisfine work all the time. And he was a great farmer.
It was the one and only time she'd beenafraid of him, on her wedding night. Granted she didn't know whatto expect, but she was so disappointed that there was nothing toget her in the mood for his lovemaking. If she could call itthat.
Thank God, he'd never touched her again.
Thinking about it, it probably was theliquor he had begun to drink when they moved.
But that night, after they'd wed, he'd bit,and slapped her around, then thrust himself inside her like arutting pig. She'd cried all night, and he never touched her againafter that next morning. He'd had too much to drink, and she hadn'tallowed for that.
He'd told her she was cold and unfeeling,that she shirked her womanly duty to her husband, but she stoodstrong. He would not touch her again.
After that, things changed between them. Theman she knew and married was a different man and it felt like shewas living with a stranger.
Kate was thankful that he was no longerinterested.
Jim Marley worked twelve hours a day ratherthan ask for help from a neighbor. Moving away from his familybecause they saw no need in him marrying her, after all couldn't heget what he wanted without it. They needed him on their farm. Jiminsisted it was time he got out on his own.
Kate wasn't afraid to voice her opinion ofthem either, she'd called them pigs upon occasion and Jim had takenoffense to that.
Moving out here, was supposed to be a newstart for them. Only nothing changed and after the wedding nightthings just got worse. They were two people living in the samehouse, but there was no love, and no prospect of it.
Kate had made her bed, as her daddy used tosay, and she'd have to lie in it.
Her only enjoyment was watching theriverboats pass on the Mississippi River on the edge of theirproperty. Once a week she'd go down and watch it roll down theriver, waving to the people as they would gather on the decks. Thepeople were all dressed in their finery. Watching the big boatsfloating down the Mississippi calmed her and made her dream forbetter things.
That first night after the funeral, as Kateheated the beans, she'd made earlier that day and warmed her coffeeshe sat reflecting on the strange marriage. It wasn't much like themarriages her friends had. Most of her friends had gushed withdreams and hopes after marriage. Some of them were very happy.
She sat down to eat, but she wasn't hungry.The cornbread was cold, and she didn't bother warming it. Shedidn’t taste it.
How could she feel so lost and alone whenJim had barely spoke to her for the past few months? It was asthough he wasn't a real husband to her. But then, she couldn'tblame him, after all it was her choice.
Jim Marley had been a solitary man, notmaking friends here as he worked hard to make the place pay foritself the first year. She gave him his due, he was a good worker.But she knew that much from the start. He'd done most of the workhimself on his folk's farm. That's why they objected to theirmarriage. They lost their best farm hand.
But later she began to realize just how muchwork there was, and she helped him, as he wouldn't spend money tohire a man to help him. He was more than a little thrifty, he wascheap. She knew he needed help, and without help, he'd struggled totake his crops to market. Now there were fields of corn and hay andshe was the only one to take it to market.
Truth be known she was scared, lonely andforlorn. She was a farmer's daughter, not a farmer, but she learnedin that year. Oh how she had learned.
Fighting nature to get the crops in, theyworked in the rain, and mud, they worked whether they felt like itor not.
Not that she was lazy, the place was a shackwhen they first came. She made curtains for it, she'd cleaned ituntil it was spotless and cooked big meals for her husband as heworked in the hot sun all day. She made a quilt for their bed, andshe'd do little things around the house to make it look homey. Jimdidn't appreciate her in the house all the time and they began toargue, until she finally got out and helped him try to get thecrops in. But he'd bite her head off because she didn't move fastenough. She was too slow to suit him. Still she tried to help.
After a year of struggling with his illhumor, she finally got to be a decent hand. But by then he wasbitter and angry with her all the time and not just for the cropseither. In the back of her mind, she felt a tad guilty for notallowing him to touch her again, but he had hurt her so bad thatnight, she just couldn't.
Still, she did miss him now. It was lonelyin the house and she felt very alone now.
Truth be told, she'd married Jim out ofsheer loneliness.
She'd been a virgin when he married her, andhe'd not taken that into consideration when he callously bed her.But Kate had expected him to
