The Bad Boys of Assjacket
Robyn Peterman
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Copyright © 2020 by Robyn Peterman
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is coincidental.
This book contains content that may not be suitable for young readers 17 and under.
Cover design by Dreams2Media
Edited by Cookie Inc.
Contents
Books In This Series
What Others Are Saying
Acknowledgments
Foreword
Book Description
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Epilogue
More from the Magic and Mayhem Universe
Robyn’s Book List
Note From The Author
Books in the Original Magic and Mayhem Series
About Robyn Peterman
Books In This Series
Switching Hour
Witch Glitch
A Witch In Time
Magically Delicious
A Tale Of Two Witches
Three’s A Charm
Switching Witches
Your broom or mine?
The Bad Boys of Assjacket
HIT HERE FOR THE WEBSITE PAGE WITH ALL THE BOOKS!
What Others Are Saying
“Funny, fast-paced, and filled with laugh-out-loud dialogue.
Robyn Peterman delivers a sidesplitting, sexy tale of powerful witches and magical delights.
I devoured Magically Delicious in one sitting!”
~Ann Charles
USA Today Bestselling Author
of the Deadwood Humorous Mystery Series
Acknowledgments
I adore the Magic and Mayhem Series. It started on a dare and I see no end in sight. Expanding the town of Assjacket makes me happy.
It’s finally Fat Bastard, Jango Fett and Boba Fett’s turn. It was a hellacious ride. Between Sassy learning Canadian, the boys falling in love and a new character who I can’t wait for you to meet, it was a joy from start to finish.
As always, while writing is a solitary experience getting a book into the world is a group project.
Renee — Thank you for all your support, your friendship, your deviously brilliant mind and for being the best Cookie ever. You saved my butt on this one. Forever in your debt.
Wanda — Thank you for knowing what I mean even when I don’t. LOL You are the best and this writing business wouldn’t be any fun without you. You make the journey more fun.
Heather, Susan and Wanda — Thank you for being kickass betas. You are all wonderful.
Rebecca — Thank you. As always, your cover captured what was in my mind perfectly.
Steve, Henry and Audrey — Thank you. The three of you are my world. Without you, none of this would make sense. I love you.
Dedication
For Zelda Queen of the World in her Own Mind. I hope your Next Adventure is as beautiful as you are. I will miss you always.
Foreword
Blast Off with us into the Magic and Mayhem Universe!
I’m Robyn Peterman, the creator of the Magic and Mayhem Series and I’d like to invite you to my Magic and Mayhem Universe.
AND for the first time ever… I am writing in the Magic and Mayhem Universe too! The Bad Boys of Assjacket is book 9 in the original Magic and Mayhem Series, but I’m launching it with my Universe!
What is the Magic and Mayhem Universe, you may ask?
Well, let me explain…
It’s basically authorized fan fiction written by some amazing authors that I stalked and blackmailed! KIDDING! I was lucky and blessed to have some brilliant authors say yes! They have written brand new stories using my world and some of my characters. And let me tell you…the results are hilarious!
So here it is! Blast off with us into the hilarious Magic and Mayhem Universe. Side splitting books by fantabulous authors! Check out each and every one. You will laugh your way to a magical HEA!
For all the stories, go to https://magicandmayhemuniverse.com/. Grab your copy today!
And if you would like to read the book that started all the madness, Switching Hour is FREE!
https://robynpeterman.com/switching-hour/
Book Description
The Bad Boys of Assjacket
A dare is a dare.
No self-respecting, slightly chubby, good-lookin’, crime lovin’ cat would ever pass up a dare.
So I didn’t.
Now, me and my boys are in hot water trying to figure out how to live on the right side of the law for a whole freakin’ week!
This is complicated by a couple of hairy issues…
— The half-headed bear in town had his privates pilfered. We have vowed to return his giggleberries. Legal means are not working.
— Sassy’s Canadian tutors show up—the furry, cat-burgling dames who we’ve been in love with our entire nine lives. In order to woo the gorgeous broads, we need to be at our criminal best.
— We need the help of a foul-mouthed troll who throws tantrums like a three-year-old serial killer and wants to bump off everyone.
Throw in a cryptic message from the Goddess, humans invading our town and evil, sticky-fingered groundhogs, and we have a hot mess on our paws.
I hope we have a few of our kitty lives left because the Bad Boys of Assjacket are going to save the day or get eighty-sixed trying.
Prologue
Once upon a time in the far, far away kingdom of West Virginia, there was an exquisitely enchanted place called Assjacket.
Don’t laugh. Okay, fine. Laugh. It’s a crappy name, but I’ve heard worse… Toad Suck, Arkansas… Hooker, Oklahoma… Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky.
I rest my case.
Of course, it wasn’t originally called Assjacket. But one bright sunny, cloudless, and slightly humid day, a potty-mouthed witch renamed the town. Or more likely, Zelda forgot the name and pulled the dreadful new moniker out of her ass. It’s not important to the story, so we’ll skip that part. Anyhoo, after that fated day, no one could recall the original name.
Was it a spell?
Was it providence?
Was the original name worse than Assjacket?
Who knows, but it has nothing to do with the tale, so please forget it was brought to your attention.
The enchanted town of Assjacket was filled with beautiful, magical misfits who
