“Baby, come with me, please.”
I shake my head back and forth. “I’m trying to forget you,” I barely whisper above the music and crowd. Exhausted, I give in, knowing I have to face this, whether I am ready or not.
“No,” Hawk rasps. He picks me up and carries me down to his room. Sitting on his bed, he rests me in his lap. “I love you, Alessia. You can’t leave me. Are you really going to Las Vegas?”
Fire burns in my gut, and I jump up. He was eavesdropping on my conversation with Stryker! That’s why he approached me now. Anger replaces the sorrow that had consumed me before. “Now you give a shit where I go? When you haven’t been home in a fucking week!”
He jolts up and is holding my shoulders. “I couldn’t go home after what I have done.”
“So, you make me your fucking whore, call me as much, then leave. Because it is All TOO MUCH! For who? You!”
I shove him away from me. “I have never been, and I never will be your club bitch, you fucking selfish asshole. I was in high school when we did that shit. Don’t you dare shame me.”
Hawk looks down at the floor while I yell at him. “I have fucking loved you for years, and you left me. Left me. The betrayal hurts way more than what you did or said.” He looks away and then back to the floor. “Why won’t you look at me?” Still, he shakes his head, refusing. “What the fuck is wrong with us? Look at me, God damn it!”
Hawk’s face whips up to me. I wasn’t prepared for the intensity I would find there. Anger and regret shine in his eyes. “Because I hate the man I have become.” He grinds out, “I regret what I have done and so much more.”
“What more?” I question, my heart beating so hard my chest will explode.
His hands come up and hold my face. “Not loving you like a man should love his woman. Being fucking stupid. Your strength scares me. Sometimes, I think you will leave me for someone who understands you better.”
This is the most he has said in a long time, stunning me and leaving my mouth slightly open. “I would never do that.”
Tears roll down my face, ruining my perfect makeup, but I couldn’t care less. “You don’t see how bright you are. One day, you are going to want the world, and I will be left behind. It is what scares me. You will meet a better man, and you’ll leave. Your love is so sweet that I will die without it.” Hawk rasps, “I’m stuck in between pleasure and pain with you.” His thumbs brush away the tears before he kisses away the pain. At first, his lips are tentative as he whispers, “Don’t give your heart away. Promise me.”
“I love you. You can’t leave me,” I beg on a sob. A dam bursts free between us. For the first time, we are exposed, putting our pride aside.
Hawk pulls me in close and knocks the wind away with the strength of it. “I love you. I can’t lose you, Alessia.” My fingers dig into his cut, and we hold on to our love with everything we’ve got.
He loosens his hold. “I need you, Alessia,” he rasps while pulling my shirt away.
“I need you too.” This is dying slowly, with love and misery mixing into a potent cocktail of destruction. He kicks off his boots while his mouth captures mine in a bittersweet kiss fueled by regret and love. My hands push off his cut and shirt. I step out of my boots and pants. Our hands are frantic while we reclaim each other.
He backs me up, and I fall back on the bed in my lace panties. Hawk stills and his hooded gaze rakes over my body. Slowly, he crawls up my body, then removes my underwear before his boxer briefs are pushed down. “I’m so sorry, Alessia. Forgive me?” he begs.
My fingers tenderly float over his handsome face. “You never had to ask. I’ll always forgive you.” Hawk takes my mouth in a hurried kiss. Taking it all, he picks up one leg and positions his body to line up with mine before he pushes inside.
Hawk loves me with every stroke, slowly pumping in and out of me. “I need it all, you with my brand and my babies. For us to have it all.”
My other leg comes up, and I pull him into me. My grip holds onto his shoulders, needing to feel his flesh and power. “I want it all, but most of all, I just need you.”
Somewhere along the way, from tricking him as a teen to the woman I have become, we fell in love. Little did I know, I was holding onto and kissing the devil. Giving me things he shouldn’t have, his love and hope, when he is a liar.
Chapter 8
Hawk
I watch my wife from across the room. She smiles brightly at her family while talking with them over lunch. She is everything, and what a fool I was to believe otherwise. I will never tell a man on this Earth how bad I lost my mind. I still don’t fully understand what I did or why, but I could have lost her.
This past week, my mind reconnected with reality, and I see everything clearly of what I want. The only problem is Ashley keeps calling. I’ve ignored her number. I can only hope she goes away and finds another guy. I only fucked her once, and that was when I knew I hit bottom. Never went back to the house or called her. My
