She looks at me, tears glistening in her eyes, her face blotchy from crying. A lot.
“Baby, what is it?” Please don’t let it be Amy. Amy is still in remission, but I know Hayley worries the leukemia will come back.
She doesn’t reply, just turns her phone in my direction so I can see what’s on the screen, and I smile knowingly. A US Marine is on his knees at the airport, his arms wide open as a toddler runs as fast as his chubby legs can carry him. The caption reads “Marine Dad meets Son for First Time.” These get her every time. And if the warm water bottle isn’t a big enough clue, the shrine of tissues and the tear-jerking videos are a dead giveaway that Hayley’s on her period.
I kiss her wet cheeks. “Wait here.”
I leave the room and head into the library I had built for her when she first moved in two months ago. I grab the raspberry truffles I have tucked away just for this occasion and the copy of The Velveteen Rabbit she gave me for my birthday. Checking I have everything I need, I head back into the living room and grab the remote, flicking the TV off.
She turns to gape at me, her face a mix of incredulous and annoyed. I realize I’m playing with my balls here. Hayley is a pretty even-mannered girl, even when it is that time of the month, but I just switched her movie off at her favorite part, even if she wasn’t watching it fully.
“What did you do that for?”
I place the remote and box of truffles on the coffee table. “I’m going to take care of you?”
She narrows her eyes at me and folds her arms across her chest.
“Hey, don’t you trust me?”
She smiles, and fuck if every time she does that my chest doesn’t tighten at the memory of almost never getting to see that smile again. It’s not a bad thing; I never want to take her for granted. Never want to take anything for granted.
“If you’ve got any grand designs to ‘take care of me’—” She air quotes before lifting the warm water bottle and shaking it. “—you’re going to have to give me a few days.”
I chuckle, dragging the teal occasional chair over and lifting the book so she can see. “I’m going to read to you.”
Hayley spots the chocolates and holds out a hand. “Aww, you got me my favorites.”
I raise an eyebrow. “You’ll get those for good behavior.”
She raises an eyebrow of her own and stares me down. “You’re living dangerously, Kade Tennick.”
“You know us rock stars, we’re always looking for an adrenaline rush.” I wink. Hayley continues to scowl at me, and it takes everything I’ve got not to laugh.
Leaning back, I open the book to my favorite part and start reading.
Hayley sits up suddenly, her warm water bottle falling to the floor. “No way, Kade. You’re not reading that part.”
“It’s the best part!”
“Are you high? They’re going to burn the rabbit.”
I scratch my lip so I can hide my smile behind my hand. “It has a happy ending.”
Hayley lifts all the tissues she has scattered around her and drops them in a fluttering pile. “Does this look like I’m emotionally equipped to endure this part of the story today?”
My heart feels like it’s too big for my chest. This, this here, is why I love her so much. She’s fun and sexy and incredible and at the same time cries herself into a state watching videos of veterans returning home.
“You’re gonna have to learn to trust me.” I start reading about the rabbit being placed in a sack and carried out to the end of the garden. When I get to the part where he feels lonely, Hayley starts sniffling into a tissue.
“Damn you to hell, Kade.”
I move to sit next to her on the couch. Brushing her tears away with my thumb, I lean in to kiss her soft lips. Before I get carried away, I move back to my chair and continue reading. “You were Real to the Boy,” the Fairy said, “because he loved you. Now you shall be Real to everyone.”
Tears start tracking down Hayley’s cheeks in earnest now, and I wonder if maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. But there’s no backing out now, so I move to the part that will hopefully make her feel better.
“And she held the little Rabbit close in her arms and flew him into the wood.”
“The ring tied to his neck glistened in the moonlight, and he turned to the Fairy, his heart hammering in his chest as he says…” I close the book and lean forward, reaching for Hayley’s hands. She looks up at me in surprise at my abrupt ending. I clear my throat.
“Hayley, our careers are a collection of staged moments, of choreographed dances and carefully constructed notes designed to evoke the mood or feeling we are trying to create. But real life isn’t like that. It’s long days and high pressure. It’s expectations and the fear of failure. It’s dealing with lack of sleep and…” I smile at her ruefully. “Lady time. I want the real. I want the now, and I want them all with you. These moments right here, the ones with you lying on the couch, cramping and watching chick flicks. I want these moments every day. I want them all. Forever…” I pause, blinking back the mist in my eyes. “Will you marry me?”
She’s sobbing now. The hands covering her mouth are shaking as she tries to blink the tears away. I kiss her, my tongue coaxing her mouth open, and I taste
